It’s so hard to know that you love someone that you may never be able to be with.  I don’t know how to accept the fact that I have no control over the fact that I have found the love of my life and don’t know if things will turn out for us to be together or not.  What makes it even harder is knowing the alternative…knowing the choice that needs to be made.  Knowing that I am asking a lot of the man that I love.  But I can’t help the fact that I love him and when I’m not with him I feel a slight emptiness and miss him very deeply.  He has become a huge part of my life and I love everything about him.  I hope that just this once things can work out, I want to spend the rest of my life with the person that I love.  I want that person to be with me because they love me and not be in a relationship out of obligation.  I think that everyone deserves to be with someone who loves them as much as they love that person.  I know my love is pure and will never cease to be, I’m terrified of what will happen if there comes a time when I will not have permission to show my love any longer.  I don’t know what I will do with out the touch and kiss and long conversations….I love our intimate moments as well as our silly ones, I don’t want them to stop and simply be memories, I want it to go on for the rest of my life, as I know that the love that I feel will continue to go on for as long as I’m alive.