Shining Thru

The fear and ignorance of the unknown is what controls our society…..

At the moment it is the swine flu; everyone is so concerned about washing their hands, who has been where on what trip, etc….when in reality if people look at all of the actual medical articles instead of all of the propaganda of the press they would find out that this swine flu is no more dangerous than the normal flu, that people forget is still killing people every year but people simply don’t notice it any more.  The swine flu is something new to scare the masses with, something new to hold some type of control and attention of the people. 

Generally people look for guidance when they can’t figure out a situation on their own….Which is why all of the politicians are coming out with this plan or that plan and everything else to try and convince people of what to do in the situation.  The only thing more powerful than the natural fear of the unknown is the ignorance that makes all of this the unknown and the problem that we have with people trusting what the media has to say instead of investigating something themselves. 

The government uses the media to trap people in their own ignorance…they say things in an immediate, urgent, and important way:  things like, “we have raised the alert level to level four”.  That sounds really serious when you see it on every news station along with video of everyone in Mexico walking around town with a mask on, a mask which by the way is not going to do hardly any good except keep people from sneezing and/or coughing on each other.  Anyways, what does the average person know about alert levels.  Come to find out it is only a six step process, but I doubt most people take the time to figure that out.  There could be only four levels, there could be a hundred levels, it wouldn’t matter because the majority of people know that they heard it on the news and it sounds serious.

Why does it take so much to let your feelings show through?  Why is it so hard to accept what you are feeling and let it be?  Why do we condemn some feelings while insisting on others?  Why do we expect everyone to feel the same in situations? 

I think feelings are thoughts that our brain hasn’t recognized, or maybe your brain has recognized it and that’s why you are pulling back and not allowing your feelings to show….Our society is so strange about feelings, half the time they’re telling you to always express how you feel and to be yourself…and then the rest of the time they are making a mockery out of you because you are not feeling the way they think you should be.  I think it’s strange that we live in a place where it’s a big deal to let your emotions show through….As far as I know we all feel things, we all experience different emotions….but yet it’s a big deal to actually let other people see those feelings and emotions go through you.  I don’t understand why it’s wrong just because it’s different…how can what you feel be wrong?  It just is….

Feelings are not things that you make blue prints for or practice in preschool…they simply are apart of being alive…we were all designed to have them, and yet it seems that most of us spend most of the day fighting what we are feeling…granted you have to keep yourself under control, but why deny the feelings that you are experiencing?  Why not just embrace them and help others to embrace theirs as well as deal with them?

I think that a lot of problems that our youth has is because we have taught them that certain feelings are plain wrong and wont talk to them about it or even acknowledge that they exist in some instances…Instead we should be telling them that it’s just a part of life and try to help them find a constructive way to accept and deal with their emotions. 

It seems to me like the few people who will accept any emotion from a person always want an explanation…well, what if you can’t give one?  What if the feelings are just simply there and you don’t know why, you don’t even really want to think about why….Heaven forbid if you experience more than one emotion at a time…when you find yourself in that crossway where you want to be happy because good things are happening, but something else happened that’s holding you back.  Or the opposite can be true too, you’re really angry, frustrated, or sad, but you really want to be happy because you know that good things are happening around you or maybe to someone who you are close to. 

The bottom line is, I wish that we could just be free to be ourselves in our society and be accepted for that; sadly, I’m not sure that will ever happen….

I want you without fear

I want you without hesitation

I want you to hold and cherish

I want you to passionately love without restraint

I want you

I want you without the fear and confusion

I want you without the complications beyond those that come with life

I want you

I want your love and tenderness

I want your moods and personality

I want you

I want your kiss, your touch, your whisper

I want the completeness I feel with you

I want you

I want all of you without exception

I want you without exaggeration

I love you and all I want is simply YOU

Why is it that we reward the criminals and make them into idols, why do we respect the people who are the problem of the world.  We give them the publicity, the attention and make them popular, especially to the younger generation.  There is only ever a blurb for the people who do amazing things to help others, like saving someone from a fire, or stepping in to protect someone, etc…but then when someone does something horrendous, murder, child abuse, animal abuse, etc.  Why do we encourage reckless and dangerous behavior with TV shows that show all of the crazy things people are doing, no matter if they are dangerous or harmful to others…. our society still tries to press it upon every everyone that they are the ones we should pay attention to.  I often wonder why our society focuses on all of the negative things in our culture…why is it that the negative things are what sell stories…why can’t we rejoice in the good in the world instead of the bad…what is it that draws us to the blood, fear, and pain???  If it’s not sex that sells it’s the murder, abuse, pain, and all of the other hurtful and negative things.

Right now it’s the Craig’s List killer who is getting all of the attention.  Why is that different then all of the other murders, because it’s something new and it’s associated with something that a lot of people are familiar with.  Why not focus on something useful like all of the child kidnappings, or child abuse cases or something that the attention might help in some way.  Instead we see the same thing on every news channel and the only thing it does is make the bad guy popular.

The joy pounds through your heart

You see the one you love

You imagine life with them forever

You know it’s right when you’re together.

The happiness fills your soul

You just enjoy being near them

They complete you and you don’t want to move on

You love them for who they are

And are completely accepted for who you are

Good, Bad, Complicated, or otherwise

You just want them with you

To sit with, talk with, and love.

Having to hide,

Not wanting others to see,

The raw emotions that arise.

