Shining Thru

Okay, now that that’s over, breathe, relax and take in everything from a clear perspective.  One thing at a time, step by step, minute by minute you’ll swim to the top.  After feeling like you’re drowning until you feel like you will fall victim to suffocation.  All of the energy and oxygen drained from your brain as you’re washed over with all of life going over your head, pushing you down.  Falling down with an over flow of feelings, not able to keep the tears in check, they keep running down your face.

Between the sobs, clarity begins to appear.  Slowly but surely the emotions pass and you’re left with a new start.  Taking a deep breath you move forward, make a list, pick up the pieces and move on.  Feeling alone and strong instead of lonely and vulnerable.  Moving forward step by step, it doesn’t seem so big or bad now that you’ve had time to look from a different perspective.  Sometimes you have to look up from the lowest point to see that the path really isn’t as uphill as it first appeared.

How much would you give up for someone that you love?  Your money?  Your property?  Your time?  You life?  How much would you expect someone to sacrifice for you?  Can you really count on anyone to give up anything for you?  Are their certain people that you know without a doubt you would do absolutely anything for?  Your children?  Your siblings?  Your parents?  Your wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend?  Who is it that you know you would do anything for because their happiness and well-being are more important to you then your own.  Or maybe there isn’t anyone that you feel that way about.  What would it be like to never love someone above yourself?  I feel bad for people who don’t ever get to experience that feeling because they are too self involved or too selfish to let another person get that high in their affections.  It’s really sad when you see that people who you think wouldn’t have a problem doing what’s right for the ones that they love, turn their back on them when they are in need, or go to absolute extremes, not thinking about the consequences for the very person they are trying to protect.

Watching The Way of the Gun was a very interesting two hours, if  you haven’t seen it, I recommend it.  It brought up some interesting points, such as the natural order that the world is suppose to have.  It got me thinking about the possibility of a natural order, I’ve never really thought about it before.  The natural order of things that is described in the movie is a very balanced mix of the fairytale lives that we are all told about in books and movies and then reality.

“There is a natural order. The way things are meant to be. An order that says the good guys always win, that you die when it’s your time or when you have it coming, that the ending is always happy-if only for someone else.”

This statement is the most realistic I have ever heard about happy endings, sometimes it’s just not happy for you.  Now I’m wondering if Darwin was on to something or if we have completely ruled out the natural law of only the strongest survive…..It’s an interesting thought, and it also raises the question of strength of what, body, mind, character?  All different attributes that at one time or another have their uses to aid in the survival process.  Do only the strong survive?  Or do we cater to the weak now to the point that it would be better for a person to be weak, because they would then get attention from others?  Same thing with animals, people are more likely today to stop and help a hurt animal than a strong, healthy, lost animal.  If we are completely ignoring the law of nature to build off of the strongest, are we effectively changing the law of nature?  Or have our actions just not met with the consequences yet?  Or even still, are we simply ignoring the consequences that have arisen from use battling out nature?  Do the good guys always win?  Do the bad guys always meet with justice?  I think anyone with access to the evening news would have to say no…that isn’t the way that it is.  Was it ever that way?

Up and down, left or right….which direction do you go?

Walking down the path, least desired rocky path you were forced onto.

The path of least resistance is not always the easiest

Sometimes stumbling along because you can see the way

Climbing on the rocks and tripping in the grass, slipping on the moss

Sometimes just going forward to avoid the crowd, sometimes going with the flow of the crowd

Not wanting to get stomped in the stampede,

Sometimes going off the path all together

Sometimes because of needing a moment alone,

Sometimes because of shouldering and elbows.

Needing to go forward, not sure if you want to push on into the wilderness

Unknown territory with no designated ending….just walking on

Go back to the easy path?  Cross over to a different path?

Stay here and continue walking on?

Thinking about or ignoring the decision, doesn’t matter…

It’s still there, and you’re still walking on…ever perpetual

I was browsing the internet the other day and ran across this website http://www.donothingfor2minutes.com/ Now, what’s interesting about this website is that it exists at all.  If you go to this website, it challenges you to do nothing but relax for two minutes, and there is a clock that counts down.  I would really like to know how many times people fail before they get to the end of their two minutes.  It’s not even like the computer would know if you did things that didn’t involve the computer, but I am willing to bet that most people cannot just sit there and listen to the soothing wave soundtrack they have playing on the site for two minutes without touching the keyboard or mouse.

I really think that we have gotten to the point where we are always multitasking or on the move in our society.  I am torn between thinking that is a good thing or a bad thing.  But if you think about it, I think it is pretty true for almost everyone I know.  We are either watching tv while we work, or listening to music AND talking on the phone AND driving AND drinking coffee.    How often do we just take the time to relax, or even just do one thing at a time any more?

