Shining Thru

Crushing in from all sides

You feel the tightening in your belly

Your head is pounding with suppressed secrets

Not knowing what is coming, like an animal trapped in a cage

Backed up against the wall of the unknown

Feelings that you can’t let out because of a secret life

Things in this life you don’t want to explain

Things that can’t be foreseen where they will go or how they will end

Looking for the next step

Tired of taking the back roads and stepping around

Creeping in your own skin, just to stay above

Not wanting to drown in your own emotions

Just hoping that logic will keep hold

The crushing weight continuing to pull down.

Intellect?  Where does it get you?  How can you puzzle through relying on blurry thoughts and logic? 

What causes someone to lose sight of what’s important?

To allow things to become hazy and confusing?

Not knowing where your life is going or what road you’re on…

In a sea of colorful balloons that explode in your face when they get too full….

Emotions that can only take on so much, a heart that is tugged at too often…worried and stressed…

All of your thoughts begin to hover in the air until they need rearranging…but what happens when you can’t latch onto them in time to get a grip on what they are?  What happens when you can’t even recognize your own thoughts?  Glimpses of clarity provide hope….Moments of loneliness and worry provide reality. 

What happens when your heart is torn in two?  Knowing that you are so happy with your traveling companion on the road of life, but also knowing that the stress is having its toll and proving plenty of detours and potholes.  Interrupting the smooth ride with the swerves and bumps. 

Maybe that’s what life is…an impossible logic puzzle.  Something that no amount of intellect will be able to uncover.  Sometimes you just have to go with it and hope for the best…..If feelings lie and intellect isn’t enough…what is left to go on except hope?  The knowledge that at least you know when you’re happy

Sometimes it’s good to take a step back and look at things with a new perspective.  To go ahead and look at all of the options and possibilities.  Maybe conclusions should never be drawn until all of the facts are known, and if all of the facts can’t be known then it should serve as a reminder to never jump to conclusions.  Not to worry about things before you even know what you’re worrying about.  Sometimes stress is the natural reaction but sometimes it comes too premature.  It’s good to just take a step back and look at things logically without your emotions interfering sometimes. 

Sometimes we have to accept that we will probably not ever have all of the answers, or all of the information.  There are only so many what if scenarios that we can run through our heads before we just have to jump in and go for it.  It’s good to wait sometimes but other times you just need to jump in.  The only way you can figure out what to do sometimes is to jump in and go on living, while other times you need to take a good step back and just look around for a few minutes before making that plunge. 

Taking a step back has a lot of advantages because we all know that it’s easier to form opinions or give instructions when it’s not us in the actual situation.  I think very few people can remove themselves from the situation to take a look.

Walking contradictions they like to call themselves

Sitting down, standing up, can’t decide and walk around

Twirling and spinning, you try to follow their stream of consciousness

To no avail, you simply get lost in their wonderland of supposed logic

The winding path of twisted thoughts, no clarity in their reasoning

Only confusing circles that lack coherence.

You try to discuss and debate, but nothing comes of it

They continue to loop around in their familiar circle.

You only end up spinning around in logical frustration

How their judgement makes sense, you simply cannot understand

You end up walking away to straighten your mind

Trying to think clearly again

Knowing you are still sane…..but live in surrounding confusion.

Have you ever been so confused by something that you were involved in that you simply replay it and replay it in your head trying to figure it out….Unfortunately all that happens sometimes is you get angrier and angrier with yourself trying to find the answers because there is no explanation for the confusion, you did something, or something happened for no reason, what so ever…..I hate feeling angry with myself….

There are other instances where replays can make you feel angry as well, like when you say something you wish you could take back, or when you think of the perfect come back, right after the conversation is over and the moment for it has passed and all you can do is replay the situation in your head and insert you witty remark. 

Why do we torture ourselves with replaying situations and moments that are over and done with in the past….there isn’t anything that I know of that can change the past.  Once it’s done, it’s done.  Now that it’s over, we need to learn how to let it go…turn off the instant replay and move on…..

It’s amazing how easily someone’s feelings may be hurt.  You can hurt someone with something so small to you, maybe even just a simple remark, question, or statement; maybe you don’t even realize that you have crushed their feelings. 

What about when you know that you are over reacting and still can’t help it.  When you know that someone would never want to hurt you, but you can’t help but feel the sting of their remark?  How do you get rid of that feeling?  It’s easy to say suck it up and move on…unfortunately no two people’s minds work exactly alike and what may seem like one simple comment to one person may spiral into a whole big scenario in another person’s mind.  Maybe that comment has emotional consequences that you can’t even begin to fathom…..

