Shining Thru

I think our society is creating a lazy generation in the younger generation, both physically and mentally….but how has this happened?  Who’s “fault” is it that our kids complain about having to walk up stairs and aren’t able to take the elevator, or have to pick up their own mess, or be responsible for their own things and keeping track of them.  It also amazes me how the younger generation cannot seem to retain information, or carry it over from one class period to another….but who do we blame…is it any one’s fault? 

Why does there seem to be a whole category of reality TV shows that are devoted to showing how parents have screwed up their children?  Things like “World’s Strictest Parents” or “Supper Nanny” or “Nanny 911″  Seem to be making a killing in the world of reality TV shows…..when did parents stop parenting, when did parents decide that they needed to be more of a friend instead of a parent?  When did it become OK to disrespect your parents or take advantage of the things that your parents provide for you?  When did it become OK to not be grateful but always wanting more and whining about everything?

Was it when both parents had to start working in our economy?  Was it when technology became available to enough families that it replaced family time and babysitters?  What makes some of these people think that they owe their kids the right to be disrespectful, rude, selfish and lazy?  What is wrong with kids having to do chores or earn what they get?  Instead it seems like the younger generation as a whole seems to think that they are entitled to things and seem to expect things that they haven’t earned or even attempted to earn. 

I’m not sure when working hard became a bad thing and now everyone just expects things and seem to think that the things will just appear instead of someone having to work for them….I wonder how many teenagers today understand how much their parents pay for their cell phone, cable, Internet, etc…..

How can we change our kids back to the values of hard work and feeling proud that they worked hard for what they have instead of teaching them to look for the quick and easy way?  I really think that our society is slipping quickly downhill and this laziness and expectancy is only going to transfer into adult hood, if not with this generation, then with their kids when the kids today are raising their kids the way that they were taught by their parents.  I think that our society needs to be careful before we dig ourselves a hole that we cannot get out of….eventually there will not be anybody left that knows how to work hard to provide for all of these expectant people.

Who ever said ignorance is bliss is a liar.  I hate not knowing what is going on….even more than that I hate it when there are ignorant people around me….maybe some people can be blissful while ignorant, but not me.  At the very least their ignorance pains me.  I hate it when I feel like I’ve lost some of my intelligence because an ignorant person was around me too much that day….sometimes you’re stuck around stupid people and it sucks. 

Ignorance is only hurting the world.  I can’t imagine the changes that would happen if we could educate people on the issues of the world and actually have that information soak in.  All of the education in the world is never going to help our society if people aren’t willing to admit that we have problems in our society.  But nobody wants to admit that they or anyone around them is stupid or ignorant….

Some people like to gain knowledge and squash the ignorance in its tracks, where as other people just like to ignore the problems of the world, even while those things are staring them in the face.  I don’t understand how people can live like that…choosing to be ignorant.  How can a person not desire knowledge, I thought it was human nature for the longest time…and yet I see people choosing ignorance over acknowledging issues in the world every day.  Some people want to live in a book that is only painted with the pictures of their mind, their issues, their beliefs….not ever accounting for the fact that there are people who live outside of their eyesight, that there are people who don’t feel the way they feel, who don’t believe what they believe, who don’t know what they know…who know more than what they know.  I can’t believe that some people can be so ignorant and so vain that they seriously cannot see beyond their own front yard so to speak.

Could you kill the person that you love to save them from something worse?  Could you sacrifice breaking your own heart and rip it out as you declare your love for that person and kill them?  Watching The X-Men:  The Last Stand movie got me thinking about that.  It must be one of the hardest things anyone would ever have to do….right up there will having to decide weather to have an abortion or not if you know your child would have a horrible disease that WILL kill them before they are five and will only make them suffer until them….What do you do?  Do you give them the gift of life along with suffering while they are briefly on this earth, or do you spare them all of that and end it before it begins?  How can you ask someone to make that decision?

When the truth is unknown

When the truth is blurry

Step back and wonder….

