Shining Thru » frustration

Losing Control

cnj222 — Wed, 17 Aug 2011 23:15:41 +0000

Do you ever feel the emotions and emptiness building up inside of you and you try not to feel anything because if you do feel anything you just know that you’re going to explode. There wont be any stopping the waterworks when they break through the flood gates; there wont be anything stopping the mind from going round and round in an illogical tornado, upsetting your whole night. Not able to sleep because you are trying so hard to avoid thought that it’s taking all of your efforts. Trying not to get upset about things that haven’t even happened yet you find yourself knowing that you’re going crazy from all of your fears and insecurities. You just wish that someone could come and help you get a grip, to be hold and feel loved and secure. Losing int he battle against emotions you try to take a breath and calm down, but it just keeps spiraling until you’re sitting with the Kleenex box next to the bed or couch again. Knowing that you’re not even making any sense you try to figure out why you are losing this battle when there isn’t even anything that’s happened to you……more and more frustration mounts as you try so hard to make better decisions and eliminate the confusion and chaos, but he consequences are clear, with every choice, it all looks the same in the end.

Frustration

cnj222 — Wed, 26 May 2010 21:11:40 +0000

Frustration mounting to the peak

Making it easier all the time to travel further down the path

Away from the brier and into the clearing

Into the sun and warmth of relaxation

Into a place that fits well and isn’t a constant struggle

Not even waving or looking back you walk on

No longer doubting the choice, just trying to let go

Let go of the emotions, frustration, anger, and guilt

Moving on to better things, until another mountain appears

The frustration makes it easier to keep walking away

Listening

cnj222 — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 02:43:06 +0000

Do you ever feel like you are screaming and nobody is listening? No matter what you say you feel like you might as well take up being a mime for the circus, or just on the side of the street. Yelling and Yelling but nothing comes out. You want to shake the people around you and tell them to just listen….why can’t they just listen?

I have to wonder if I ever frustrate people in the same way. I don’t know if there are mutual feelings from the people that frustrate me so much. Sometimes you feel like you don’t even speak the same language as other people, the way things are twisted around or simply ignored….

I think that a lot of issues could be solved if people listened to each other, really listen to each other. I think so many people just kind of go with the flow of things instead of paying attention to the details. Some people are trying so hard to fight their way through each day, each minute, that things get tough for them to pay attention to, they’re simply stretched too thin.

Christmas Sights

cnj222 — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 23:32:17 +0000

Red, Green, Yellow, and Blue; balls and stars glowing from the corner on the Christmas tree. Presents piled under the low branches, surrounding the beauty of the tree. Snow on the ground outside the window, reflecting the lights that are on the house and in the yard. Santas on the corners. People giving holiday greetings and smiles. Relaxing nights at home with the family.

Then you turn on the news and see all of the people stuck in the airports or stuck in the snow somewhere. Especially with the snow storms this year hitting in places that aren’t equipped to deal with the type of snow fall that has been happening. Trees weighed down with the “dusting” of snow. The power out because of the trees unable to stand up tot he weather that is coming down on them. Long lines at the stores for all of the last minute shoppers.

There are good sights and bad when it comes to the holidays. Some filled with love and others filled with frustration. The holidays bring out so many different sides to people and situations that we don’t see any other time throughout the year. It’s always interesting to see how things will turn out each year. Will you be someone looking for another flight to get home to the family or relaxing at home with some of the people that you care about and love? Every year is different.

Frustration in the Work Place

cnj222 — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 22:27:15 +0000

It’s frustrating to look around at your life and the people around you and know that the boss is the one who gets to sit behind their desk and get paid 5 times more than you or more while you work your ass off. Poor leadership is frustrating because it creates a poor work environment…if they’re not willing to do their job, there is a very slim chance that they are going to support you when you need it. No Support in the work place makes you not want to go back. To see the people who are suppose to be in the leadership roles frustrates you as they sit by and do nothing except criticize. Never taking the time to find out how to make your job easier or how to support you but always adding a new responsibility to your job description so that their job is made easier. It’s like some of our so called “leaders” feel that we are here to serve them instead of doing our own job. Why is it that the those who work the hardest are always the ones that are over looked and get paid the least? The leader gets to do all of the critique and take all of the credit but sometimes have no idea what the work actually entails that they are suppose to be supervising. Sometimes they are so oblivious to the fact that maybe the people underneath them are doing the best they can with what they have and maybe that one extra thing cannot possibly get done within the confines. Frustration builds up and so the work place is some place that is dreaded, where as it should make you happy to get up and go to work, eventually frustration can make you hit that snooze a few more times until one day you just roll over and decide you’re going to skip the annoyances that day. I think that poor leadership can drive away good employees faster than anything else.

Building Frustration

cnj222 — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 10:09:08 +0000

Frustration building as you count to ten

A cannon ready to explode at any moment

Deep breaths, one…two…three…

Doesn’t help, you can still feel it rising inside

The frustration and anger that is screaming inside

Climbing and fighting to break free

Mounting and Building until it consumes

Climbing and screaming until you drown

Crushing and overwhelming

The tension builds to a new intensity

You need to let it out, you need to scream

Scream with not just your voice

But allow your whole body the outlet

The vent that is needed for all of the steam

The frustration builds as you sit there

Wanting to move without knowing where

Without having a purpose you feel antsy

Needing a release from the frustration

You go on anyway, not having another option

The only choice is to be frustrated or forget it…

Build Up

cnj222 — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 05:45:51 +0000

I think it’s strange how something that would normally just roll off your back or even make you happy on one day, can really piss you off after a day of continual frustration….When things just happen one after another after another, the smallest thing can just make you go over the top so to speak. Which is getting you to the point where you don’t want to deal with anyone else or anything else.

Do you ever notice how some people just have that talent of getting under your skin…they just know the right (or wrong, depending on how you look at it) things to say at the exact moment that it’s going to stress you out. Some people can instigate a fight between two people they hardly know and then just walk away from it. Some people can make you so mad and angry that you lose your focus and can’t even consentrate because you’re too busy trying to figure out their logic and why they said what they did.

Have you ever encountered people who have logic that literally hurts your head. When you can’t even guess at where the stream of consciousness is coming from??? On a day like today they seem to pop up out of the woodwork. You don’t even know where they come from. Or maybe you know this is exactly how they are and always have been and probably always will be, but on one of those frustrating things where things just compound one right after the other they seem to really get under your skin, and you can’t shake the thought that the person is just plain stupid…but if you think about it for too long, you start to wonder if you’re missing something, or if you’re stupid because either A)you’ve been thinking about someone’s stupid voiced thought for way too long OR B)you can’t grasp everyone’s line of thinking which makes you feel inadequate in some way.

On a frustrating day, all you want is the safety of home, and to relax….isn’t it funny how that never seems to work out. How you can’t relax, how sometimes you can’t even sleep when really that’s the only escape you know there is from the continual frustration of the day….