I think it’s kind of odd how quickly we can fall out of our routine.  Just as you’re getting use to the nice extended weekend of Thanksgiving and relaxing into a new routine…it’s back to work and the daily grind.  Unfortunately really, the fact that you can’t really take a break because you spend the first few days winding down from everything at work and then you have to spend the last day getting ready to go back to work.  Some people can’t even stay away that long from their work and end up sneaking into the office or working from home when they could be relaxing.  We’re so trained into our routine that if we do get to take a breath it’s only a quick one before our mind is back at the work place…thinking about going back, preparing paperwork, finishing up a project, or actually going into the office because you’re afraid of the work load that is building up while everyone is suppose to be on a break, since you know there are others like you that just can’t seem to take a real break.  What would it take for us to all just put work aside and concentrate on the important things in life?  Forget about money, bills, work, paperwork???  What would it take…Will it ever be possible?  Could it ever be possible?  I think that society has ingrained certain worries and concerns over certain responsibilities to the point that we have a really hard time putting them to the side and taking a break just for ourselves.  Simply relaxing for relaxation sake.  Enjoying our family and friends without a second thought to any work that is awaiting us on the desk or stacked on the table at home.  Going back to work from this wonderful long weekend made me realize how little of the break I actually enjoyed, which is why I think that we all feel like the break wasn’t long enough.  Like I said, we spend the first two days trying t let go of everything at work and then the last day getting back into the swing of things.

What are we teaching the younger generation when you can see a 15 year old throw a full out temper tantrum with stopping feet and slamming of doors?  What have we done to make that seem like it is ok past the age of 2.  We should be breaking our kids of that habit when they are 2 not when they are 20 and get fired from numerous jobs and end up on welfare because they can’t deal with things that happen in their work place, or when they don’t agree with their boss.  What are we teaching younger kids for them to think that if they stomp around, yell, or be rude and think that it will help them in any sort of way.  A teenager is way too old to be acting childish and not communicating like a young adult.  And yet it seems like more and more young adults are not maturing like they once did.  It seems like they are interested in things that are way beyond what they are ready for and try to be too much of an adult while still acting childish in their behaviors.  I know that the teenage years are hard for most people, but there comes a point when we need to realize that as a society we are failing to raise these young people in a way that will make them responsible and mature adults.  It’s the “gimme” generation.  Too many of our young people think that they are entitled to things that they have not earned and if they are not given what they want then they have the right to complain, yell, stomp, and be rude as if they had something to be offended over.  If parents don’t begin to raise their kids the way they need to as a parent instead of as a friend, they these problems will continue to grow.

I think we are setting up the younger generation for failure.  I think that we are pushing for all of the wrong things, instead of trying to encourage things like hard work, and good social skills, showing respect, etc…we are trying to tell them to simply be positive…well being positive is great, but not always possible.  What about the child who doesn’t have anything to be positive about, doesn’t have a good family or a good  home life, maybe they are even scared to go home at night, how can you tell that child that they are not being successful in school because they are not positive enough?

I was reading a very interesting article the other day about psychology facts that we have been forced to believe or made to think were true simply because someone said it…one of these myths is about about self confidence.  The article made a great point about how we are teaching kids that they need to work for the wrong things, they need to be self confident, without giving them the tools to do so.  We aren’t teaching them good social skills or how to be successful in school, we are teaching them to be cocky, arrogant, and ignorant at best.  The author simply pointed out that we are connecting the fact that a child has self esteem to the fact that they are successful, when really we should be looking at the fact that the success is making the child self confident.  I would have to fully agree with this point.  What good does it do to tell a child to believe in themselves if we never teach them how to accomplish those goals we tell them to believe in?  It wont do any good for anyone. 

I do believe that a sense of self worth comes from many different aspects of a person’s life.  And having confidence can make things a bit easier for you, at least I think so, but I don’t believe that by simply believing you are the best, you will be…By simply believing that you will land a 3 figure job, you will….By only believing that you will be famous, you will….I think that we are only hurting our younger generation by feeding them these lies.  I think that we should be telling them that life is a struggle and if you want something that’s great, but you’re more likely than not going to have to work hard for it. 

Maybe we should stop trying to make everyone feel so good and simply be honest with them.  Lies aren’t going to help our children when they get out into the real world and experience it without warning.

Why are we told that expressing certain feelings are wrong when we are young to the point that when we are adults we feel shame when we feel certain things or begin to cry for one reason or another?  Why are we told that we need to hide our problems?  Everyone has problems and I think it’s important that we help each other through those and be strong for each other.  Sometimes it might be hard to stand by someone not knowing how it will effect you in the future, but it is more important to be strong for the person that you love and care about. 

