Shining Thru

What is family?  I have never thought of my family as just blood relations….but what makes a family?  Does it just take a caring heart…I think it’s more than that.  I think it has to be someone who loves you and cares about you…but more than that they have to be willing to stand by you and be there for you even in the toughest of times….someone who wont walk away because it got hard or they disagreed with a decision that you make.  Blood doesn’t make a family, heart of a person willing to give and sacrifice for another person makes a family….

On that same note, I’m not sure that family requires unconditional love …. or that unconditional is even available to most people.  It’s an interesting concept….LOVE…what is it that attracts some people together for a romantic relationship, parental relationship, or some other kind of family relations.

How do people control other people?

I think that we see this in action the most with parents and their children….even though some children seem to have reversed the roles while nobody was looking.  Sometimes parents control their children with fear, bribery, encouragement, logic, mind games, etc.  I think that most people take their own approach when it comes to parental control….just as I think children find their own ways of testing their parents and trying to get their control…

What is it about certain things that create certain reactions within us from another person, especially from someone close to us.  Screaming tantrums often get their way in today’s society; although I know that type of thing seems unbearable at times, is it really benefiting anyone to reward such behavior…what reaction within us causes us to lose our logical side for a moment?  Although it ends the screaming now, what happens the next time a kid wants something their way….or the next and so on and so on? 

What is it about guilt that seems to control all sorts of people, especially people that know you care about them?  I know I can be manipulated by guilt, as I am greatly affected by it and it can cause all sorts of stress reactions….I wonder what it is about that particular emotion that can really get to people?

Some people are easily persuaded to change their minds or open them up to something, or close them to something by the people that are around them, or opinions they are exposed to in the media on a regular basis….some people just buy into everything that they hear if it sounds like there is a good case behind it, even when there are no facts to back it up…while others cannot be persuaded even when fact after fact is laid out right in front of them….

So what is it that people give into?  Is it the people closest to them?  The opinions and values they are raised with?  The media?  Or something else completely?

The largest meaning can come from the smallest word, or a simple look, or the slightest change in tone….It’s amazing how much we can read into the words and actions of others, even when, at times there is nothing to read into, it was a simple statement to that person, but to you, it changed your whole perspective. 

It’s crazy how some words hold such value to you, while another person just throws them away or uses them without spare.  How some words knock you down while holding another person up, maybe simply hearing them called that is what causes the conflict…..Words and body language are powerful tools, and deadly weapons, at least deadly in an emotional war. 

Verbal and emotional wars happen all over, all the time, between all sorts of people.  Some of the things people say can really hurt and sting, or smolder until you think you’re going to go crazy if you don’t talk about it…what’s funny is that sometimes they don’t even know that they hold that kind of power.  A person who loves you and who you love and trust can really break you down with a simple word or phrase; or the lack of a phrase or kiss, or a change in body language towards you….It’s amazing how all of these things can mess with the human mind and emotions….

How can we keep our emotions from taking over the logical side when we have to rely on our emotions when dealing with the people that we love.  We don’t necessarily have to know why we love them the way that we do, with such fire and passion, we simply do, because our emotions are so over powering that they can’t be ignored by the logical side of things.  The same way that they can’t be ignored when they have been damaged or knocked down so hard that they are out of breath for the moment. 

I wish we could realize the power that we have on the people around us, the influence that a simple kind word or remembering to call to say hello, give a hug or a smile, or say “I love you” to that one person…..that can mean a lot to someone who loves and trusts you, and/or someone who respects you.

The way men and women think is completely and totally different the faster everyone realizes that the faster we will all be a lot happier.  Now I know that there are a lot of comedy bits about the difference in the way that men and women think, and everyone laughs, but what makes them so funny is that they’re normally true.  Women need to realize that for the most part, men are straight forward and honest and need the same in return, I don’t know why women expect men to be able to read their minds, or have some huge underlying message, or objective….Women on the other hand, are almost never straight forward about things and they get their hopes up when statements are made with “IF” statements….now if women stopped for about two seconds and thought about the actual meaning of the word IF they would understand that it’s just that, if this happens then we could maybe do this…..but instead women think that plans have just been carved in stone and are really upset when they don’t happen, or when they realize that the man didn’t have the same understanding…

Why is it that a woman expects a man to know that when she says she doesn’t want him to come to her aid, she really means that she is desperate to see him…why not just admit that you want to see him and then everyone will be happy because everyone will know where everyone else stands, what is desired, and how to achieve happiness in the situation….instead women as a whole (not all women)  make it way more difficult then it ever needed to be, but stating what is only obvious to them, not to anyone else, and if you call them out on it, they look at you like you’re the enemy and that you should have understood the first time. 

I really don’t know why men put up with women.  I have my guesses at what a man would tell you as to why they do…Generally when I wonder about something that has to do with a man, I simply ask him…and generally speaking the answer is a lot more straight forward and simpler than I ever could have imagined. 

I do wonder why men and women operate so differently and sometimes on a completely different playing field…

The sweet hurt of jealousy

Irrationalities spring forth

Knowing logical thought is missing

Emotions can’t help but push forward

Emotional chaos runs rampid

Eventually Logic prevails

Feelings of guilt and shame arise

Get over it and move on

The thoughts scream in the back of your mind.

Trust each other.

Forgive irrational thoughts.

Love and Passion bring trust, forgiveness, and devotion.

Jealousy, not necessarily wrong,

A feeling of devotion instead of possession

Full circle to love and trust.