Shining Thru

Floating above

Separating from the rest

Push away the feelings and pain

Push away the chance of happy change

Look away because it could bite back

Look away because it might not be a true gift

But you can’t help but look towards the light

The future that you long for

The love that you’ve dreamed of

The love that makes you float in happiness,

instead of floating in loneliness.

You don’t want to be brought back to earth

You don’t want to leave the happy love

You want to stay on the cloud that is safe.

The loving arms around you,

The body heat next to you,

The love that lights your soul

Makes you float….

It’s funny how we get use to things sometimes….and yet fight other things until the bitter death, maybe we never get used to it.  You can be an addict to all sorts of things that people don’t realize.  You can even be an addict to routine, especially when you find a routine that you like, feel comfortable in, or just find that it makes you feel better.  What is it about some changes that seem so natural and maybe even necessary, but other changes are just met with dispute, anger, frustration….

It’s crazy how good some little things can make you feel.  Something as simple as being able to talk to someone every day to start off the day; for some people it’s as simple as a cup of coffee to start off their day.  Everyone has their own comforts in life, some of us settle for the small comforts in life and are satisfied with the happiness that it brings to us.  Others need material things, expensive things in order to be  happy.  For some people it’s control, they need to be in control of every situation around them, they need to feel powerful in order to be happy. 

I think it’s pretty amazing how most people I know fall into a pattern and then don’t quite feel right if that routine is broken for any reason that they didn’t see coming.  We are creatures of habit, no matter how much some people want to deny it, I still believe it’s true.  I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with having a routine you are comfortable with.  Life is too short to go around miserable, if you find something that makes you happy, you should stick with it, not deny yourself because you feel like you’re getting too set in your ways.  I think a lot of the happiness just comes from knowing what to expect for the day.  I think it makes people comfortable to know what is going on, and nervous and tense when they don’t have something set up for the day. 

What makes a good leader?  What makes someone fit to be in charge?  Everyone works for someone, if it’s your supervisor, boss, or just the client; everybody has to work to please somebody.  But what is the line you have to draw and say, this person wasn’t meant to be a leader, not a true leader, they might make a good politician and be able to accomplish parts of the job, but as for an actual leader…what qualities does a person need to have? 

I think that a real leader needs to be able to do more than manage things, a real leader needs to be able to delegate, earn the trust of their followers/workers, and most importantly be above all of the normal work drama.  If a leader gets sucked into the drama of the workers, they have failed.  If they can be easily persuaded without any evidence or logic in a situation then you know they will fail.  In order to be an effective leader you need to be able to put your personal feelings aside and work with everyone to be successful at the task at hand, no matter what that task is.  Talking in circles is something to leave to the politicians wanting publicity, a real leader isn’t afraid to state plainly what they believe is right.  A real leader will stand up for those that work with them.  A real leader will directly address a problem and acknowledge that they are working with adults who can and will make their own decisions, and can hold their own.  If someone isn’t doing their part to make things work, then the leader should get rid of them.  A leader needs to do what is best for the whole group, company, etc.  Not what is best for them.  The leader looks out for all of those that need to trust them to make everything run smoothly. 

If the person in charge doesn’t have the trust of those that work under them then they are not a leader, they simply have a title that looks better on a resume.  Trust and support is what I believe the innerworkings of all jobs, offices, work places need to be based on in order for everyone to work  together to make the business successful. 

If you can’t trust your “leader”, then it’s time to stop following them up.  It’s our job to make improvements to what we know isn’t right.  It’s important that we do not blindly follow people simply because they have a leadership title.  There is more to being a leader than holding the title.

What is a Dream?  Is it something that occupies your mind while you are sleeping?  Or something that you fear or loath?  Maybe it’s something that you secretly hope for, maybe something that you openly hope for…???  What is it in our being that makes us dream?  Is it the mind, experiences mixed up and coming together, maybe to a blurrier vision, maybe to a more acute vision….Or is it the heart and soul, ideas that your mind has yet to recognize that brings them out of you? 