Is it possible to be strong for someone else while still feeling free and being sensitive to your own feelings?  Your own desires?  Your own fears?  I think sometimes it’s impossible to deal with both and a person needs to put their own feelings and issues aside to help a loved one…but because you love them it’s worth it….

I wish we could always help the people that we love and care about…but sometimes we can’t…sometimes we can only be there for them and keep on loving them.  Especially with life changing decisions there is only one person that can make that call and that is the person at the center of it.  But it’s important that we love them and support them in their decision because it’s their life, it’s as simple as that. 

Decisions are hard enough to make without having to feel alone in the process.  Loneliness is probably the most horrible feeling in the world…so hold the people you are in love with close and let them know that they are not alone, and that they will always be loved.

Have you ever been so confused by something that you were involved in that you simply replay it and replay it in your head trying to figure it out….Unfortunately all that happens sometimes is you get angrier and angrier with yourself trying to find the answers because there is no explanation for the confusion, you did something, or something happened for no reason, what so ever…..I hate feeling angry with myself….

There are other instances where replays can make you feel angry as well, like when you say something you wish you could take back, or when you think of the perfect come back, right after the conversation is over and the moment for it has passed and all you can do is replay the situation in your head and insert you witty remark. 

Why do we torture ourselves with replaying situations and moments that are over and done with in the past….there isn’t anything that I know of that can change the past.  Once it’s done, it’s done.  Now that it’s over, we need to learn how to let it go…turn off the instant replay and move on…..

What does it take to accept yourself for who you are?  Does it include your feelings, even if you know they aren’t always logical…does it mean not making excuses or apologies for what comes natural…even if others see it as wrong?  Does it include the situation that you find yourself in?  Can you have confidence without complete acceptance of who you are?  What if there is something that is very natural in you, but something that you want to go away, should you try and change it, or accept it and just learn how to live with it? 

Strangely enough, I think that some of the cockiest people have the lowest self confidence and have not accepted who they are; they may not even know who they are.  Self discovery is a strange feeling and a long process.  I am willing to bet that some people die, having never figured out who they really were, having always lived in someone’s shadow or the ideals others’ set for them as a child. 

If you hate the situation that you find yourself in, I can see why it would be easy to focus that in as self hatred and blaming yourself for getting yourself in the situation…and although you are responsible for your own choices in life, I don’t think that it’s any reason to hate yourself for those choices…what’s done is done, the question is how will you grow from the experience and move forward into the future with your new understand of yourself and the life that you want to lead. 

I don’t think that we can change our nature…what comes natural to us, has been their since birth…but I do think that we can decide how to use what was given to us to live the type of life that we want to live.  I think that we can accept even our worse qualities and simply learn from them and turn it into something positive that will help you go forward in life. 

I do think that in order to be truly happy, which is something beyond simple contentment, you need to accept yourself…I’m just not sure as to what all that entails.

I think that we have sold the younger generation short by telling them that they can do anything and become anyone that they want to be.  We make them feel like they are entitled to whatever they want, which is only limited by their imaginations.  there is nothing wrong with wanting our kids to be more successful than us, but to make that happen.  I think we need to introduce them to reality instead of only letting them dream.  Dreams are not bad things, but if the youth of today has never had to work hard for anything and don’t know how to make a plan to achieve a goal, if they simply expect things to happen then those dreams will never be reality.  No matter how hard they wish for and blame the world for their problems, if they were never taught responsibility and hard work, they will end up with nothing. 

I don’t think it’s fair that we are teaching all kids that everyone should go to college, no matter if they are inclined to academics or not.  I don’t think it’s fair that we are not encouraging our youth to follow the trades that they have a passion for and insisting that “No Child is Left Behind” and that everyone should go to college.  Maybe not everyone wants to go to college….but what is more important is that we are not preparing our youth for college because we are lowering the standards to the lowest common denominator so that No child will be left behind.  It is impossible to think that every child will always learn at the same pace as all of the others in their age group, across the country and across cultures….the only thing we are doing is setting them up for failure as a whole generation.  I’m afraid that except for the few kids who are going to work hard to get what they want despite society getting in their way, the rest of the rising generation is going to end up with nothing but empty dreams.

I hate it when you seem to care more about someone’s well being than they do.  When you end up stressed out because another person is failing at something or even at life…not really living…just existing, and yet they only whine, complain, try to get by on their looks or charm or money, and you’re the one trying to help them sort it out, while they sit back and do nothing.  You can only take this for so long, before you get tempted to throw your hands up and be done with the situation and the person….but they you are called a bad friend, or told that you are the reason that they are failing.

