Shining Thru

It’s so strange when you meet new people and you have no idea how to read them, you have no idea what could possibly be going through their mind…you can only guess and go off of previous experience with body language and other people that you know and hope that’s enough not to miscommunicate with someone.  You never know what people will take the wrong way.  The smallest thing could turn huge in a hurry if you are unaware that some people have meanings for things that you couldn’t even possibly imagine.  The smallest gesture with your hand or a look out of the corner of your eye could be construed as flirting by one person or a challenge to fight by the next. 

How are we suppose to be able to read people when half of us don’t know what goes on in our own minds?  It’s hard enough to try and understand a friend when they are in an odd mood, much less someone you just met and have no idea what kind of moods they are even capable of……

I think it’s pretty interesting how much we associate with colors.  We are surrounded by colors all day, and yet they have an affect on our thought process.  Most fast food places use the colors red and yellow because it makes you feel in a hurry but hungry, or at least so the psychologist say; therefore, we end up buying more but freeing up the seats so more people can come in and feel hungry.  Colors are used like crazy in movies or in art to stir emotions as well.  We have a lot of connotative meanings that have been programmed into us for each color.  When thinking of red people generally think of love and passion, yellow equals friendship, most people think that envy goes with green (“you’re turning green with envy”). 

I think it’s strange when those random surveys people send you ask you what color you would be if you were a color, or what your favorite color is.  I’m sure that the test doesn’t read my answer the way that I think about it.  I always answer blue, because I think that blue can mean such a variety of things.  Blue can be thought of as a calming color, but it can be a very vibrant and strong color, or it can be a sad color, it can be a dark and dangerous color, it can be a bright and happy color…it can be whatever your mood needs it to be. 

Come to think of it, the only other color that seems to have a wide range is still not as versatile, it just has opposite meanings depending on what you are thinking about and that is Red.  Red can be hot, passionate love, or bloody death.  Even that is not complete opposite because a lot of time a bloody death can also be a passionate thing….just not a loving romantic passion….more of an angry obsessed, controlling passion. 

I think it’s pretty interesting how colors are used in advertising and movies and everything else we see every day.  Some colors catch our attention because they are so bright and vibrant, some are calming and more neutral hues.  I also think that it’s amazing that companies and industries have figured out how to use our emotions connected with certain colors to their advantage….

I can’ t imagine a world without color….but if you never saw color I guess you wouldn’t know what you were missing.  But once you saw color, it would be so sad to be without it, I think so much of the world’s beauty comes from color.  It’s pretty amazing that we are able to take the colors and know that they are being used to inspire or control our thoughts and feelings and yet we can still find such beauty in the natural colors of the world.

Isn’t it amazing how fast something new and exciting can turn into something old and redundant, leaving you without interest or motivation?  Take a new job for example; you are all excited, maybe nervous, wondering what the atmosphere and how the people will be.  You take your time getting ready because you want to make a good impression.  you go in ready to take on the world and make a difference with your presence.  I think most of us are quickly disillusioned and lost momentum.  Maybe you still really like your job, but the excitement and thrill of it being new is gone.  The question is, can you have the passion without the excitement and nervousness?  I wonder if our society has always been like this or if people use to find as much excitement in their line of work in the fifth year as the first day….

With my job there might be an exciting day from time to time, but it seems like the personal threill is gone…maybe not completely but I definitely have days werhe I don’t feel like going to work, which never happened when I first started…..I can’t help but wonder if people use to just find happiness in knowing that they did a good days work…or if they simply suffered through jobs day after day to provide for themselves and their families…..

I think that everyone has a right to get their emotional release, a break from stress and life.  I also don’t think that we should judge people for the way that they get that release as long as it’s nothing that will hurt anyone else.  If they are just keeping to themselves and need to do something like binge or are a part of a fetish of some kind…that is their business.  I think that we have to spend too much time living up to society’s idea of “normal” (if there is even such a thing). 

Everyone deserves that chance of a moment of peace in their busy lives.  Some people go shopping, some people watch a movie, some people have a drink, some people have sex, some people eat, some dance; I say as long as it doesn’t hurt someone else they should be allowed to blow off society for a few minutes and get their moments of feeling at peace and de-stressed.

“Forget Regret, or Life is yours to Miss.”  I really like this line from the musical Rent.  I think it says a lot about how we should all live our life.  I know that I have gotten caught up in personal guilt, worry, regret, and wondering “what if”….We don’t have time for all of that.  We have right now, and right now is a result of everything that has happened in the past yes, but how we live right now is what makes up the future so why screw up the future by worrying about what you did in the past….it’s in the past, this is now, this is what we need to concentrate on. 

