Shining Thru

How much would you give up for someone that you love?  Your money?  Your property?  Your time?  You life?  How much would you expect someone to sacrifice for you?  Can you really count on anyone to give up anything for you?  Are their certain people that you know without a doubt you would do absolutely anything for?  Your children?  Your siblings?  Your parents?  Your wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend?  Who is it that you know you would do anything for because their happiness and well-being are more important to you then your own.  Or maybe there isn’t anyone that you feel that way about.  What would it be like to never love someone above yourself?  I feel bad for people who don’t ever get to experience that feeling because they are too self involved or too selfish to let another person get that high in their affections.  It’s really sad when you see that people who you think wouldn’t have a problem doing what’s right for the ones that they love, turn their back on them when they are in need, or go to absolute extremes, not thinking about the consequences for the very person they are trying to protect.

Watching The Way of the Gun was a very interesting two hours, if  you haven’t seen it, I recommend it.  It brought up some interesting points, such as the natural order that the world is suppose to have.  It got me thinking about the possibility of a natural order, I’ve never really thought about it before.  The natural order of things that is described in the movie is a very balanced mix of the fairytale lives that we are all told about in books and movies and then reality.

“There is a natural order. The way things are meant to be. An order that says the good guys always win, that you die when it’s your time or when you have it coming, that the ending is always happy-if only for someone else.”

This statement is the most realistic I have ever heard about happy endings, sometimes it’s just not happy for you.  Now I’m wondering if Darwin was on to something or if we have completely ruled out the natural law of only the strongest survive…..It’s an interesting thought, and it also raises the question of strength of what, body, mind, character?  All different attributes that at one time or another have their uses to aid in the survival process.  Do only the strong survive?  Or do we cater to the weak now to the point that it would be better for a person to be weak, because they would then get attention from others?  Same thing with animals, people are more likely today to stop and help a hurt animal than a strong, healthy, lost animal.  If we are completely ignoring the law of nature to build off of the strongest, are we effectively changing the law of nature?  Or have our actions just not met with the consequences yet?  Or even still, are we simply ignoring the consequences that have arisen from use battling out nature?  Do the good guys always win?  Do the bad guys always meet with justice?  I think anyone with access to the evening news would have to say no…that isn’t the way that it is.  Was it ever that way?

Riding on the creaky carts through the twisted maze

Up and down, fast and slow through the dark, misty haze.

Bright lights flashing, quick spin, turned around

Now where are you going, trapped and bound?

Not having a choice you get off at the next stop

People start arriving as you stare at the empty lot.

Not quite understanding you know they are watching

Suspicious of the the quick glances and fake smiles towards where you are standing.

You move slowly through the ever thickening crowd,

Strangely enough still only quiet murmurs are heard, but you think it should be loud.

All these people quietly standing around, no screaming

As a new kind of cart pulls up beaming.

This one is not on the roller coaster track

This one could go where it likes and never bring you back.

All of the sudden a gun appears and a forceful hand

You look around, but cannot avoid it, in the cart you land.

Holding on, not knowing what to do, floating in this cart up above

Waiting for something to happen, others enter the cart with a shove.

And then we are off back into the gathering darkness outside the platform

Back to being chased and riddles to answer at passages, back where the chaos swarms.

Up and down, left or right….which direction do you go?

Walking down the path, least desired rocky path you were forced onto.

The path of least resistance is not always the easiest

Sometimes stumbling along because you can see the way

Climbing on the rocks and tripping in the grass, slipping on the moss

Sometimes just going forward to avoid the crowd, sometimes going with the flow of the crowd

Not wanting to get stomped in the stampede,

Sometimes going off the path all together

Sometimes because of needing a moment alone,

Sometimes because of shouldering and elbows.

Needing to go forward, not sure if you want to push on into the wilderness

Unknown territory with no designated ending….just walking on

Go back to the easy path?  Cross over to a different path?

Stay here and continue walking on?

Thinking about or ignoring the decision, doesn’t matter…

It’s still there, and you’re still walking on…ever perpetual

The waves crash over head and pull you towards the bottom simultaneously.  Further and Further out, don’t let he panic set it, keep fighting towards the light.  Reaching and pulling the water down but not moving, no match for the strength of the towing force.  Never dreaming this would be the end, the panic starts to rise up, suppressing it long enough to realize you need to keep the air in your lungs and not in the water.  Starting to choke as the air slowly seeps out, praying for release from the tide below, only wanting to join the laughter of the friends on top.  Never expecting it to be now….you’re drowning….in over your head….risk it all, fight, claw for the top.