I wish people would take responsibility for their own choices, actions, or lack there of….If you do nothing to help yourself, wishes and prayers can only get you so far.  I heard once, “God can give you the canoe, but sometimes you need to paddle yourself, the current will only take you so far.  I think that’s very true in life, you can’t keep hoping for a new job, smaller pant size, a relationship, and continue to whine when you don’t get it if you’re not actively trying to get these things.  I wish we could just make a wish on a star and POOF it’s there in the morning…last I tried, it doesn’t work.  A wish and a prayer will get you nothing but empty dreams.

In order for our society to succeed, we need to teach the younger generation the qualities of respect and responsibility that we have somewhere lost along the way.  If we do not instill a work ethic and an idea of being responsible for yourself, our society is going to keep falling further and further into debt.  With a generation that is growing up in a world without consequences and rules, we will really be hurting when they are the ones in control and have no way of knowing how to establish order to their own lives much less, companies, communities, or government; we will be living in chaos. 

When are you considered a grown up?  Is it when you own your own car or house?  When you live on your own and have bills?  When you have a family to take care of?  What exactly makes you qualified to make adult decisions?  Why is it that our younger generation is trying their best to speed up the process?  Why do we have girls in middle school who want to have babies of their own, and boys who don’t think about the consequences of their actions?  As scary as it is, the kids who don’t think about the consequences and are in the doctor’s office crying with the results are more comforting than the 10 and 11 year old girls who want to have a baby, or the high school girls and boys who feel like they have to have sex once they get to high school, if they haven’t started already.  This is definitely not the same world I grew up in, the one where I thought my parents would kill me if I even went into a boy’s room at the age of 14.  Now there are pregnant girls in the majority of high schools across America.  Some girls even have goals like having two or three kids before they graduate.  I can’t imagine having children and trying to go to high school.  I give credit to those who are able to pull it off…but it really makes me wonder what kind of life they are going to have after that.  I have seen one high school student step up and really take responsibility and became a great mom who worked and took care of her own child…but mostly I see parents turning into grandparents at such an early age that they just go ahead and adopt their grandchild, sometimes even officially.  It’s great for families to help each other out, but I’m really afraid that some areas of the country are sending a message to kids that it’s ok to mess around because your parents or aunts or uncles will bail you out when you end up in over your head.  I don’t understand why kids want to grow up so fast, they will have plenty of time to make adult decisions when they are adults…..that is if they stop trying to make them when they are too young and a lot of times getting themselves into dangerous situations. 

In all fairness though, there are plenty of people who are legally adults, that you really wonder how they made it this far…and some 13 year olds that have seen things that I may never see in my life, experienced more heart break than any person should have to….so really, what makes you an adult…what makes you mature enough to live your own life and decide your own fate???

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” -Maryanne Williamson

I think that there is a lot to this quote.  I first heard this quote on the movie, Coach Carter and I heard it on the movie, Akeelah and the Beejust last night.  There must be some purpose to this quote becoming mainstream in our culture right now.  I think that it is a very powerful statement to where our culture is heading.  I think that a lot of our younger generation does not want to stand out from the crowd.  In my experience the teenage generation of today wants to be given things and don’t know much about earning what they have or what they want.  Kids blaming parents; students blaming teachers; when do we begin to hold the individual responsible, or better yet, when do we begin to hold ourselves responsible.  I think that responsibility is a thing that is dwindling in our society. 

Why aren’t we encouraging everyone to do the best they can instead of just enough to get by?  Why can’t we be happy for those around us that are better at something?  In my opinion, we should be embracing ourselves as well as those around us:  similarities, differences, perks, and flaws.  What is wrong with standing out?  Why does that mean you cannot still belong? 

I think it’s wrong that we are teaching our younger generations not to do all that they can do to improve themselves…we are teaching them to go with the way things are and do enough to get by….why????  What is a person entitled to if they don’t work for it just as they are???  If you can’t be yourself, and let yourself shine, you will never really know yourself or be happy….

However, I’m sure that some people would argue that you have to do what you have to do in order to make a life for yourself….and I guess that is where you either find a balance where you can do what you need to do as yourself…or you have to decide which is more important to you…being yourself or moving further in life as a member of the crowd. 

I think the quote is a wise one, I don’t think there is anything wrong with intimidating the people around you…I think that the people around you should then take it as a challenge to shine brighter themselves instead of knocking you down to their level.  Don’t be afraid to be yourself……and certainly don’t be afraid to be great.