Some people think of a dream as a life goal, like the American Dream, which is a lie, but I’ll save that for another time.  Some people are so set on what they want to do in this world that they focus all their energy on achieving it.  For some people it’s simply finding someone to share their life with and love and be loved…for others it’s a career choice, some business adventure that they have always “dreamed” of having.

I think that there is a difference between dreams at night and day dreams.  Day dreams (fantasies), I think are sparked by conscious thought…something that has happened, something that you know you want and your mind is driven, focused on it, even when it’s focusing in the background of everything else.  Dreams that happen at night acknowledge thoughts that don’t always get recognition during the day.  Sometimes they are obviously connected to something that has happened that day or that week that has been on your mind, sometimes you don’t know where the dream came from.  Sometimes even thoughts you have only had in dreams seem to make sense when you wake up, but sometimes they seem scattered and disorganized.  It really makes me wonder what makes us dream.  Are the scattered thoughts, bits and pieces of desires or fears we haven’t recognized yet?  Or are they simply a mixture of everything that is going on in your world?

Recently watch “What Dreams May Come” In retrospect, I think it should be called “What Heaven May Come.”

I figured the movie would be an intricate portrayal of a man’s personal hell. It’s really a portrayal of how a man’s customized heaven readily became his personalized hell.

What would my personal Hell be? My personal hell would involve dying and waking up to realize that I wasn’t done yet. My personal hell would involve everyday things like night stands and couches. There would be annoying people and stupid people. In fact, my personal hell would pretty much be like Life, with the oppressive addition of Eternity. That’s what would make it a hell for me. As individuals, we tolerate existence because we hope beyond all reason that our lot in life will improve and then End. It’s the Goal that drives us. Progress is built into our genes and to be robbed of the possibility of progress, to be reduced to slow degradation, is the epitome of hell. It’s not the burning part that scares people, it’s the fact that it could last forever.
But you needn’t worry. Your God is a wuss.  Seriously. My God could beat up your God My God is a lot tougher than yours. He could prolly bench more weight. He’s prolly killed more Indians (and Afrikaans, and… and…). He expects more and His punishments are a lot tougher.

My God would shiver ye timbers.

Though, for the life of me, I can’t imagine what my perfect heaven would be. I can’t even imagine a God that gives a damn. I can’t think of a single scenario in which I’d chose to spend eternity. The idea of heaven is really counter to what we as humans are bred to be. It works against our souls and our basic nature and desire for progress. In this regard, Heaven doesn’t exist.

Conversely, I know that any Hell crafted by the God of my understanding would be a hateful insidiously evil place designed to make one regret every second of one’s miserable afterlife. A hell crafted by Him, would be a place of great woe.

Ponder heaven and reference it against eternity and then ask thyself: what dreams may come? What dreams, indeed.

I was watching a very interesting show on the National Geographic Channel today called “Inside a Cult.”  It was a very interesting documentary about several of the big religious cults that have been exposed in the US.  The show focused on the compound of Strong City.  This group believed their leader was the Messiah, but their “Messiah” ends up not being able to accurately predict the end of the world and instead is instead taken and prosecuted for sexual relationships with minors that also lived on the isolated compound.

One of the most interesting parts of the documentary was when it showed the members rejoicing over what was suppose to bring about a change in body for their “Messiah” but yet nothing happened that day.  As it turned out the world did not end on October 31, 2007.  They had a psychologist who studied different cult behaviors, she kept being brought on to interject comments on what was happening.  After we saw the members rejoicing despite the fact that nothing happened on the date that had been proclaimed, the psychologist came on and stated that in cases like this where the cult has completely consumed their lives, instead of abandoning the beliefs that they are hanging on to, it is easier for them to distort their perception of reality to match their beliefs….Strangely enough none of the members or the leader would comment on his supposed change in body. 

Although the psychologist was referring to the mindset of cult members, I have to wonder how often people do the same thing in every day life…..How often do people want and/or need something so badly that they begin to alter what is real around them to make themselves feel better.  Some people would argue that is all religion is in general.  Others would argue that is all life is….what is reality???  Isn’t everyone’s reality how they perceive it, even if  it is not what is actually real, what is real is what we believe to be real.  How can we tell the difference between actual reality and our perception of reality?