Rain drops drumming down on the rooftop

The rhythm matching feelings of the day

Fast, slow, happy, sad, depressed, neutral

All a flood of emotions that over flowed throughout the day

Listen to the calming sound thumping down from above you

In the warm embrace of the candle light you sit and watch

Listening and watching the storm outside, enjoying the cozy feeling

The feeling that the coat of rain makes as you listen to it come down around you

Not able to touch you the music flows through the strength of the storm

Everyone watches from the windows or under the coverings

Listening and playing along with the beat of the storm in your mind

I stumble as I walk through the dimly lit maze, another turn.  Focusing on the torch light up ahead I keep moving.  Frustrated at all of the breakthroughs and stumbles.  Looking each way from the center.  Going Left or Going Right….how am I to know?  I hear something so I move in the opposite direction.  Lost among the massive passages.  Continuing to move out of sight. Continuing to move without a map.  I wonder how long I’ve been walking.  I’m starting to ache.  No time to slow down.  No time to look first.  Keep walking, round and round, this way and that.  Lost in the dim light of the tunnel.  What was that?……Was something there, or just a shadow jumping up and down on the wall?  Did something move down there?  Taking the torch off the wall I continue to move.  Keeping close to the wall, I wonder what will happen next.  I wonder if I will ever get out.

Running through the darkness, tripping and slipping

Looking back trying not to fall

Quickly struggling up the hill, dashing through the trees

Not believing what you saw

You keep running, not knowing what else to do

Not wanting to accept it, you keep going

Who to go to?  Who to trust?  You haven’t a clue

All you can do is run and keep running

Never stopping for  a moment of piece

Never leaving behind any type of disgrace

Not wanting to lose face, you smile at least

It doesn’t last long, the fake emotion you project

Moving through the darkness you keep moving

Still unwilling to think you dodge another rock

Go around the bench, not wanting to accept losing

She feels like a princess as she looks in the mirror, the dress flows down beautifully over her perfectly thin and curved body.  She sees the curls done in her thick blond hair.  She smiles, pristine.

On the other side of the wall, a girl sighs when she sees the reflection of a hurt, torn, and broken girl staring back at her.  Her straight straggly hair; she thinks about going to the dance…but this is as good as it gets.

She slips into her new shoes and removes a stray piece of hair.  One last look to make sure every thing is in it’s rightful place, she’s giddy as she walks out her bedroom door.

She listens to the screaming downstairs and wishes to be any place but here.  Looking at the mirror, she wonders if she will always be here.  Maybe Alice had the right idea, Wonderland?

Her parents meet her at the bottom of the stairs, camera in hand.  They smile and kiss her on the cheek.  She hugs them as her date rings the bell.

She stares at the door, hiding in her room, not wanting to leave, but not wanting to be there.  Wishing there was a way out, she sighs, and looks back to the mirror.

Arriving at the dance she steps out of the rented sports car.  He guides her in with a smile and gentleman’s grace.  She walks in delighted to see the smiles from her friends.

She stares back at the mirror, at her only company.  Her only companion in the room full of sorrows.  She brushes away the tear that slips unwillingly down her cheek.

Floating through the room like royalty, handsome man at her side.  She joins in on the laughter and gaiety, as she is swung around the dance floor.

Silence now fills the house, as everyone else has gone to bed.  Feeling sorry for herself and the life she has been tossed into she sits on the edge of the bed.

The evening is coming to a close as a few people trickle out the door.  Helped into her coat, she smiles at her charming date.

Closing her eyes and laying down, she tries to forget the pain she feels.  She tries to imagine better, happier times spent with friends.

Reaching the door he helps her in, crossing over to his side he smiles at her.  She looks at him with her big green eyes and blushes.

She starts to doze off to sleep as she remembers all of the good times that she’s had.  All of the friends that had surrounded her.

She reaches for the car door and screams as she’s pulled backwards into his arm.  Covering her mouth he tells her how he’s been waiting all night.

She twists and turns in bed, fighting against the darkness of the dreams, and remembers that a year ago, she was at the dance that ended her joy that night.

I was browsing the internet the other day and ran across this website http://www.donothingfor2minutes.com/ Now, what’s interesting about this website is that it exists at all.  If you go to this website, it challenges you to do nothing but relax for two minutes, and there is a clock that counts down.  I would really like to know how many times people fail before they get to the end of their two minutes.  It’s not even like the computer would know if you did things that didn’t involve the computer, but I am willing to bet that most people cannot just sit there and listen to the soothing wave soundtrack they have playing on the site for two minutes without touching the keyboard or mouse.

I really think that we have gotten to the point where we are always multitasking or on the move in our society.  I am torn between thinking that is a good thing or a bad thing.  But if you think about it, I think it is pretty true for almost everyone I know.  We are either watching tv while we work, or listening to music AND talking on the phone AND driving AND drinking coffee.    How often do we just take the time to relax, or even just do one thing at a time any more?