Always have to be brave and look out for the others

Always have to stay quiet and keep the secrets locked behind closed doors

Not wanting to upset the others you stay quiet and smile

Give hugs at night and always be brave

No monsters will get you little ones you say….and think, not while I’m here to keep them at bay

Standing guard you brace yourself for the sacrifice of another night

No sweet dreams for you as the others are set free in the darkness

Your nightmare is only beginning, as the stars glisten in from the window

The door creeks but it is not the monster in the closet, but the one down the hall

Calling out in a whisper, you pray that it will only come after you again this night

When it’s over the filth is the only reminder that the others are safe and you did your part

You kept the secret for another night but the knife feels heavier under your pillow

you grip the cool handle and wait…….

At school the others look at you, as if they know you’re hiding behind your face

Something more than the honor roll is held up inside the book sack that you carry

Getting through every day with straight A’s only gets you ignored

By your peers, teachers, counselors, and more

Traveling home on the bus, you sit in the same seat and stare at the same streets

You offer a smile up to a boy that walks towards the back but the icy gaze halts the march

He sits, back turned, out of sight out of mind the world keeps turning in denial

Look back outside the last hope of emotional expression cleared from your heart

You stare and wait………..

The houses fly by until you see the one you are suppose to call home

Not knowing what’s waiting inside you go ahead with the bravery that has become self sacrifice

The fake smiles and hugs as you enter into the chaos that awaits

Dinner burning, dirty floors and faces all around

Having to grow up and leave the past you push forward ever standing

Bracing yourself you move ahead, not allowing yourself to look back

Not wanting to think about what’s in the shadows that will follow

Looking only at what’s there, the only thing that’s real

You slip under the covers and again begin to pray

Reaching around the cool handle….you wait……

Years go by, never stopping to ask why

never stopping to wonder if you were alone

Never stopping to let someone in on the pain

Never expecting anyone else to stop and offer a bone

Dealing withe scraps of life that fate had sent and lent……You wait……..

Always moving forward with the bravery that was learned so long ago

embedded into your very being of survival

no one knows what awaits them under your shadowy mind

As it is overcome with the years of grief and turmoil

You go on waiting, hoping, but never quitting….never turning back.

Until at last you can’t see the end, for the earth no longer has a drop off

You can see that it is an every lasting circle of hurt and affliction

The circle that has only one possible solution, only one that you can see to make it stop

The knife is still there all these years later and you realize that it was never met for another

It was always for you, only meant for you, the only way to end the wait

Tags: emotions, fighting emotions, survival
Filed under: Life, People