What is the purpose of an education?  Teachers today have to teach their content area, act as a mother/father, counselor, nurse, teach manners, etiquette, coach…and basically just fill in the gaps.  Why is it that some parents can be so wonderful and supportive of their children, while others can’t wait for school to start back up because they feel like schools provide free child care and comes with statements like:  “let them deal with them” or “they’re your problem now.”  It amazes me that some people don’t even want to own up to the fact that they have children, have no interest in raising them, simply give birth and leave it at that.

It’s amazing how some kids can be sent to school without having had anything to eat, no money, and haven’t slept at all the night before for whatever reason.  Then teachers are suppose to get that child ready for college when that kid really needs a good home life, not to know his times tables.  Not that they don’t need an education or don’t deserve it, but how can we expect these children to concentrate on academic work when all that they can think about is how hungry they are?

Are teachers suppose to work on the character of the student, the academics of the student, the extracurricular activities and abilities of the student, or supporting the student?  The truth is that they are expected to do all of that and make sure that the child is ready for college and “the real world.”

Today teachers are held accountable, which sounds like a good idea, until you realize that the people coming up with the standards and the evaluation process have never had anything to do with education.  They aren’t putting the students first, they are putting the numbers first, and that is not the way to help our students.

Stepping back through the looking glass

Alice got slapped in the face with the harshness of reality

As she spun around to get back in, the door was closed, and rejection set in

Stuck in a cruel world without an escape, knowing something more fanciful is out there

Knowing that there is another place where the impossible becomes reality

By a simple change of perspective as the reflection is reversed

Stepping behind the glass and into a world of imagination

Holding fast to the untrue beliefs that got her this far

Everything became upside down and backwards, in a whirlwind of disbelief

But stuck in the middle of the new reality of the unreal

Wanting nothing more but to get back into the world of make believe

A world where anything you wanted could happen

She pounded on the glass, begging to come back to the strange world with stranger ways

She yelled and hollered for them to let her back in…..but nothing happened

Realizing it was useless, she turned to face the facts

Facts that a few minutes ago were ridiculous and easily proved wrong, now governed her again

Wishing she were back, but accepting that she’s not, she walked on

Into the world of rules and reality, where the perspective is back tot he straight and the narrow

The confusion and the silence set in, but she is back into her world and can never step back over again.

Looking at the stars, feeling all alone,

From the start, not knowing where the finish line is

How can you line up for the end when you don’t know where it’s marked?

How can you head in the right direction when you can’t see the guiding stars?

The stars brilliantly bright one minute and then covered in gray clouds the next.

Quickly fleeting, the only comfort and support is gone in the blink of an eye.

Not knowing when or where, not knowing how long or how much…

Only knowing that you’re here, not sure if anyone notices or not.

Knowing you’re alone in what you stand to do

Not knowing if there will be another beside you or behind you

Will they push you forward or stab you in the back, bringing you to a halt?

The stars peek out twinkling long enough for a glimmer of hope…

Before they disappear back into the world of the unknown

Your world is here, as much as you would like to be up there looking down

Your world is not shared but here and now

Your world is under the stars, and praying they wont leave you too

Your world is here…….where will you go?

Standing here in the face-off circle

Eyes connecting – calm face – racing minds

Separated by empty space

Only filled with the tensions of the game of life

Who’s move?  What’s next?

Can we finish with out a Cat’s Game?

Questions of the rules

Was there a mistake?

Every move reexamined …

From Start to Finish – we missed something

We must have missed something….

There must be something…some way to win

Snapped back into reality by the next move

Exactly what I thought….still in a stalemate

What are they thinking?

Why press on?  Why continue on in this state?

We continue to play for the love of the game…..eyes locked

Stress and tension building

Glances and Grimaces ….did I miss their move?

Do they look worried or relieved?

Did I miss my chance?  Did they  and I haven’t seen it?

Is that relief?  Did I miss my opportunity?

Did I miss the way in?  What’s the strategy?

How will this come out?  Or do we continue on with Stalemate?

I think it’s strange how some things can really catch you off guard, something completely out of the routine, it wasn’t suppose to happen or maybe something completely out of character for you or a person around you.  Something that is obviously not apart of the normal every day life that you are use to learning.  It’s also a little ironic how so many people complain about how boring their lives are….until something out of the ordinary does happen, something that wasn’t expected and wasn’t really wanted…..

Maybe an illness or an out of control car, either way they were equally unexpected and something that you would rather have your normal day over any time.  It would be nice if when your car starts to twist and turn on the road and you pray that no one else is around you on the slick surface that you could just go ahead and make the switch back to the tedious day that you dreaded going through the day before…or as you’re laying in bed coughing, you could just get up and go back to the routine of work and daily chores.

Some surprises are wonderful and the unexpected can really be exhilarating, some change to the monotony of  the change can be a wonderful thing that can really make you feel happy and free from the daily grime.  Sometimes something that catches you off guard can change your entire week, month, or even life….you never know what’s going to come your way, good, bad, or otherwise.