Wishing you were really happy,

Not wanting to be angry,

Not wanting to be fake…

You’re torn

Do you hide, or live alive

Do you face reality or live in a dream

It’s hard when you know dreams are safer and nicer than harsh reality

But dreams don’t provide raw emotions

Only what you think you will feel

You miss out on the passion and true feelings

You miss out on the ups with the downs if you avoid reality.

It’s hard to live your life unaffected by those around you

To live in the happiness and bliss you were feeling five minutes before.

Then comes crashing down by letting others into your world, your life, your feelings

Anger and frustration arise, when your happy moments are cut short

Not all of life is meant to be happy, or we wouldn’t appreciate the good

But others’ hypocrisy, selfishness, and drama can really wear on you.

Taking a deep breath, closing your eyes, alone for a moment

Try to ignore what’s bringing you down and remember the happiness

the bliss, the love, the passion, the caring…..

Immerse yourself in what you know is right, and truly live

Why are we expected to put on and carry well the different masks of American society?  Why should we bother?  Why can’t we be moody or sarcastic if that’s who we are?  Why can’t we cry if we see something sentimental, sad, or moving?  It’s expected that we truly consider what we say, do, and even the looks that we give need to be considered.  We are suppose to wear a straight face in some situations, a smile in others, and the society view can still take it wrong at times…what about when you can’t help but smile even when you’re not “suppose” to….when society says it’s wrong to react the way that you can’t help but feel naturally.  Our society has an issue accepting raw feelings that simply come to people.  A person may consider your reaction to a situation wrong, simply because it is not how they felt in the same situation.  Not having understanding of someone or something, should not be a reason for automatic hatred, and yet so many times that is exactly why people are hated by others. 

I often wonder if we are trained to fear what we don’t understand or if it is something that we’re born with???  I think that it is something that our society promotes a great deal.  It is one of the main reasons that we have to wear masks, must blend in.  Otherwise, open yourself up to complete judgment, even by people who don’t know you, but might know who you are….such as a neighbor, coworker, friend of a friend…someone like that.  These people have been successfully trained by society and don’t even realize they’re wearing the masks that society has designed…they just condemn you for not wearing them…

Time seems to slip through your fingers…why is it that we never have enough time?  How do you decide what is more important, how much time to spend on a given thing, idea, or person?  How can people split their lives and sometimes not even realize they are doing it?  I don’t think I ever realized how many decisions a person makes each day….especially when it has to do with time.  What time do you get up in the morning so you can be ready on time?  How long do you spend picking out clothes, looking in the mirror, getting coffee and/or breakfast around?  What time do you leave for work?  What if there is a lot of traffic that morning???  These little decisions I think most of us make subconsciously, we don’t even have to think about them any more….But what about when it comes to big things…what about when the time frame is already decided for you and you have to decide what to use that time for?  You have an extra hour before the kids get home, do you:  start dinner, watch tv and relax, work on a project that’s been going on for a year, clean up before they mess it up again???  What about when you’re considering your first or next college degree….and the thought that keeps going through your mind is, do I really want to spend the next few years of my life on THAT?!! 

Time is a strange thing that controls so much of our lives, no matter how hard we try to fight against it.  Even if you’re a person who doesn’t run off of a tight schedule, I’m sure you work with or have to at least correspond with people who do… and even when it’s not a set time, there is generally a time frame that has to be followed in most things.  In most things you reach your limit for dealing with things, making decisions, and abiding by time….

Why did we ever invent time?  Was it to be able to better communicate?  Was it because they were bored and realized that the sun moved at the same pace every day?  Is it something that is naturally built into our beings?

When are you considered a grown up?  Is it when you own your own car or house?  When you live on your own and have bills?  When you have a family to take care of?  What exactly makes you qualified to make adult decisions?  Why is it that our younger generation is trying their best to speed up the process?  Why do we have girls in middle school who want to have babies of their own, and boys who don’t think about the consequences of their actions?  As scary as it is, the kids who don’t think about the consequences and are in the doctor’s office crying with the results are more comforting than the 10 and 11 year old girls who want to have a baby, or the high school girls and boys who feel like they have to have sex once they get to high school, if they haven’t started already.  This is definitely not the same world I grew up in, the one where I thought my parents would kill me if I even went into a boy’s room at the age of 14.  Now there are pregnant girls in the majority of high schools across America.  Some girls even have goals like having two or three kids before they graduate.  I can’t imagine having children and trying to go to high school.  I give credit to those who are able to pull it off…but it really makes me wonder what kind of life they are going to have after that.  I have seen one high school student step up and really take responsibility and became a great mom who worked and took care of her own child…but mostly I see parents turning into grandparents at such an early age that they just go ahead and adopt their grandchild, sometimes even officially.  It’s great for families to help each other out, but I’m really afraid that some areas of the country are sending a message to kids that it’s ok to mess around because your parents or aunts or uncles will bail you out when you end up in over your head.  I don’t understand why kids want to grow up so fast, they will have plenty of time to make adult decisions when they are adults…..that is if they stop trying to make them when they are too young and a lot of times getting themselves into dangerous situations. 

In all fairness though, there are plenty of people who are legally adults, that you really wonder how they made it this far…and some 13 year olds that have seen things that I may never see in my life, experienced more heart break than any person should have to….so really, what makes you an adult…what makes you mature enough to live your own life and decide your own fate???