Shining Thru

The feeling of worry is a strange one…half the time people worry about things before they even know it’s something to worry about.  Worry can make a person concerned about an event or fact that isn’t even fact yet….Many people get partial information or the lack of contact and start working over it in their mind until every possible circumstance has gone through, scenarios that make you angry, frustrated, or just plain scared.  You hope for the best, but the best is frustrating as well.

Amazing how someone can take a tiny piece of information and blow it up into a full out story before anything actually happens.  People can worry and stress or live in denial or passiveness.  Either extreme is useless in moving through whatever is going on.

We have to find the information, get the details and then look at everything with a new perspective.  A clean look with logic will generally wipe out both extremes, doesn’t mean that what’s going on is any less important, but at least they can be looked at logically….able to push the emotions aside in order to figure out what is going on.  You can’t blow things out of proportion, just like you can’t continue to ignore their existence….Both extremes will get you nowhere productive, both extremes keep you from moving forward…

I’m kind of tried of hearing people complain about people in public service jobs:  the cops only eat donuts and drink coffee, teachers are over paid babysitters, nurses only write things down for the doctors, or couldn’t make it through med school….

People make these complaints until they need that service from someone in the community and we wonder why these people are bitter.  They probably love their job, or they wouldn’t do it for the crappy pay.  But instead of thanks they generally get complaints and people who don’t understand why anything that they dream up might simply not be possible….

Why do people think that only their needs are important?  Or that they should always be the first priority?  Instead the people who try to do public services only end up being complained about and hated.  People only want to complain, without taking the time to understand what others have to do.  I think that people should really take the time to look at what other people have to do instead of wondering why they are not doing what you want them to do.

How do you decide what is right and what is wrong?  How do you decide to believe one person and not the other…especially when the other person is depending on your support.  How do you decide that even though one person goes against the rules, they were in the right?  What makes that change over in your head…is it truly who you know that makes the difference?

I know people complain all of the time about celebrities getting out of traditional consequences for anything from theft, assault, to murder…all depending on who they are and if the news thinks that they will make more money supporting them or making it worse for them.   What gets to me, not that people want celebrities to get justice like everyone else, and face the consequences for their actions, but the fact that this exact scam happens on all levels and as far as I can tell, in all communities.

Even at the high school level, the Principal’s child gets special rights and privileges simply because they know nothing will happen to them.  They know they can choose to obey or disobey the rules and nobody is going to say anything to them…in fact they will probably do all they can to cover up for the child, simply because they don’t want the mama drama of their coworker.

Or what about when a boss is obviously unfairly treating a fellow employee, do you opening support the boss while secretly despising them and just hoping that they will find another job soon?  Or do you stand behind what you know is right….I guess that depends on how important your ethics are compared to your job and in this economy…I guess it’s a situations by situations type of decision.

I can’t blame people for wanting to protect their job security…but how long is our community going to stand behind the it’s who you know and how rich they are policy?  How long are we going to find it a moral dilemma of who we should support when we know who is in the right?  How are we going to continue to let those decisions simply slide under the radar while everyone else turns the other way for just a minute?

I don’t know what makes one thing right and one thing wrong…but I do know that we have only encouraged double standards in our society.

Why do people worry about what is in the past when there is no way to change it?  Why try to change something that is unchangeable?  Regret serves no purpose.  Instead of spending all of the time regretting the past, I wish more people would simply examine the past with an open mind and learn from it to make the future better.  Why try to undo what is already done while the future is still undecided.  The future can still be changed.  The future still hangs in the balance.  People are spending all of their time regretting the past and that only leads to not paying enough attention to the present or where things will go from where, which leads to more regrets.

I feel bad for people that live in the past instead of the present.  Although there are some people who don’t consider the present enough because they are so focused on the future…it’s like they fail to realize that we can’t get to the future without the present and that all of the choices we make now are the choices to keep them on the path to the future they want.  I know we don’t have complete control over anything like that…but why worry about what’s not right here???

What is time?  A stream of moments that are linked together through life?  Moments that are compacted to the point that they live side by side and have to find a way to harmonize?  I often wonder if time even exists….

Who is to say that we didn’t simply create time and time lines to make communication easier….what if everything happens on the same plane instead of in a linear fashion?  What if all aspects of time:  past, present, future, are all happening right now, together and always have been?

