Can’t take it personally, can’t let hope take over because of loneliness

Can’t keep crying through the days and nights, waiting and waiting

Hoping for a chance, but knowing you come second…

It’s the situation you agreed to and live in every day

Today is no different except you let your feelings take over for reason

The logic has left you which makes for a tear stained pillow

A soggy blanket that you held close because it’s all you had

Knowing your love is there but not feeling the gentle touch, not hearing the loving voice

It’s hard to get through a day of Love without experiencing it thoroughly.

Lost and confused in the whirling winds of the crowd

Lost in thoughts and conversation with all of those around

Swirling through the madness of the confusion of others

Surrounded by the every day happenings that come your way

Never knowing what will be done or said

Moving along trying to make sense of it all

Blind to what emotions may be in play, you’re left to guess

False Assumptions that lead to false conclusions

Stumbling through the day, transferring from one thing to the next

Trying to understand what will come next when there is no way of telling

No way of seeing the pattern through the mist, never knowing what’s approaching

Just keep looking and moving through the confusion of people and life

Hear the rumble in the distance….flashing across the horizon

As the wind begins to blow…a moist freshness in the air

You can smell the fresh scent of the rain drops that will soon be falling

Free falling down gently upon all of the awaiting visitors of earth

As the peacefulness sound of the calming nature all around you

The light rustling of the grass up against the quieting of the birds

As you feel the strength building as the storm sweeps across the land coming head on

You stare it down challenging it’s greatness and feeling the excitement

The strength and power overwhelm you as you become a pawn in the middle of the down pour

The black and gray above you swirls as the drops get heavy and splash down on you

The wind sweeps up to carry the drops from their original destination without question

Surround by a peaceful strength that leaves you amazed.

Does there need to be a definition of something for it to be a real thing?  If you were to ask something their definition of happiness, you might get a different definition every time…so much of an emotion or some non-tangable thing depends on the perspective of the person who is experiencing it.  Everyone has their own past and present that they bring to the table when they experience something new….Two people can be at the same event at the same time, standing right next to each other, and report two completely different things depending on what they saw through their own eyes…

Does that mean that the non-tangable things like happiness, sadness, anger, faith, etc. are not real things?  If there is no definition that will work for everyone, can it be a real thing, or something that just floats around in our subconscious or out there in the universe somewhere waiting to be experienced by every individual person so that everyone can decide for themselves what exactly each thing is or should be defined as.  So, if the definition isn’t solid, does that mean we can’t believe these things exist? 

I don’t think so, I think there can be a general understanding of something without an actual definition; however, if you start asking people to give a definition to these complicated feelings and concepts, you will only run into more questions.  What is happiness – anything that makes you feel good -  well then what is good?  And so on and so on. 

Is the definition what makes something real, or is the simple general knowledge what makes it real, and or gives it character among the living?

What makes a good leader?  I have been contemplating this thought as I have started working for a new place and a new boss.  This is the first boss I have had who seems to want more for his employees than we expect and want for ourselves.  He seems to really care what is going on our level, has a good sense of humor, and makes his presence known….it is a relief.  I think that most people want to know that they are backed up when they are trying to get a job done.  It makes it easier to think that you wont have to fight the upper levels when you get your task completed…that just maybe this time you wont get angry calls or emails saying that you aren’t doing a good enough job when you just went without sleep for a week to get something done that actually falls under their job description and responsibilities, not yours.  Its just nice to know that maybe somebody actually cares about what it’s like to be in the spot that you’re in, and are willing to work with you instead of just shoving you under the bus when things come in from a distance.

There are all kinds of leaders….of family, business, church, etc….but I think that most good leaders share a lot of the same qualities, and I for one am very glad that my new boss seems to be one of those people.  Not obsessed with what is best for him, or what will make him look better, but what will be best for everyone.  A lot of people will claim to be looking out for the best interest of the big picture, but I think that very few people do, especially in the business world.  I think that a lot of people are only looking to forward their own career, or make their own job more secure as the economy is still in the slump.

It’s crazy where some people can pick up inspiration.  Sometimes it can come from a word or  a picture or a vision or a dream….there are many reasons why people pursue the things that they do.  I think that half of the time people may feel inspired and may not even know what caused it, they just feel compelled.  I also think that a lot of the time we don’t understand our own inspiration, we know where it came from, we just might not understand the complete connection.  Some things can take themselves and evolve in a person’s mind until they become something completely different and hold just a sliver of the original thing.  Where as some people take inspiration in the other direction, the direction of copy cat.  Those people don’t seem to have very much imagination.  Some people leave part of the original but put a whole new spin on it.  I enjoy reading these types of things, many of these things generally end in mockery of the original, and can be very funny.