It’s probably the other person’s fault for letting their feelings take over their logic for that amout of time, but I think that most people struggle with this battle throughout the day.  Sometimes something just pierces you and you can’t help but associate it with other things in your mind.  It’s nobody’s fault really…because you can’t help the way that you feel.  I don’t think you’re suppose to help how you feel, but it is important to deal with them and not let them fester until the point when they will explode and there wont even be that logic behind them to let you know that you’re over reacting and not being logical. 

I think it’s important that we realize what great power we have over the people who are close to us.  However it is equally important for us to realize when our feelings are not being logical and probably have no merit in the situation to begin with.

Wandering around,

Pacing Back and Forth,

Lost in thought. 

Forever skipping steps,

Having gaps in logic,

But wanting the end resolved.

Thinking Thinking Thinking,

Sometimes wondering

Sometimes just letting it flow

Random thought taking over.

Chaos growing as you climb deep,

Digging Deeper into the steps of thought.

Climbing in and over

Not knowing if you will slip and fall

Not knowing what lays behind the next

Just continuing forward with everything, yet nothing in sight.

Being overwhelmed by feelings is like falling….It’s like being at the edge of a cliff and looking straight down; You decide to Jump….to let go of the ledge…To free fall and see where you land.

Not knowing if you will even survive, but needing to find out despite the possible consequences….logic gives way…..Nerves, fear, submission to feeling is all that is left.

Not fighting anymore you are free; Free to feel what ever comes naturally; Free to do what is needed to get that release

Sobbing Strain reaches your ears; Uncontrolled emotions are released

You’re no longer inprisoned by your thoughts and logic, no longer looking for a way to hide what you feel…Simply allowing yourself to be immersed in the natural emotions. 

Feelings are no longer on a short leash but are the leader; your logical brain has no say in the matter;

The powerful out-pour of emotions is beautiful….It’s a beautiful intimate truth

Make no excuses, Just let it all go and feel at peace…..

Feelings are sometimes hard things to sort through, fight against, and/or accept.  A lot of times the logic in your head is screaming at you not to feel the way that you do…so why do you feel that way?  Why is it that feelings can be a great guide, an advanced warning system at the same time they can be a horrible distraction, and really set you off your game.  Sometimes feelings lie…sometimes they are so illogical that they can make you feel crazy.  Sometimes your own feelings or fear of some of your feelings can drive you to loneliness, isolation; to a part of the world that you create for yourself so you never have to fully open up and expose yourself to other people…..but this is no way to live in my opinion.  Fear and Risk generally lead to some of the greatest things in life, including happiness and love.  Settling for contentment is just not really living for most people, at least not for me. 

If we live in fear of our emotions or live constantly fighting our emotions than we will never be happy.  We have to learn how to examine and understand our feelings from a logical point of view.  We need to remember that things are not usually as they seem at first.  We have to remember that feelings can lie.  We have to remember that feelings are a part of our being and without that I don’t think we would be considered human.  We cannot just ignore our feelings, but understand them….Without our feelings we would never feel happiness, love, and passion.  Granted along with these feelings we get some of the negative or scary ones as well, but think about all we would be missing if we hid from or denied our emotions…would we appreciate or even be able to experience happiness if we never experienced sadness?….would relationships grow if we never experienced hurt?

All feelings are important and need to be valued, it’s what makes us human.  We just need to remember that feelings are only part of our being and we can’t separate them from the logical part….

I think it’s pretty awesome that we are allowed to have our own thoughts, and opinions in this country.  However, I find it pretty fascinating at how vast of differences those opinions can have, and how the media will always try to do their best to persuade your opinions to those that will sell the most stories, papers, magazines, etc….

It doesn’t seem to matter if it’s a good thing or a bad thing in reality, the media is going to spin what they put in front of the nation into whatever story is going to sell.  If they feel a good human interest story is the best bet, then they will go for it, but generally speaking they go for the scandal aspect.  The latest with the scandals is that President Obama took his wife for a romantic evening in New York City.  Personally I think this is awesome, but the media is slamming him.  What is worse is reading some of the comments to the articles…some people are thinking for themselves, others are simply repeating exactly what they saw in the article.  Unfortunately, this is what our society has come to, being brainwashed by the media.  The majority of people in this country will believe whatever they hear, as long as they hear it on the news. 

I think it would have been interesting to see what people would be saying about the night out if the media would have taken the nice human interest approach, rather than the slaughtering approach.  And by the way, I think the President is doing a pretty amazing job if the worse thing the media can find to report on is that he took his wife out for a romantic date and is doing a great job keeping up with his relationship and his new job as President. 

I wonder what those people would be saying if the media would have promoted the good aspects of the situation….and I also wonder if this would be happening with a different president.  It seems to me like the President has always done family focused things and have always been applauded for their efforts.  Would the whole nation be supportive of the date nights if the media twisted the story into a positive light??  Will we ever be able to teach our general majority to think for themselves again or will we always be dependent on the media to feed the opinions of the masses.