Does It Matter?

What’s happening only matters if you care

If you put value on the action

The truth, is only true if you believe it

Perception is your reality,

No matter how skewed it might become.

Truth in the depths of your soul

Can it be ignored…can denial really last?

Can the mind cover up for what the heart feels?

What is the truth?

What you believe or what you see or what you feel?

What is experience other than what you think you experience….

Your perception of the experience creates the reality of the experience

Reality……

Only a matter of perception…

and yet people put so much weight behind it

Every one’s truth is different, but where does it come from?

Does it matter?  Is it important to know the ultimate truth?

Why mess with a reality you’re comfortable in for the plain truth?

Why change realities by allowing your perception to change?

What if things will be better?  What if things will be worse?

What if the truth scares you?

What if you’re reality is denial?

Should you search for the truth when you have already established your reality?

I think we are setting up the younger generation for failure.  I think that we are pushing for all of the wrong things, instead of trying to encourage things like hard work, and good social skills, showing respect, etc…we are trying to tell them to simply be positive…well being positive is great, but not always possible.  What about the child who doesn’t have anything to be positive about, doesn’t have a good family or a good  home life, maybe they are even scared to go home at night, how can you tell that child that they are not being successful in school because they are not positive enough?

I was reading a very interesting article the other day about psychology facts that we have been forced to believe or made to think were true simply because someone said it…one of these myths is about about self confidence.  The article made a great point about how we are teaching kids that they need to work for the wrong things, they need to be self confident, without giving them the tools to do so.  We aren’t teaching them good social skills or how to be successful in school, we are teaching them to be cocky, arrogant, and ignorant at best.  The author simply pointed out that we are connecting the fact that a child has self esteem to the fact that they are successful, when really we should be looking at the fact that the success is making the child self confident.  I would have to fully agree with this point.  What good does it do to tell a child to believe in themselves if we never teach them how to accomplish those goals we tell them to believe in?  It wont do any good for anyone. 

I do believe that a sense of self worth comes from many different aspects of a person’s life.  And having confidence can make things a bit easier for you, at least I think so, but I don’t believe that by simply believing you are the best, you will be…By simply believing that you will land a 3 figure job, you will….By only believing that you will be famous, you will….I think that we are only hurting our younger generation by feeding them these lies.  I think that we should be telling them that life is a struggle and if you want something that’s great, but you’re more likely than not going to have to work hard for it. 

Maybe we should stop trying to make everyone feel so good and simply be honest with them.  Lies aren’t going to help our children when they get out into the real world and experience it without warning.

“Plastic, they’ve learned…”  A quote from X-Men:  The last stand. 

I thought the quote was pretty clever when I watched the movie for the first time today.  It got me thinking if we ever really learn that quickly, or if it takes time and time again of failure before someone figures out that the same thing is going to happen every time. 

Things seem so much clearer in the movies…in reality you watch people make the same painstakingly stupid mistakes, but there’s nothing you can do to convince them that they are being stupid.  So many people want to stick with what they have planned, even when the plan is obviously not working.  They could be going down in flames and still say, don’t do anything, stick to the flight plan….Have we really failed in our society to the point that people can not make on the spot decisions to make things better?  To change direction because things aren’t going as planned?  Why is it so hard for people to see something that is not working and logically say, we need a new plan…instead they generally say let’s try it one more time the same way…..

What is so wrong with change?  Why can’t we learn from our mistakes?  I’m not sure when mistakes became so bad that we can’t own up to them, but I think it would be much more useful for us to embrace our mistakes as learning experiences. 

But people will keep making the same mistakes until we create a society that can think on their feet, is more innovative, and doesn’t keep falling in the same traps, letting history repeat itself, time and time again.

I think it’s interesting how many different things can motivate different people.  Some people are motivated by something that would completely offended another person, while other people are only motivated by one or two things.  However you look at it, it always seems like there are many more things to distract a person rather than to motivate them.  A person finds themselves getting bored and suddenly can think of a million other things that “need” to get done rather than the thing that they are working on…or if you try to force yourself to work on a project without the motivation, you might just find that you are simply staring at it while the clock ticks the minutes by. 

