Shining Thru

I love you like the sunrise on a cool crisp morning

Brisk, sudden, and joyful as the dew hitting bare feet running across the morning lawn

Like the sunrise you bring a smile to my face, no matter previous feelings

No matter what the problem you always make me happy

Just seeing your face lightens my day

I feel the rays of our love shine through me

I can feel my face glow and eyes shine when I hear you come through the door

Your love is powerful and enduring just like the sunrise.

Riding on the creaky carts through the twisted maze

Up and down, fast and slow through the dark, misty haze.

Bright lights flashing, quick spin, turned around

Now where are you going, trapped and bound?

Not having a choice you get off at the next stop

People start arriving as you stare at the empty lot.

Not quite understanding you know they are watching

Suspicious of the the quick glances and fake smiles towards where you are standing.

You move slowly through the ever thickening crowd,

Strangely enough still only quiet murmurs are heard, but you think it should be loud.

All these people quietly standing around, no screaming

As a new kind of cart pulls up beaming.

This one is not on the roller coaster track

This one could go where it likes and never bring you back.

All of the sudden a gun appears and a forceful hand

You look around, but cannot avoid it, in the cart you land.

Holding on, not knowing what to do, floating in this cart up above

Waiting for something to happen, others enter the cart with a shove.

And then we are off back into the gathering darkness outside the platform

Back to being chased and riddles to answer at passages, back where the chaos swarms.

Fire burning
Tears stinging
Walking on egg shells again
Tip toe tip toe
Don’t let your emotions show
Brave strong and loving
That is all that is allowed
Quick turn away
Don’t let them see
You’ve been crying again
Hurt and torn
You can’t seem forlorn
Rushing in
Smiles quick
And hugs that bring the love
Never showing
Don’t let them know
The pain and grief you feel

Surrounded by the constant noise and chaos

You look out into the blizzard of reality

Holding back you don’t want to step forward

Holding on you don’t want to fall again

Trying to breathe and calm down the panic that’s rising

Trying to beat back the anxieties and fears

We reach for the one closest and dearest

Hoping that they will reach back and hold us

Needing that love and comfort we wait with open arms

Ready to nestle into the soft gratification of loving passion

We know that you’re there and aren’t leaving

We know that you came when asked for

We realize that Love is the strong netting of our lives.

The rose petals fall one by one leaving only the thorned handle

You grab it and it pricks the blood from you hand

You throw it but it sticks, you stomp it into the dirt

And turn to walk away but….stop, looking back, now nearly destroyed

The memories of the beautiful petals remain, the vibrant colors in your mind

The soft, perfumed beauty that the stem once held

Seeing what’s left in the dirt makes you pick it up

Feeling the blood pricked once again

Not able to put it back down

Not able to throw it away and begin again

Wishing you could watch it bloom into the beautiful flower it once was

You save it…carrying it…holding it….wishing

Confusion pressing down

Clamping on as you feel the walls cave

Relationships spinning

People yelling

No where quiet

No where peaceful

Confusion of the system

Of the society

Nobody looking

Nobody laughing

Just chaos

Stepping back through the looking glass

Alice got slapped in the face with the harshness of reality

As she spun around to get back in, the door was closed, and rejection set in

Stuck in a cruel world without an escape, knowing something more fanciful is out there

Knowing that there is another place where the impossible becomes reality

By a simple change of perspective as the reflection is reversed

Stepping behind the glass and into a world of imagination

Holding fast to the untrue beliefs that got her this far

Everything became upside down and backwards, in a whirlwind of disbelief

But stuck in the middle of the new reality of the unreal

Wanting nothing more but to get back into the world of make believe

A world where anything you wanted could happen

She pounded on the glass, begging to come back to the strange world with stranger ways

She yelled and hollered for them to let her back in…..but nothing happened

Realizing it was useless, she turned to face the facts

Facts that a few minutes ago were ridiculous and easily proved wrong, now governed her again

Wishing she were back, but accepting that she’s not, she walked on

Into the world of rules and reality, where the perspective is back tot he straight and the narrow

The confusion and the silence set in, but she is back into her world and can never step back over again.

Looking at the stars, feeling all alone,

From the start, not knowing where the finish line is

How can you line up for the end when you don’t know where it’s marked?

How can you head in the right direction when you can’t see the guiding stars?

The stars brilliantly bright one minute and then covered in gray clouds the next.

Quickly fleeting, the only comfort and support is gone in the blink of an eye.

Not knowing when or where, not knowing how long or how much…

Only knowing that you’re here, not sure if anyone notices or not.

Knowing you’re alone in what you stand to do

Not knowing if there will be another beside you or behind you

Will they push you forward or stab you in the back, bringing you to a halt?

The stars peek out twinkling long enough for a glimmer of hope…

Before they disappear back into the world of the unknown

Your world is here, as much as you would like to be up there looking down

Your world is not shared but here and now

Your world is under the stars, and praying they wont leave you too

Your world is here…….where will you go?

Standing here in the face-off circle

Eyes connecting – calm face – racing minds

Separated by empty space

Only filled with the tensions of the game of life

Who’s move?  What’s next?

Can we finish with out a Cat’s Game?

Questions of the rules

Was there a mistake?

Every move reexamined …

From Start to Finish – we missed something

We must have missed something….

There must be something…some way to win

Snapped back into reality by the next move

Exactly what I thought….still in a stalemate

What are they thinking?

Why press on?  Why continue on in this state?

We continue to play for the love of the game…..eyes locked

Stress and tension building

Glances and Grimaces ….did I miss their move?

Do they look worried or relieved?

Did I miss my chance?  Did they  and I haven’t seen it?

Is that relief?  Did I miss my opportunity?

Did I miss the way in?  What’s the strategy?

How will this come out?  Or do we continue on with Stalemate?

The darkness and the storm sneak in, closer and closer, to capture you where you can’t lay in peace, ever haunted by the thoughts and emotions floating aimlessly in the mind ready to strike just as you feel a peaceful moment approaching.  The emotions swirling into a tornado of thundering loudness within the mind, the lightning strikes the nerves that are attached to the feelings they are pulling on, blowing in, consuming….A devouring presence that refuses to be ignored as you sit and squirm and spin, trying to release yourself from the icy steal hold.  The candle flame flickers as your only light tries to stay alive under the covers of the storm, the clouds chilling your bones.  As you don’t want to see but look anyway, curiosity overcoming your good judgment you see the nightmare come alive.