Shining Thru

Swirling of the soul suddenly stops

Mirrored images of fairies and princesses fade away with the laughter and smiles

Disappearing and growing into reality

Escape of books and imagination becoming a distant memory

As you watch the little girl rise into womanhood through the trials of life

Facts of existence becoming authentic as the woman develops within

Seeing the new reflection of the eyes staring back at you, you realize

New feelings and emotions suppressing the old

Now and forever having to show the validity of the adult

No longer free to spin, dance, and play

No longer free to relax into a tea party or sing without shame

Having to let go of the carefree existence you once knew as reality

Can’t continue to converse with the good friends that dolls and teddy bears become

Sitting alone on the shelf as you wallpaper and paint over the kittens and bows

Not only the walls of the room changing but the inside of the girl

Looking into a world no longer full of innocence, no longer a peaceful sight

Only able to appreciate the occasional break in the clouds

To see the sun and remember the days that the princess was alive and well

When magical fairies were able to roam around the yard as you put on a show of delight for all of those around

Delight in the smile and laughing eyes of the innocent and true joy

The small moments of passion and love that take you back to a feeling of bliss unhindered by life’s existence

I have to wonder if kids today even know classic fairy tales, it seems to me that the media sources that we encourage today do everything in their power to distort the original work.  Like many things these days, it’s not what it use to be.  Fairy tales have been altered, and I don’t always think that’s a bad thing.  I think it might be a good thing to put Cinderella into a modern story line, even if it doesn’t carry some of the mystery that I feel comes with reading or watching about another time period, it might make little girls find the story more believable and inspire them to think it could be them one day, which I’m also not saying is a good or bad thing.  I think that we already entice our youth enough into believing that they can have or do anything that they want, but that’s for another post.

Sometimes I think Hollywood gets carried away by trying to make the younger generations interested in classic fairy tales by adding violence and cursing and just other extremes that take away from the innocence that was once found in nursery rhymes and fairy tales.  Maybe we want to see the happy ever after without feeling like we are watching a Shakespearean tragedy because dead bodies are covering the floor of the closing scene.  Maybe some of us like reading about the innocent love that the young couple is blinded into thinking will be perfect.

There are plays and movies out there like “Into the Woods,”  which I personally enjoy, but wouldn’t watch every day because it takes away the happy ever after part of the fairy tale that makes you feel good at the end of it.  Should we encourage such idealistic ideas in our children today?  Or should we push that it’s a harsh reality?

Sometimes unforeseen things come our way

Casting plans aside, insisting on instant attention

Sometimes a person, accident, storm, anything

Sometimes they are positive things that we want to spare the time for

Sometimes Not

A great chance at something wonderful

Butterflies, Rainbows and Waterfalls

All coming at you in an instant

Beauty and Fear, New things and Old

All unforeseen in the future of your life

Moving through life with the sting of the stare

Always seeing, always wondering, what’s behind the whisper

The noisy confusion of the whispered gossip that blares out from behind closed doors

The static that surrounds you as you move in closer to listen, convincing yourself you don’t care

You keep on walking, Keep on moving so that nothing can catch up

Traveling over bridges built just to be burned, explosions of the mind deafening the bruises that glisten on the skin

Leaving destruction in your wake as you move through this life

Not knowing where you are going or when it will end

You keep on moving, avoiding what you cannot understand

The blend of people mingling all around you and yet not one of them sincere

Deceit the tool of their survival as they mold to fit the status quo

Fitting the latest movement of their life, no matter what it means for the mountains that fall on top of you

As you run, shuffle, crawl, forge, and sprint ahead trying to escape what will always be there

Moving through the life that was once dead

The tears that you bled, only create the next river that needs to be crossed

Setting up the scene for the next bridge to be built

The next relationship formed,

Keep on moving, no one will stop for you, no one moving aside, only merging

Once in awhile you’ll catch a waiting hand to help pull you up

But once you’re up you need to continue to move through the tough and the rough

Happy times remembered with a guilty conscience as you see the suffering all around

You see the struggles and listen to the pain in the cries and the screams

And yet you got lucky and had the good life, the one that everyone wanted

The happenings still alive in your memory, “the good times”

The one stretch of life where nothing could go wrong or knock you sideways

You remember all of the good times and happy hugs and kisses

The memories of holidays and wishes coming true, a smile on your face

Then remember you got the things that you wanted while others went without

Those thoughts now bring guilt onto the mind and heart

Every wish that was granted stings with selfishness

Every present that was opened feels the weight of denial now

To have so much and give so little should be wrong but felt so right

Torn ……not able to determine what is real and what is emotion run wild, you fight off thought and attempts at logic

Hiding in the black recesses of your mind, away from twisted logic that is coerced by overbearing emotions

Moving forward, sad that you can’t share in the happiness you once had

Now only able to provide for yourself and think about survival

The survival you didn’t know was a game that was played behind your back

Your parents the players and you the unaware audience

Played over your head where the words couldn’t reach you in a code unbreakable

Sheltered and kept safe in the world that is created for you and around you

Never knowing that there was something more until you had to grow up

Now there is a whole new world that you need to explore with a blindfold on

Never knowing what is going on in this place that you have rented in the world

Traveling down roads that lead to sweet new discoveries, or to dead ends,

Never knowing which until you arrive, the only way to solve the puzzle is to keep on guessing

Always looking around the corner, not able to see through the trees

Watching as the colors change and steps get closer to the cliff

The outcome still unknown but seems to be a light, a general goal is finally set

The finish line can’t be far beyond, as you hope that one day you’ll be creating the protective world around another

The protective bubble, you can only hope the happiness comes without the price

No overbearing guilt in the next generation, but only appreciation and joy

Nothing taken for granted but never left wanting in the cold, waiting for things to go right

Now only wanting something better, to give something more to those who come next into the unforeseen world.