So when you find that you are unmotivated, what do you do?  Is it better to try and force yourself to work on something that you are obviously not interested in, or is it better to let yourself be distracted by everything except that one thing that you really were planning on getting done? 

How do you figure out what motivates a person?  How can you try and find that one trigger that will get it done; people can’t always figure this out for themselves much less other people.

What is so important it is worth dying for?  Is there any cause that is worth standing up for to the point that you are willing to put your life on the line?  On the other hand, how much of your own beliefs and way of life are you willing to put aside for any reason?  Some people die within themselves, maybe because they want to blend in, maybe they don’t want to cause problems or tension, maybe they want to get ahead in a job or career…whatever the reason, where do you draw the line?

Watching a movie called Swing Kidstoday got me wondering if I would be able to stand up for what I believe in when everyone around me is sending the opposite message.  The movie is about a group of teenage boys who live in Germany during WWII.  These boys didn’t want to join the Hitler Youth, but two of them are forced into it; exposed to propaganda every day and expected to act a certain way.  The boys thought it would end up being the perfect cover:  “Hitler Youth by day and Swing Kid by night”.  Unfortunately, the boys get caught up, one more than the other.  One of the boys figures out that it really is all propaganda and that he could never be a Nazi and live with himself.  It takes his friend almost killing him and seeing him taken away to a work camp to come around and remember what he believes in.

Could I stand up for what I truly believe in?  What if doing so put my family and friends in danger?  I would hope I would never compromise myself because of a need to fit in with a popular crowd or teaching.  On the other hand, I can’t imagine ever putting my loved ones in harms way because of a personal cause…so where is the line?  How do we know when is the time to fight and when is the time to lay low?

Why are we told that expressing certain feelings are wrong when we are young to the point that when we are adults we feel shame when we feel certain things or begin to cry for one reason or another?  Why are we told that we need to hide our problems?  Everyone has problems and I think it’s important that we help each other through those and be strong for each other.  Sometimes it might be hard to stand by someone not knowing how it will effect you in the future, but it is more important to be strong for the person that you love and care about. 

Is it possible to be strong for someone else while still feeling free and being sensitive to your own feelings?  Your own desires?  Your own fears?  I think sometimes it’s impossible to deal with both and a person needs to put their own feelings and issues aside to help a loved one…but because you love them it’s worth it….

I wish we could always help the people that we love and care about…but sometimes we can’t…sometimes we can only be there for them and keep on loving them.  Especially with life changing decisions there is only one person that can make that call and that is the person at the center of it.  But it’s important that we love them and support them in their decision because it’s their life, it’s as simple as that. 

Decisions are hard enough to make without having to feel alone in the process.  Loneliness is probably the most horrible feeling in the world…so hold the people you are in love with close and let them know that they are not alone, and that they will always be loved.

Do you ever feel like you ruin everything…that you are undeserving….that you’re tired of feeling guilty and sorry about everything that happens? 

Sometimes situations present themselves as if they could have been totally different IF only….

If only I hadn’t said that and ruined the mood

If only I hadn’t done that and scared them away

If only I had gotten there five minutes earlier

If only….

If we counted up the if only’s of the world, I think we would be wasting our time, just like we are when we can’t stop thinking about the IF ONLY’s…..It didn’t happen that way, you didn’t do what you think you should have done with hindsight, you didn’t get there at a different time, it happened the way it happened….why is it so hard for us as humans to accept the reality that we have created?  It seems like so much of the population spends their time on regrets instead of moving forward, learning from it and moving on….I wonder who much we could get done if instead of think about the what ifs and regrets of the world, we spent that time being productive and moving forward into the future…I realize that statement is slightly contradictory, but I think that it illustrates the point quite nicely. 

If only we spent less time thinking about and wishing for the IF ONLY’s…..