I’m rather sad that it turns out that all of those people who have always said, let it be known that the people you love the most can hurt you the most and I guess that is one of those lessons that sometimes a person has to learn over and over again for themselves the hard way before it sinks in.  Sometimes the most vivid and nerve wrecking pain comes from simply being forgotten, no dirty words, no violence, simply forgotten as if you never existed to them in the first place.  When you realize that, maybe, just maybe your idea of what the relationship you were involved in, no matter what that might  be, friendship, family, or romantic, when the thought comes crashing into your denial that just maybe you were wrong and that the other person never really cared about you, it’s like getting slammed up against a brick wall by a gust of wind.  Wind because you can’t touch it, it can’t hear you cuss it out, you don’t even really know if that’s what happened since there isn’t any evidence except the pain that you’re left feeling in the dark, deep despair.  On edge and anxious, not knowing what’s happening around you.  Are you being too clingy?  Expecting too much?  Or maybe, these thoughts that are seeping in have been the truth the whole time….is there any way to know?  To gain clarity?  All of these questions of WHY and no answers coming your way, you just want to know the truth, but you’re left lost in no man’s land…not sure what’s going on now, what’s really happened in the past, or where everything is headed for the future.  You wonder if you’re feelings are valid, or if you are in so far you can’t see that you’re being irrational.  You wonder if you’re going crazy.  You wonder if you can feel anything without breaking down.  You shut down so that you don’t explode from the pain.