Shining Thru

How much would you give up for someone that you love?  Your money?  Your property?  Your time?  You life?  How much would you expect someone to sacrifice for you?  Can you really count on anyone to give up anything for you?  Are their certain people that you know without a doubt you would do absolutely anything for?  Your children?  Your siblings?  Your parents?  Your wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend?  Who is it that you know you would do anything for because their happiness and well-being are more important to you then your own.  Or maybe there isn’t anyone that you feel that way about.  What would it be like to never love someone above yourself?  I feel bad for people who don’t ever get to experience that feeling because they are too self involved or too selfish to let another person get that high in their affections.  It’s really sad when you see that people who you think wouldn’t have a problem doing what’s right for the ones that they love, turn their back on them when they are in need, or go to absolute extremes, not thinking about the consequences for the very person they are trying to protect.

Up and down, left or right….which direction do you go?

Walking down the path, least desired rocky path you were forced onto.

The path of least resistance is not always the easiest

Sometimes stumbling along because you can see the way

Climbing on the rocks and tripping in the grass, slipping on the moss

Sometimes just going forward to avoid the crowd, sometimes going with the flow of the crowd

Not wanting to get stomped in the stampede,

Sometimes going off the path all together

Sometimes because of needing a moment alone,

Sometimes because of shouldering and elbows.

Needing to go forward, not sure if you want to push on into the wilderness

Unknown territory with no designated ending….just walking on

Go back to the easy path?  Cross over to a different path?

Stay here and continue walking on?

Thinking about or ignoring the decision, doesn’t matter…

It’s still there, and you’re still walking on…ever perpetual

I was browsing the internet the other day and ran across this website http://www.donothingfor2minutes.com/ Now, what’s interesting about this website is that it exists at all.  If you go to this website, it challenges you to do nothing but relax for two minutes, and there is a clock that counts down.  I would really like to know how many times people fail before they get to the end of their two minutes.  It’s not even like the computer would know if you did things that didn’t involve the computer, but I am willing to bet that most people cannot just sit there and listen to the soothing wave soundtrack they have playing on the site for two minutes without touching the keyboard or mouse.

I really think that we have gotten to the point where we are always multitasking or on the move in our society.  I am torn between thinking that is a good thing or a bad thing.  But if you think about it, I think it is pretty true for almost everyone I know.  We are either watching tv while we work, or listening to music AND talking on the phone AND driving AND drinking coffee.    How often do we just take the time to relax, or even just do one thing at a time any more?

Inspiration can come from the most unexpected places.  Sometimes you can search for a muse or inspiration for years or even life times and never find it, but than once you relax and just live life, and inspiration can hit you on your head.  What if you never figure out what you want to be when you grow up?  What if you make your way through life, being very successful, but never really happy.  Never really sure if you are doing the right thing.  People can find inspiration in some of the strangest or smallest, seemingly insignificant things.

I think many people follow a path because it was the first one they came to and they worked hard to advance on it….but sometimes we have to give that up and realize that it’s not what we want for ourselves at all.  Starting over can be hard, but it can also make all of the difference in a person’s life.

If inspiration takes you somewhere you should go with it.  Sometimes it seems like a ridiculous idea but it can happen if you want it to.

Confusion pressing down

Clamping on as you feel the walls cave

Relationships spinning

People yelling

No where quiet

No where peaceful

Confusion of the system

Of the society

Nobody looking

Nobody laughing

Just chaos

The white bleakness blurs the window as you try to peer outside

The sunny south today, is nothing but a lie

Putting all hopes of the sun coming out aside

Not knowing how to proceed, not being able to leave

Stuck inside and alone, the gray sky all you can see

Sitting down with a movie and a cup of tea

Trying to cheer up and enjoy the time off

Pulling the pillow close and embracing how soft

The boredom growing tough

All alone and nothing but the white fuzz outside

Nobody coming by

Nobody would even try

Too dangerous on these unknown roads

People not use to the ice and the cold

Going out is only for the bold

Being safe and keeping warm

Nothing today is true to form

Who could have saw this storm?

Stepping back through the looking glass

Alice got slapped in the face with the harshness of reality

As she spun around to get back in, the door was closed, and rejection set in

Stuck in a cruel world without an escape, knowing something more fanciful is out there

Knowing that there is another place where the impossible becomes reality

By a simple change of perspective as the reflection is reversed

Stepping behind the glass and into a world of imagination

Holding fast to the untrue beliefs that got her this far

Everything became upside down and backwards, in a whirlwind of disbelief

But stuck in the middle of the new reality of the unreal

Wanting nothing more but to get back into the world of make believe

A world where anything you wanted could happen

She pounded on the glass, begging to come back to the strange world with stranger ways

She yelled and hollered for them to let her back in…..but nothing happened

Realizing it was useless, she turned to face the facts

Facts that a few minutes ago were ridiculous and easily proved wrong, now governed her again

Wishing she were back, but accepting that she’s not, she walked on

Into the world of rules and reality, where the perspective is back tot he straight and the narrow

The confusion and the silence set in, but she is back into her world and can never step back over again.

