Shining Thru

It’s strange how some things just all of the sudden fall into place.  All of the worry and anxiety that comes with the natural problems that come your way in life…and then all of the sudden they are solved, things just come up and pop into place right in front of you…impossible to miss.  The problem being that sometimes it’s hard to convince yourself to relax and accept that things have worked out…it’s like you’re waiting for something else to go wrong instead of enjoying the moment of everything being caught up and in place.

It’s hard to let go of the feelings that have become a regular part of the routine…almost like you don’t know how to feel if it’s not one of those feelings of frustration, despair, anxiety, or resentment.  Somethings can make you feel loved and wonderful, but then you still feel like you should be taking care of the problems that you have been dealing with so long…it’s hard to even know what do with the free time you have found thrown into your lap.  You have to keep telling yourself that everything has worked out and there isn’t anything you need to be worried about any more. …. leaves you in an odd place.

You can only trust people to be as exactly as they are.  A hard lesson that must be learned, or you can go through life trying to see the good and trusting people and getting screwed over in the end.

If you trust the people that only have their best interest at heart, to have yours as well, you will lose out every time.  And then people want to quickly back track and let you know that you should go on trusting them…but why??  What’s your motive?  There isn’t one….the only thing you can do is move forward a little wiser, and remember the lesson you learned about trust so that you never find yourself in that position again.

It’s such a shame that it comes down to this, I wish that we could believe what people tell us, and believe that they mean what they say when they appear to give a damn about you, but in reality, you have got to do what’s best for you.  Because you are the only person that you know what lies behind in the depths of the mind as motivation.  Everyone else’s dark recesses of the mind will always be a mystery.  You can never know what lies behind the actions of another until the end game is seen.  Trying to figure it out will only exhaust the mind, it’s better just to make sure that you are always watching out for yourself, and as selfish as that sounds, it’s better than getting screwed over.

It’s strange how a lot of times when you’re uncomfortable, sick, stressed, etc.  There are certain things that you look for and just know that one little thing could make you feel so much better even though it doesn’t actually change anything.  Sometimes it’s a food, sometimes a person’s voice, sometimes a person hugging you or cuddling up with you on the couch.  Different things comfort different people and a lot of the time, people need different things to provide different comforts.  Sometimes at the same time, like going out for your favorite meal with the person that you love and trust because you’re feeling stressed or upset about something…

Comfort sometimes is found in a book covered in the warmth of your bed, or a favorite movie….it’s strange how some little things can provide so much comfort for you.

Feelings change with everything that is added to them or takes away from them.  Comfort can be such an easy thing to provide, or such an easy thing to take away…it all depends on the perspective of the person and how easily they are affected by different things that come their way, or how they react to not getting what they want when they want that familiar comfort.

It’s amazing how you get so caught up in certain things that you don’t know where the time goes…pieces of your life…spaces of time that just seem to disappear, sometimes when you’re caught up in the stress of things, sometimes it’s because you’re relaxing in the moment or just hanging out with the people that you care about…having fun.  Sometimes you can remember every little detail, other times you sit there and have to wonder what you did for that many hours…because it seems like only a few minutes went by.

I think it’s kind of crazy how we have let ourselves get so wrapped up in things that we spend most of our life being worried about what comes next on the schedule…where does the plan go from here?  I think that a lot more people would be happier if they just let things go as they will….

Now, I understand that you have to plan certain things out, or live in a constant state of chaos, but sometimes, the schedule should be the last thing that you are thinking about.  Sometimes living in the moment is all that matters, because those moments will be the details that you remember, and you will regret passing them by just to keep up with some imaginary time table that you made up one day over a cup of coffee…

I think it’s crazy how some things that happens to other people, have nothing to do with you, but can still really offend you.  You have to wonder if you’re making yourself to be more important than you are or if you just really care about the other person….you have to wonder if you have a caring heart or an over involved heart…. I think that both are possibilities, I also think that there is a fine line there.

I hate seeing certain things and I know other people that get really upset when they see completely different things.  So what happens when you’re upset about something that happened to someone close to you, but they are not upset.  Do you let it go?  Try to hype them up?  It isn’t right to disregard your feelings, but it certainly isn’t right to press those feelings on the other person either.  Which leaves you in an odd position, of just deal with it and get over it your own way and then let it go.

