Shining Thru

Looking at the stars, feeling all alone,

From the start, not knowing where the finish line is

How can you line up for the end when you don’t know where it’s marked?

How can you head in the right direction when you can’t see the guiding stars?

The stars brilliantly bright one minute and then covered in gray clouds the next.

Quickly fleeting, the only comfort and support is gone in the blink of an eye.

Not knowing when or where, not knowing how long or how much…

Only knowing that you’re here, not sure if anyone notices or not.

Knowing you’re alone in what you stand to do

Not knowing if there will be another beside you or behind you

Will they push you forward or stab you in the back, bringing you to a halt?

The stars peek out twinkling long enough for a glimmer of hope…

Before they disappear back into the world of the unknown

Your world is here, as much as you would like to be up there looking down

Your world is not shared but here and now

Your world is under the stars, and praying they wont leave you too

Your world is here…….where will you go?

Do you ever feel like everyone is laughing and you don’t know why, or just the opposite, that you just said something very clever that NOBODY else in the room understands?  Inside jokes are an interesting thing, it always make somebody feel like they are out of the loop and generally they can’t even be explained to the people properly who weren’t there when they originated, because it just isn’t as funny in the retelling.  But it always seems like once you get somebody that gets it and is in on it with you, you can go back and forth for a very long time.  Sometimes it’s just something as simple as if they’ve seen the movie that you’re referencing and sometimes as complicated as one of those LONG nights that just didn’t seem to end, and turns into 20 different stories by the next day. 

A lot of the time, I think some people take inside jokes too seriously, not that I haven’t been that person that didn’t know why everyone was laughing except me, but it’s nothing to get offended over.  Most people have inside jokes and have left other people out of the loop at one time or another.  It’s not done to be nasty, but it does happen. 

Personally, I love it when I can go back and forth referencing something with someone.   I find it entertaining.  And it’s funny how you can work in lines from movies or commercials into random conversations that really have nothing to do with the original context of the lines.

Funny how a picture can look so clear when developed in black and white.  No distracting colors, only angles and shapes.  Everything is so clear in black and white, no doubt about what’s what.  Very little shades of gray, just black and white.  Wouldn’t it be nice if everything in life were like one of the crisp pictures, if everything in life were this clearly cut, nothing but black and white….as it is, we are stuck wondering around in the shades of gray, some darker than others, some stretching close to white, but not quite pure and clear.  All of the things that are in the land of the in between…no clear answers, nothing that is delivered without a catch, everyone always wondering what is going to happen next, even the most carefully planned routine can be disrupted with something completely unexpected.  Walking and thinking, wishing you were in the land of the photograph.  A land of peace and clarity, but that isn’t reality, that is a dream land that is just out of reach, even in our sleep…haunted by all of the “undecisions”.  All of the choices that have been left unmade.  Waiting for another day, hoping for a day of less gray, maybe just a little more clear cut black and white.

I know that “ignorance is strength” seems like a contradiction, I mean we are taught that our power comes from our education which is true…however, if you look back at history it is always the ignorant and people of the lowest class, generally also the largest class, that are used to actually fight the wars and the revolutions.  It takes someone who is not ignorant to get plant the seed of knowledge, but when you are ignorant you allow yourself to be open to only the knowledge that someone you trust wants you to know.

This quote comes from one of my favorite books, 1984, it is an excellent book that truly shows how the people with the knowledge control the people of ignorance with that knowledge and how much of it they choose to tell those who do not know.  In the book they take away words because if you take away words, you have no way of expressing your thoughts, and if you cannot express your thoughts, you eventually will have no thoughts.  They also always provide someone for the people to hate, because in finding someone to hate outside of their society, they provide something for the people to unite in.

I think that this book is an exact guide to taking over the people of society….and if you look at a lot of these things, it’s kind of scary how much of it resembles our society today.  How easily people will believe anything they see in the news, how ready the media is to give someone to hate.  And our younger generation is taking care of the destruction of language ….. so there’s not a whole lot left except to have big brother watching and take away all privacy, which eventually eliminates the feelings between people.

If people are not free to think and feel whatever comes naturally, they are in the power of those people who are controlling their inner selves.

Standing here in the face-off circle

Eyes connecting – calm face – racing minds

Separated by empty space

Only filled with the tensions of the game of life

Who’s move?  What’s next?

Can we finish with out a Cat’s Game?

Questions of the rules

Was there a mistake?

Every move reexamined …

From Start to Finish – we missed something

We must have missed something….

There must be something…some way to win

Snapped back into reality by the next move

Exactly what I thought….still in a stalemate

What are they thinking?

Why press on?  Why continue on in this state?

We continue to play for the love of the game…..eyes locked

Stress and tension building

Glances and Grimaces ….did I miss their move?

Do they look worried or relieved?

Did I miss my chance?  Did they  and I haven’t seen it?

Is that relief?  Did I miss my opportunity?

Did I miss the way in?  What’s the strategy?

How will this come out?  Or do we continue on with Stalemate?

I think it’s strange how some things can really catch you off guard, something completely out of the routine, it wasn’t suppose to happen or maybe something completely out of character for you or a person around you.  Something that is obviously not apart of the normal every day life that you are use to learning.  It’s also a little ironic how so many people complain about how boring their lives are….until something out of the ordinary does happen, something that wasn’t expected and wasn’t really wanted…..

Maybe an illness or an out of control car, either way they were equally unexpected and something that you would rather have your normal day over any time.  It would be nice if when your car starts to twist and turn on the road and you pray that no one else is around you on the slick surface that you could just go ahead and make the switch back to the tedious day that you dreaded going through the day before…or as you’re laying in bed coughing, you could just get up and go back to the routine of work and daily chores.

Some surprises are wonderful and the unexpected can really be exhilarating, some change to the monotony of  the change can be a wonderful thing that can really make you feel happy and free from the daily grime.  Sometimes something that catches you off guard can change your entire week, month, or even life….you never know what’s going to come your way, good, bad, or otherwise.