Happy times remembered with a guilty conscience as you see the suffering all around
You see the struggles and listen to the pain in the cries and the screams
And yet you got lucky and had the good life, the one that everyone wanted
The happenings still alive in your memory, “the good times”
The one stretch of life where nothing could go wrong or knock you sideways
You remember all of the good times and happy hugs and kisses
The memories of holidays and wishes coming true, a smile on your face
Then remember you got the things that you wanted while others went without
Those thoughts now bring guilt onto the mind and heart
Every wish that was granted stings with selfishness
Every present that was opened feels the weight of denial now
To have so much and give so little should be wrong but felt so right
Torn ……not able to determine what is real and what is emotion run wild, you fight off thought and attempts at logic
Hiding in the black recesses of your mind, away from twisted logic that is coerced by overbearing emotions
Moving forward, sad that you can’t share in the happiness you once had
Now only able to provide for yourself and think about survival
The survival you didn’t know was a game that was played behind your back
Your parents the players and you the unaware audience
Played over your head where the words couldn’t reach you in a code unbreakable
Sheltered and kept safe in the world that is created for you and around you
Never knowing that there was something more until you had to grow up
Now there is a whole new world that you need to explore with a blindfold on
Never knowing what is going on in this place that you have rented in the world
Traveling down roads that lead to sweet new discoveries, or to dead ends,
Never knowing which until you arrive, the only way to solve the puzzle is to keep on guessing
Always looking around the corner, not able to see through the trees
Watching as the colors change and steps get closer to the cliff
The outcome still unknown but seems to be a light, a general goal is finally set
The finish line can’t be far beyond, as you hope that one day you’ll be creating the protective world around another
The protective bubble, you can only hope the happiness comes without the price
No overbearing guilt in the next generation, but only appreciation and joy
Nothing taken for granted but never left wanting in the cold, waiting for things to go right
Now only wanting something better, to give something more to those who come next into the unforeseen world.