Sometimes you try to put yourself in their situation or the situation of the person who did the offending, but the truth is, without actually being in that situation, we have no idea what we would actually do in the reality of the situation.  I find that people are quick to say..”well if that was me….” but in all actuality, there is no way for them to know what they would do.

Looking through the glass at the other side of the window

Looking to see who is out there

Looking to see who is close by

Always watching, Always protecting, Always there

Seeing the people that matter

Seeing the things truly involved in life

Happiness coming to a head

Life leading down the paths we don’t choose

But ending with a smile and love

Sight of true life and a happiness that we thought escaped.

Feeling for them and seeing what they see

Seeing what you know to be true

Hiding behind the masks of the past no more

Embracing the person inside

Accepting the Love being offered.

It’s amazing how some things just make you feel good, it might start with a smile, a silly picture, an inside joke, a small laugh, or a hug.  Something that just brings a smile to your face and the light in your eyes, when you can feel yourself get better from the day.  I think it’s pretty amazing how sometimes one of those things comes at the perfect time, almost as if it was planned.

A call from a friend or a text picture that makes you crack up laughing, or just a thought that makes you giggle a little or feel loved, something that comes when you’re just about to give up on the day and turns the whole thing around.  I think it’s pretty cool that sometimes things work out in a way that you never thought would have happened.  A lot of the time I find that situations come around to something that you never expected.

It’s always a pleasant surprise when you end up feeling good at the end of a blah or bad day.  I think it’s great when you find a new thing that can make you smile or laugh as well. 

Embarrassment is a strange emotion.  It comes when you least expect it and can come in so many forms, in so many places, and from so many different people.  The other thing about embarrassment is that it can last for all sorts of different time spans.  Some people are able to let go of embarrassment rather quickly, while others can hold on to it, and begrudge anyone who saw them get embarrassed.  Some people can even embrace the feeling and turn it into a positive experience because they like all of the attention, while others spend all of their time hiding in the shadows, dodging all of the attention from everyone or at least the people who are not close to them.

It’s amazing how certain people can make you always feel safe and never make fun of you or embarrass you.  It has always interested me to know how some people you can just connect with right away and never look back, never regret that relationship, and never feel betrayed.  I think that we should feel lucky to know people that make us feel safe and secure, people who appreciate us for who we are and don’t hold our little malfunctions, or quirks against us.  These people we should always hold close to our hearts and never let get too far away.

Embarrassment, I think is one feeling that can really tell you a lot about your relationship with the people that you are around.  Some people can make you feel better about it, brush it off, laugh it off, and some people will hold it against you and point it out to everyone who comes your way.

I think it’s pretty interesting how the smallest change can interrupt routine…can cause chaos where there never has been any.  It’s pretty interesting the things that people pick up on and hone in on all of the sudden.  Something as simple as a change in hair style, cut or dye, or maybe losing a few pounds…things things seem to bring in more attention than a person would know what to do with since they aren’t use to being noticed.  It’s interesting how people seem to care so much about what you do with your appearance…they care so much that it causes a distraction to the normal routine of the day…it can cause some positive and uplifting comments from the right person or people, but it can also get annoying when it distracts from the work that needs to be done.  Even flattering comments can be annoying when they are coming from the wrong people…those type of comments can become extremely distracting since they make you feel uncomfortable.

Discomfort is an interesting thing.  Do compliments make a person uncomfortable or comfortable based on what they are said about or who they are from?  Or maybe the discomfort is simply because a person is use to being in the shadows, blending in, and then all of the sudden find themselves accidentally thrown into the spotlight of things….

Do you ever feel like you are screaming and nobody is listening?  No matter what you say you feel like you might as well take up being a mime for the circus, or just on the side of the street.  Yelling and Yelling but nothing comes out.  You want to shake the people around you and tell them to just listen….why can’t they just listen?

I have to wonder if I ever frustrate people in the same way.  I don’t know if there are mutual feelings from the people that frustrate me so much.  Sometimes you feel like you don’t even speak the same language as other people, the way things are twisted around or simply ignored….

I think that a lot of issues could be solved if people listened to each other, really listen to each other.  I think so many people just kind of go with the flow of things instead of paying attention to the details.  Some people are trying so hard to fight their way through each day, each minute, that things get tough for them to pay attention to, they’re simply stretched too thin.