Do we all live in an altered reality?  If so, what is it that makes us decide who is a part of it and who is not “normal”?  Maybe there is a common understanding of the reality that we all experience…  Look at it like this, if there is a fight that happens and ten people are watching the two people fight.  There are twelve different interpretations of what happened for things it escalate into a fight.  All versions of the story might have comment threads, but everyone’s perception will be just different enough to be declared their version of the story, their truth.  Is this how life works?  We all live with the common grounding to the world, but have our own perceptions from then on?

Staring, Waiting, Wondering

Anxious, Nervous, Fidgeting

Minutes tick by

Darkness falls and stars follow

Waiting….

Simply Waiting….

Thinking in circles

Wanting Answers

Not know the questions to ask

What question will unlock the right answers?

Where do you find the key?

Curiosity growing

Worry subsides to logic

Logic spins thinking

Thought goes full circle

I hate it when you seem to care more about someone’s well being than they do.  When you end up stressed out because another person is failing at something or even at life…not really living…just existing, and yet they only whine, complain, try to get by on their looks or charm or money, and you’re the one trying to help them sort it out, while they sit back and do nothing.  You can only take this for so long, before you get tempted to throw your hands up and be done with the situation and the person….but they you are called a bad friend, or told that you are the reason that they are failing.

I wish people would take responsibility for their own choices, actions, or lack there of….If you do nothing to help yourself, wishes and prayers can only get you so far.  I heard once, “God can give you the canoe, but sometimes you need to paddle yourself, the current will only take you so far.  I think that’s very true in life, you can’t keep hoping for a new job, smaller pant size, a relationship, and continue to whine when you don’t get it if you’re not actively trying to get these things.  I wish we could just make a wish on a star and POOF it’s there in the morning…last I tried, it doesn’t work.  A wish and a prayer will get you nothing but empty dreams.

In order for our society to succeed, we need to teach the younger generation the qualities of respect and responsibility that we have somewhere lost along the way.  If we do not instill a work ethic and an idea of being responsible for yourself, our society is going to keep falling further and further into debt.  With a generation that is growing up in a world without consequences and rules, we will really be hurting when they are the ones in control and have no way of knowing how to establish order to their own lives much less, companies, communities, or government; we will be living in chaos. 

Black and White

Gray…Hazy fog moves in

Gathering at the bottom of the ravine

Nothing in sight but mist

Person can’t see, comprehend

A glance through one eye

Squinting trying to see

Turn around and look

Life is made of middle ground, gray haze

The vibrant colors of day spill out in the sunrise

The colors concealed as darkness falls

Shadows of the world move in

The unknown is revealed

 What makes people paranoid about what they don’t know, why do we hesitate for opportunities to experience new things?  What is it that intimidates us?  Makes us wait and see?  What makes people wait to see someone else go first?  Why are we afraid of what we don’t know…we of course referring to our society in general….  Why does our society fear what could be looked at as exciting and new..instead so many push for traditional and sticking with what has been done in the past.  Our society seems to only want what it can know and understand, it trains people to believe that anything different from the standards set forth by the majority is wrong.  The only thing I can see this doing is making people hide who they really are so that they are not seen as different, or “wrong.”  What is the logic behind making people appear to be “normal” so that you can feel like you are in control when really you are only making more unknown variables, because now you don’t know who is really following protocol and who is just putting on a face for society to see.

Yearning Cries

Dark blindness

Specs of light

Night falls

Covering all

Lamps on

Curtains Close

What happens behind closed doors?

Secrets of the Night

All alive and well

Moans and Groans

Tears and Laughter

Sobs and Smiles

Whispers in the Night

Night darkens into deep breaths

Calm Love or hurtful loneliness

Diversity of Night

Tender Eyes and Touch

Cold Blankets to be warmed

Lay down your head

And let Night Fall