Shining Thru

The thrill of a new experience, the excitement of the build up and anticipation

Leave you wondering what will happen next, all the possibilities race through your mind before you have time to latch onto one of those threads

A sense of trust and wonder overwhelm all other senses as you make your way through the moment

Fumbling through, absorbing everything into the whole body

Feelings and emotions flowing through the passion of love and pure elation

The warmth of the other half of your soul found in the body next to yours

Evidence of the mutual passionate bliss in their eyes, mind, body, and heart

Glowing radiation of the new experience shared and enjoyed

A memory that cannot be erased or forgotten

Something to replay in the recesses of the mind

Something to give power and strength as you are reminded of the love and passion

Reality blurred into the wondrous fabrication of peaceful passion

Living, Breathing…but not thinking or feeling

Pull the string and watch them say the programed phrases

Keep on watching as they march across the room

Living on in the program of society

Not able to change the ones and zeroes that surround us

Watching them makes you sad

You check the reflection of your mind

Not watching to turn into plastic

Not wanting to turn into something fake

Not willing to give up the emotions of life

The hurt and the frustration are traded for love and happiness

Tears of joy replace those of saddness

Giving up the pain isn’t worth giving up the power of thought

The power of knowledge and experience

The love and life that you would miss out on

Have you ever ran smack into a hard decision that leaves you feeling like you hit a brick wall…all disoriented and out of sorts, not really sure of what happened or where it came from?  Completely unexpected, not quite knowing what do to do, or the next step to take….You don’t want to disappoint anyone but you know you need to watch out for what’s best for you…what is the definition of the “right” thing to do…How do you know when you reach your final decision?  How do you know that you wont regret it…

I guess you really don’t know.  Sometimes you might just have to take a chance and trust your instincts, and if it turns out not to be right for you, you move on and make another decision to move on to something else….What else can you do?  Weigh the options, pick one, and hope things work out for the best….

Frustration mounting to the peak

Making it easier all the time to travel further down the path

Away from the brier and into the clearing

Into the sun and warmth of relaxation

Into a place that fits well and isn’t a constant struggle

Not even waving or looking back you walk on

No longer doubting the choice, just trying to let go

Let go of the emotions, frustration, anger, and guilt

Moving on to better things, until another mountain appears

The frustration makes it easier to keep walking away

If you had to choose one picture to sum up your entire life, would you be able to do it?  Would you be able to choose one for even a day?  Would it be an image with you in it, of an object, a loved one?  Would it be of laughter or of silence?

How would you sum up a day that takes you on an emotional roller coaster?  Up and down, all day long, happy moments, fun moments, sad moments, angry moments, annoyed moments, back to cheerful and loving, or hot and sexy, and then back to disappointment or frustration….

Is there a way to describe a life that is open to all emotions and possibilities in something as short as a photo?  What would your photo contain?  What would a glimpse into your life look like?  How long or short would it need to be in order to fully grasp the summary of your life?  Is it better or worse that the filmstrip would be short?  Less complications, but less explorations….Less hurt, but less love….Would it be better if the film was longer…or would it be better just to live snapshot to snapshot, never worrying about the whole picture?

It’s the pleasant little surprises, getting an invitation, feeling loved, some little nice, sweet gesture that just came out of no where that really just make you feel good and help you to let go of all of those unwanted feelings that have been clinging on because of the happenings that life brings to your door.

Sometimes surprises are not so good, but the ones that come up naturally from a loved one seem to really improve on any situation.  The smallest of sweet gestures can make you really take a deep breath and just enjoy an evening, or bring a smile to your lips every time you think about it.

Sometimes just know you are loved is enough, and other times it’s the little surprises that just remind you that life can be good and there is such a thing as happiness…and most importantly, that happiness is not  out of your reach and it is not too good for you…

It’s strange how some things just all of the sudden fall into place.  All of the worry and anxiety that comes with the natural problems that come your way in life…and then all of the sudden they are solved, things just come up and pop into place right in front of you…impossible to miss.  The problem being that sometimes it’s hard to convince yourself to relax and accept that things have worked out…it’s like you’re waiting for something else to go wrong instead of enjoying the moment of everything being caught up and in place.

