Happy times remembered with a guilty conscience as you see the suffering all around

You see the struggles and listen to the pain in the cries and the screams

And yet you got lucky and had the good life, the one that everyone wanted

The happenings still alive in your memory, “the good times”

The one stretch of life where nothing could go wrong or knock you sideways

You remember all of the good times and happy hugs and kisses

The memories of holidays and wishes coming true, a smile on your face

Then remember you got the things that you wanted while others went without

Those thoughts now bring guilt onto the mind and heart

Every wish that was granted stings with selfishness

Every present that was opened feels the weight of denial now

To have so much and give so little should be wrong but felt so right

Torn ……not able to determine what is real and what is emotion run wild, you fight off thought and attempts at logic

Hiding in the black recesses of your mind, away from twisted logic that is coerced by overbearing emotions

Moving forward, sad that you can’t share in the happiness you once had

Now only able to provide for yourself and think about survival

The survival you didn’t know was a game that was played behind your back

Your parents the players and you the unaware audience

Played over your head where the words couldn’t reach you in a code unbreakable

Sheltered and kept safe in the world that is created for you and around you

Never knowing that there was something more until you had to grow up

Now there is a whole new world that you need to explore with a blindfold on

Never knowing what is going on in this place that you have rented in the world

Traveling down roads that lead to sweet new discoveries, or to dead ends,

Never knowing which until you arrive, the only way to solve the puzzle is to keep on guessing

Always looking around the corner, not able to see through the trees

Watching as the colors change and steps get closer to the cliff

The outcome still unknown but seems to be a light, a general goal is finally set

The finish line can’t be far beyond, as you hope that one day you’ll be creating the protective world around another

The protective bubble, you can only hope the happiness comes without the price

No overbearing guilt in the next generation, but only appreciation and joy

Nothing taken for granted but never left wanting in the cold, waiting for things to go right

Now only wanting something better, to give something more to those who come next into the unforeseen world.