I enjoy getting inspiration from all sorts of different places.  Maybe a story I read, or something that happens in life, or maybe just a beautiful site in nature or a picture that I find stumbling around the internet.  I never know where a moment of inspiration will take me, I just start thinking and writing, or just thinking if it’s an inconvenient time to write it all down.  None the less, it’s always interesting even if I can’t understand what exactly stroked the fire that made me go down the path of thoughts that I did….or the events that evolved in my head.

Dreams are like time, nobody really knows what they are…or how they are made.  There are a lot of theories, but nobody really knows the truth.  I think it would be wonderful to know how to acknowledge a dream and then have control throughout it, living it as if it was real until I woke up.  I wish I had that kind of power over my dreams, but I’ve only realized I was dreaming a very few times and that caused me to wake up, except for one time that I can remember.  How wonderful would it be to have a separate reality, where anything is possible?  Where you could fly, change the background, go any place you want and try anything that may or may not be possible in the real world.

I think that it would be an amazing time to be able to dream up a world and to share that world with the people that you actually like to have around without the annoyance of the others.  You could have whatever animals around that you want, or be completely animal free if you aren’t an animal person…..anything would be possible.  Different colors everywhere, games, movies, whatever you like.

The movie Inception, perks a lot of interesting concepts about dreaming and controlling not only your own dreams, but influencing the dreams of others.  I think it would be amazing to be able to share a dream world.  To be able to create a world and invite people in, I have seen things like it with virtual worlds for online chatrooms where you design your own areas and everything, but how amazing would it be to feel like you were really there.  For everything to feel real and be a memory like a real experience would be.

Would the memory of a dream be of more or less worth than that of a real life experience?

Missing you in the darkness is the loneliness I’ve ever felt

Laying awake cold and undisturbed, huddled alone the bed feels like an ocean swallowing me up

Waiting for you to return and stay, waiting for the whispered “I love you, Good Night”

The passionate love never fading, always strong and burning bright

My heart feels your closeness and my body moistens with the thoughts

Feeling you enter and draw near, softly and passionately

Feeling you enter in the small hole left for you to fill

My heart is bleeding with a vast mixture of emotions

Loving you is my joy as the sweat mixes with the affection

Creating pure ecstasy as our bodies and hearts become one

So glad you’re here now to stay and sleep in the serenity of our gratification

Holding you close knowing that the love was not only for that instant but that it continues on

Knowing that missing you did not weaken the bond, but may have strengthened our joy in this moment

Knowing that I love you, I sigh and go to sleep in your arms

It is absolutely amazing what kind of things are found online.  Anything from complete books, to random facts, to jokes, to porn…Google has become a household word, instead of reaching for the dictionary or encyclopedia people fire up their computers or smart phones and go straight to the google homepage.  You can learn fascinating things from the internet, and one thing that I really appreciate about the internet is that many times you can find a simplified and quick way of gaining the knowledge you need or want at the moment.

You can also gain great trivia facts.  Like some of the following that I wanted to share here:

Futility Closet

Black Humor

I ran across a website that had a list of the most commonly used literary references, that most people don’t even know where they originated…this one caught my attention, I thought it was rather interesting the way that we have developed phrases and words into our every day lives so that it is expected that everyone knows the terms as part of the American culture.

Yahoo. We know it either as a way to describe an idiot or as the Betamax of search engines. But… yahoo is really a term that was coined by Jonathan Swift in “Gulliver’s Travels”.

In the book, Gulliver ends up in a country ruled by horses… where they boss around deformed, brutish, primitive humans, called Yahoos.

That’s how the term yahoo entered the cultural lexicon as a way to describe low-brow humans. And, apparently, the guys who founded Yahoo.com picked that name because they felt the word yahoo described the unsophisticated, undeveloped Internet at that time. (http://www.11points.com/Books/11_Literary_References_People_Make_Without_Realizing_It)

This is just one of their many examples on the website, and I think it’s a really good one.  This is an example that we have come to just accept certain terms, I don’t know a single person that has ever wondered where the term yahoo came from, I think most people, myself included just took it as the expression of excitement that someone decided to name their search engine, it never even crossed my mind that it could have come from some other place and had a real meaning behind it, as suggested on the website.

Like literature I have seen many people, especially in the younger generations reference and quote movies, and than not even know that’s what they were doing, they may have never even seen the movie, just heard someone else quote it once before.  It’s interesting how terms and phrases get adopted into our culture and then are never let go, just passed on and passed on, generally taking on a slightly different meaning all together until it no longer has the same meaning that it was originally intended.