I hear the footsteps on the walkway and my heart skips a beat

I think maybe you came to surprise me, maybe you’re be here to hold me

I hear a car drive by and wonder if I will be coming to you soon

I wonder if you have forgotten me or just gotten busy

It’s so hard to tell what’s going on, once your life is linked to another person.  You don’t know what they are doing or where they are, what’s going on with them personally, you can only see what they allow you to see.  It doesn’t matter what kind of a relationship it is:  professional, romantic, family, or friend….it’s all the same when it comes to wondering where you fit into another’s plans.  You can only know what you see and feel and hear and at generally all three of those things are subjective and can’t be trusted.  Whenever there is another person thrown into the mix of your life, there will be some change, some doubt, some of everything that you can think of.  You might feel betrayed just to find out that it wasn’t at all what it looked like from the outside…you might feel loved when it wasn’t their intention to lead you on, but just to care about you as a friend.  You may feel as though you are unimportant and pushed aside, just to find out that something major had come up, that would automatically cancel any plans with any sane person.

Then you begin to feel the guilt because your initial feelings were wrong and raw.  You let emotion strip away your logic once again and spent a night feeling lonely and sad and hurt, when in reality there was nothing to feel bad about.  It’s hard to know what is what when another person is involved.  Linking your life to another is a big decision that takes a lot of dedication.  It also takes a great deal of patience and compromise.  We all have our own thoughts, and we have to realize that what we are thinking and feeling is also not going to be apparent to those we are linked with.  Sometimes we find ourselves making the same mistakes with our loved ones that when they do it, it drives us crazy.  We have to remember that just as we cannot read their minds, they cannot read ours as well.

Sometimes it’s hard to open yourself up enough to be linked with another person, all of the confusion, and pain, and wide range of emotion that goes with it.  But I feel that the love and comfort overrules those things once you find the right person to be linked with.

It’s amazing how tired you can get just from every day life.  I see people running from here to there with their children, have gooey, jelly finger prints on their back from where they carried their baby into the daycare that morning.  Tired circles under every one’s eyes, moving a long, up early from children, chores, or driving to work, gotta get there early and keep it moving.  It’s something our society has trained us as important….or at least with some people.  Some people don’t have a choice, they have to line everything up right and hope that nothing goes wrong, because one thing can throw their whole routine and therefore their whole day off.  The routines of our lives wear on us, bearing down the reality of life and responsibility.  It’s kind of funny when you’re little, very few children ever realize what kind of things their parents have to consider just to make the household work.  You can’t wait to grow up and be one of the adults and then we you become an adult, you long for the days that you could take a nap in the middle of the day and not have to worry about what chores and other things aren’t getting done in the meantime.
Being an adult and having to deal with everything that comes the way of your house or your job, no matter if you are directly involved or not…it is still something you have to deal with.  All of the decisions of every day life start to wear on you until you are distracted from the things that you like to do and enjoy about life because you are too caught up doing the different things that have to be done, and every time you cross one thing off of the list it seems like three more things get added.
It seems like there is just too much to do and not enough time to do it in, especially if you want any kind of social life, or just down time to relax.  In today’s society, I don’t know how some people balance everything that they are a part of along with the regular house chores and family life.  Some of these people have every family member in their household as a member or participant of three, four, five different things…plus school, work, church, etc.  That just seems crazy to me.  It’s hard enough for a single person to have a social life and keep up with work, much less someone with children.
As we move through life, growing up and figuring out that there are many more responsibilities than I ever thought possible as a little kid.  I didn’t realize at the time why parents worked long hours or multiple jobs.  So much is based around money and you have to have a side hustle just to make ends meet.
I have to wonder why we work so hard just to keep afloat in life, but we don’t really have a choice, or at least not options that most of us would choose when it comes down to working hard or being homeless…just just keep it moving and make the sacrifices on the personal level.

Lost and confused in the whirling winds of the crowd

Lost in thoughts and conversation with all of those around

Swirling through the madness of the confusion of others

Surrounded by the every day happenings that come your way

Never knowing what will be done or said

Moving along trying to make sense of it all

Blind to what emotions may be in play, you’re left to guess

False Assumptions that lead to false conclusions

Stumbling through the day, transferring from one thing to the next

Trying to understand what will come next when there is no way of telling

No way of seeing the pattern through the mist, never knowing what’s approaching

Just keep looking and moving through the confusion of people and life