What if the reason we don’t have control over what happens in time is because it all happens simultaneously?  What if time travel were possible, but because the only people who ever looked into it, looked for a linear version of time that doesn’t exist, and missed the possibility all together???  Weird thoughts come about time.  You never know what to expect in your own life time or what will happen next….what if it has already happened?  There’s a thought that will throw you for a loop…like talking about multiple planes of existence.

What if we didn’t acknowledge time with a clock and a calendar?  What if we didn’t hold ourselves to the confines of the minute and hour?  What would life be like if time was an abstract theory instead of something we have made concrete with our every day practice of it….

Blank

A clean sheet of paper floating in the wind

Brought down and tossed back up

The wings of the fairies dance around the purity

Light shines in rays of brightness through the trees

The open field is a playground

A dancing parade for the emptiness

Not knowing where to go, trapped in the beauty

The moment of nothing

No worries, no pressing matters

Lost in the light of the day

Nothing good, nothing bad

Just peace

Sleepiness washing over you like a tidal wave of hopes and dreams
A crashing blow that brings you down
Or a gentle rocking that can put you out
Weariness that is inside your soul as you move forward
Avoiding sleep, without a choice
Pressing on you hear the voice
Calling to you with a sweet lullaby
Nodding your head you stand up to make the effort
Making a move so you don’t stop in your tracks
Your head steadily falls
Eyelids closing gently but forcefully
You can’t go on and fight the dream
You can only submit to the power of nature
The human body and its design
Come crashing down into your reality
Knowing you need to move and can’t
Knowing something must be done
Sleep is the only option now

Unforeseen history in the making…every day we go through and every person that we meet goes into our personal history book.  Never knowing what’s coming can’t look back until it’s printed on the pages.  Sometimes I wonder how my story will end up.

Watching people out in crowded spaces sometimes I wonder what their story is….some people look creepy some people look happy some people look distant and sad….I wonder where they have been and how their stories will end.

Everything that we experience helps to form the life that we will end up with, the life that will be looked at probably only upon our death, maybe not even then….  I think that very few people have their lives examined, do people care about the history that the average person has put into the world?  What if the average Joe down the street is the one who started the ripples that ended with something great happening, and someone else getting the credit?

What if people are linked to your pages that you don’t even realize because they are in a different volume, a new series but still a spin off and are connected to your pages?

The book of life is an ongoing history account of all of the people in the world…all of the events and situations that they encountered, how the first event has spiraled, penetrating into lives that were not even an afterthought or the beginnings of a thought when the even occurred, into lives that the person was not even aware existed.  Degrees of separation in life are only important when you need to prove something….what about all of the events and history of the every day life that is never questioned or examined…what if someone were to look at what was really written in the every day history book?

It’s strange how much influence one moment can have on a person or on a day or on a life….One moment of intense pleasure can erase a lot of pain and disappointment.  One moment of disappointment can cause a life time of pain and influence if someone allows themselves to dwell on it.  A moment of time can, if allowed by a person, create an obsession with either guilt or pleasure to the point that it influences the rest of their life….

A moment can be any length of time.  It could be in a smile, an event, a day, a month, a phase of life….It could be in a movie or a book that you read, or maybe a person that you meet or hear speak and are introduced to new ideas.

Have you ever been controlled by your feelings in a situation?  Or had an incredible time that makes up for a lot of failures, mistakes, and obstacles…something that is so wonderful it gives you positive energy and encouragement to simply keep going….even if you felt like you were on the edge of giving up that one moment makes it so that you can keep moving…??  It’s an amazing experience.

So many things can cause disappointment….small or large, it’s still effective and can build like a volcano.  Some days you’re afraid to try and do something to make up for the last disappointment because you fear more disappointment….sometimes you can’t take more disappointment in one time period.  Sometimes you order your favorite food at a restaurant because you’ve been craving it for days maybe even weeks…and then it’s screwed up.  Or you go to see a movie the day it opens because you’ve been looking forward to it since the day that you found out about that it was being made.  And then you find out that you liked the story a lot more when you read the book and pictured everything in your head.

Sometimes the little disappointments add up to the point that you can’t handle a large disappointment, or at least makes it much bigger than it would have been had you been having a good time.  Sometimes things add up and up until they are huge, other times big things come and come and it seems like you’re never going to break free of the circle of disappointment you’re never going to get out to the point that you feel like nothing will go right again.

Situations come and go, but there will be always something to disappoint…a movie, a friend, a feeling, a lie, who knows….disappointment sometimes shows up when least expected…usually when you’re just starting to feel safe and secure again.