No one ever guaranteed us tomorrow…..so we can’t worry about what will happen in the future, just as we can’t worry about the past…if we spend our whole life worrying, we’re not living.  Let yesterday be, because it’s in the past, and take care of tomorrow when it’s today.  No need to worry about tomorrow when you need to live today, you need to make decisions today…yes those decisions may affect the rest of your life, but if we spend so much time worrying about the consequences of one decision, we’ll miss out on the opportunity all together. 

In an effort to not think about the situation that we are in some people avoid thinking too deeply by living in the past,  walking down memory lane all of the time, or dive into one aspect of their life like work or a hobby…just to avoid thinking about whatever thing they don’t want to acknowledge fully in their life…most of us have something. 

Living in the moment seems like a simply theory, a great way to live…but we all know there is more to it than that.  I wish it was that easy.  Unfortunately most of us are aware that our life is linked to many other lives and that our decisions have an affect on all of those people.  It’s also true that sometimes we can’t control the “what ifs” that go through our minds.  But we can control how much time we dwell on these things…sometimes we need to look ahead or remember the past, but we can’t forget to live the right now, right here….

Life is a song,

fluid and free

ever changing,

never knowing

unexpected

always happening.

Moving through

Living through

Immersed in the song.

The music,

The beat of our lives

Sometimes fast

Sometimes slow

Sometimes out of rhythm…

We move through the song

like a never ending dance

Keeping time

Swaying and Spinning

Never holding still

Not wanting the harmony to disappear,

We move through life’s song.

Can being too open minded be a bad thing?  When your thought process is fluid and you’re completely open to at least hearing new thoughts, even if you don’t take them on yourself?  Or is it what we should all strive for?  I think that one of he problems that we may run into if we are too open minded is being too easily influenced by the things that we encounter, media of all sorts for example, news reports, radio, TV, books, magazines…all of these things can influence you to the point where you adopt a pattern of thought or some outlandish idea because it is new and you want to explore it some more.  So you go on, thinking and living in the new idea and maybe even a whole mindset that you have just been introduced to, not realizing that it’s not part of your personality at all…that you might not even agree with it….I suppose that is the beauty in a fluid way of thinking, it might not be safe or fail proof, but it is intelligent and without risk we would never have discovery.  I think that the fear comes in when you lose control of how open minded you want to be….If you allow too much from the media inside the inner-workings of your brain, are you still thinking for yourself or simply absorbing all that you are introduced to , testing it, exploring it, and then discarding what doesn’t fit into your life at the time?

The Romance that comes so naturally

has been building from the time we first met

Your gentle touch and sparkling eyes

I love to see you happy

Make you laugh

Converse until night fall

Then move together as one

Your firm gentleness that makes me feel wanted and loved

The wonderful feelings that come when you’re around

The want, lust, and love that all complement each other so nicely

Everything comes together and I know it will last forever.

What does it take to accept yourself for who you are?  Does it include your feelings, even if you know they aren’t always logical…does it mean not making excuses or apologies for what comes natural…even if others see it as wrong?  Does it include the situation that you find yourself in?  Can you have confidence without complete acceptance of who you are?  What if there is something that is very natural in you, but something that you want to go away, should you try and change it, or accept it and just learn how to live with it? 

Strangely enough, I think that some of the cockiest people have the lowest self confidence and have not accepted who they are; they may not even know who they are.  Self discovery is a strange feeling and a long process.  I am willing to bet that some people die, having never figured out who they really were, having always lived in someone’s shadow or the ideals others’ set for them as a child. 

If you hate the situation that you find yourself in, I can see why it would be easy to focus that in as self hatred and blaming yourself for getting yourself in the situation…and although you are responsible for your own choices in life, I don’t think that it’s any reason to hate yourself for those choices…what’s done is done, the question is how will you grow from the experience and move forward into the future with your new understand of yourself and the life that you want to lead. 

I don’t think that we can change our nature…what comes natural to us, has been their since birth…but I do think that we can decide how to use what was given to us to live the type of life that we want to live.  I think that we can accept even our worse qualities and simply learn from them and turn it into something positive that will help you go forward in life. 

I do think that in order to be truly happy, which is something beyond simple contentment, you need to accept yourself…I’m just not sure as to what all that entails.

Being overwhelmed by feelings is like falling….It’s like being at the edge of a cliff and looking straight down; You decide to Jump….to let go of the ledge…To free fall and see where you land.

Not knowing if you will even survive, but needing to find out despite the possible consequences….logic gives way…..Nerves, fear, submission to feeling is all that is left.

Not fighting anymore you are free; Free to feel what ever comes naturally; Free to do what is needed to get that release

Sobbing Strain reaches your ears; Uncontrolled emotions are released

You’re no longer inprisoned by your thoughts and logic, no longer looking for a way to hide what you feel…Simply allowing yourself to be immersed in the natural emotions. 

Feelings are no longer on a short leash but are the leader; your logical brain has no say in the matter;

The powerful out-pour of emotions is beautiful….It’s a beautiful intimate truth

Make no excuses, Just let it all go and feel at peace…..