Always have to be brave and look out for the others

Always have to stay quiet and keep the secrets locked behind closed doors

Not wanting to upset the others you stay quiet and smile

Give hugs at night and always be brave

No monsters will get you little ones you say….and think, not while I’m here to keep them at bay

Standing guard you brace yourself for the sacrifice of another night

No sweet dreams for you as the others are set free in the darkness

Your nightmare is only beginning, as the stars glisten in from the window

The door creeks but it is not the monster in the closet, but the one down the hall

Calling out in a whisper, you pray that it will only come after you again this night

When it’s over the filth is the only reminder that the others are safe and you did your part

You kept the secret for another night but the knife feels heavier under your pillow

you grip the cool handle and wait…….

At school the others look at you, as if they know you’re hiding behind your face

Something more than the honor roll is held up inside the book sack that you carry

Getting through every day with straight A’s only gets you ignored

By your peers, teachers, counselors, and more

Traveling home on the bus, you sit in the same seat and stare at the same streets

You offer a smile up to a boy that walks towards the back but the icy gaze halts the march

He sits, back turned, out of sight out of mind the world keeps turning in denial

Look back outside the last hope of emotional expression cleared from your heart

You stare and wait………..

The houses fly by until you see the one you are suppose to call home

Not knowing what’s waiting inside you go ahead with the bravery that has become self sacrifice

The fake smiles and hugs as you enter into the chaos that awaits

Dinner burning, dirty floors and faces all around

Having to grow up and leave the past you push forward ever standing

Bracing yourself you move ahead, not allowing yourself to look back

Not wanting to think about what’s in the shadows that will follow

Looking only at what’s there, the only thing that’s real

You slip under the covers and again begin to pray

Reaching around the cool handle….you wait……

Years go by, never stopping to ask why

never stopping to wonder if you were alone

Never stopping to let someone in on the pain

Never expecting anyone else to stop and offer a bone

Dealing withe scraps of life that fate had sent and lent……You wait……..

Always moving forward with the bravery that was learned so long ago

embedded into your very being of survival

no one knows what awaits them under your shadowy mind

As it is overcome with the years of grief and turmoil

You go on waiting, hoping, but never quitting….never turning back.

Until at last you can’t see the end, for the earth no longer has a drop off

You can see that it is an every lasting circle of hurt and affliction

The circle that has only one possible solution, only one that you can see to make it stop

The knife is still there all these years later and you realize that it was never met for another

It was always for you, only meant for you, the only way to end the wait

Trusting people is an interesting thing….you can’t really have close relationships, sexual or otherwise without the foundation of trust…and yet people throw it away as if it was dirty laundry.  You have to wonder if maybe you have given the gift of trust away to easily, and haven’t held the proper interviews….a bunch of things happen when you realize that something that you thought was there really isn’t and maybe never was.

Do you go on trusting people and risking being hurt, and betrayed or keep everything tight up inside and never let anyone in?

What happens when you are no longer sure what friendship means?  Or relationship?  What happens when you don’t know how you should interact with people because you just don’t know what could happen in the future.  I’m sure some people would argue that you need to treasure the time that you have and feel blessed that you had certain people in your life at all…but then what happens when that is suddenly taken from you, no warning, no goodbye, just gone….leaving the empty footsteps in the wake, just waiting to disappear with the wind.  It’s easy to say that  you just want to treasure the time that you have, until that time is gone, and then you have to realize that things are not always that simple.  I think, more times than not, people find themselves wanting that friendship, or that relationship back, if for nothing else, so they can feel that trust they thought they shared with the person again.  Even most friendships have an emotional connection that comes tumbling down when the people separate.

More than likely, the emptiness will fill again if you let it, but of course that leaves the opportunity open for history to repeat itself once again.  So you have to make the decision, do you allow yourself the chance to get hurt and accept new friends into your life, or do you hold back and keep to yourself to never feel the betrayal of a friend shutting you out?

A walk through the woods not able to see through the leaves

Trying to see the sun and the light

Stuck int he shadows and darkness

Just enough light to play tricks on your eyes

Seeing things that are wondering around in the mist of fiction and storybooks

Reality catching up with you when you turn the corner

Enclosed in darkness once again just when you thought you had reached the clearing

Not even light to see your foot path

Just the specs in tree tops

Nothing reaching the bottom of the woods

Nothing reaching the path you so desperately want to see

Looking but not seeing where you are headed

Hoping you will recognize something soon.

The thrill of a new experience, the excitement of the build up and anticipation

Leave you wondering what will happen next, all the possibilities race through your mind before you have time to latch onto one of those threads

A sense of trust and wonder overwhelm all other senses as you make your way through the moment

Fumbling through, absorbing everything into the whole body

Feelings and emotions flowing through the passion of love and pure elation

The warmth of the other half of your soul found in the body next to yours

Evidence of the mutual passionate bliss in their eyes, mind, body, and heart

Glowing radiation of the new experience shared and enjoyed

A memory that cannot be erased or forgotten

Something to replay in the recesses of the mind

Something to give power and strength as you are reminded of the love and passion

Reality blurred into the wondrous fabrication of peaceful passion

Living, Breathing…but not thinking or feeling

Pull the string and watch them say the programed phrases

Keep on watching as they march across the room

Living on in the program of society

Not able to change the ones and zeroes that surround us

Watching them makes you sad

You check the reflection of your mind

Not watching to turn into plastic

Not wanting to turn into something fake

Not willing to give up the emotions of life

The hurt and the frustration are traded for love and happiness

Tears of joy replace those of saddness

Giving up the pain isn’t worth giving up the power of thought

The power of knowledge and experience

The love and life that you would miss out on