It’s hard to let go of the feelings that have become a regular part of the routine…almost like you don’t know how to feel if it’s not one of those feelings of frustration, despair, anxiety, or resentment.  Somethings can make you feel loved and wonderful, but then you still feel like you should be taking care of the problems that you have been dealing with so long…it’s hard to even know what do with the free time you have found thrown into your lap.  You have to keep telling yourself that everything has worked out and there isn’t anything you need to be worried about any more. …. leaves you in an odd place.

Self Perception and insecurities can play a huge role in how you see the world.  It’s always surprising that a lot of the problems that people have with the world are really based around insecurities that they have about themselves, the things that keep them from being self confident in how they look, act, or simply are….

Many people complain about other people or the way the media portrays people because they are insecure with that exact opposite about themselves…I never realized it before I had a conversation with a friend who pointed it out, but they were right…you very rarely hear a confident person complaining about other people, or the society that we live in…they just make it work because they are confident in who they are and don’t care what anybody else has to say or even think about it.

And in truth, it shouldn’t matter what anyone else has to say about you,  because honestly, you are none of their business.  Granted, everyone has a different life experience and therefore see things differently…the things that annoy me, or irritate me, may be the things that you enjoy and are glad to see in our world….a lot of it is based on our background, but a lot of it is also based on who we are as a person.  If we are confident in who we are and what we do, then we shouldn’t have anything to worry about.  I realize that sometimes that is easier said than done, but it should be the case.

I think it’s funny that as I stop and think about all of this, it is the people who are constantly saying how they don’t care what other people think, and make it a point that everyone knows that they don’t care, who seem to have the most insecurities.  The ones who are promoting others not to do something because it is what society pushes for, are the same ones who try to talk themselves up or others down while condemning all society.  Maybe it’s time for those people to take a look and do a little self examining before they go off about what’s wrong with this group of people or that group, or society in general…..

I don’t think it’s a bad thing for any of us to take another look and at least be knowledgeable about the fact that our self perceptions greatly affect our perceptions of society and the world that we live in.

Every day leads to the unknown, even the best laid plans can become a jumbled mess of chaos.  Sometimes there are some moments that lead to ecstatic surprises that fill you with happiness and joy; then there are the moments with the unpleasant surprises that just lead to frustration and confusion…and leave you waiting for the next step to come your way.  Sometimes there is no way of knowing what will come next.  The world is made of wavering paths that we just do our best to keep balance on the wavering and ever changing roads that we find ourselves on.

Always running just to try and get a step ahead, but never knowing where that step will and, you could step on a gold mine, or into a hole of nothingness and then have to climb just to get back up on your feet.

Life is always full of the unknown, some of it good, some of it not so much…but we can’t do much except continue on and hope for the best.  Hope that eventually the bad will even out with the good and things will fall into place.  That plan that you’ve created in your mind for so long, and maybe you’ll be left to be happy, and maybe just a little less struggle will come your way, maybe just a little less of wobbly roads, and maybe something just a little more solid to stand on.

Have you ever realized that you have forgotten something extremely important?  Have you ever just had a moment of “oh crap I can’t believe I didn’t do that?”  I’ve done it and seen many different people have those realizations…a bill, an appointment, a date, a test, a part of the process.  It always seems like those moments pop into your head, either just in time, or just a second too late, or at the most inappropriate/inopportune time.

What do you do when you remember, spring into action, or call around checking, or just put it back to the side for just another moment, realizing that it’s probably too late anyway?  What happens when you’re right at the finish line and then realize that you forgot that final lap, that one last step in the process.  I have found that this happens the most when you have a very extended time to complete something.  When you know you have a few months or even years, you just set it to the side figuring that you can take care of it later…and then it happens….the time is up and you either remembered or you didn’t…now what?