Shining Thru

Looking into a world you want to belong is like finding a window that has been shuttered and forgotten.  Something that has been bricked in so that no one can use it any longer.  Something that you know is there but is out of reach.  A secret that is carefully guarded.  Maybe a window that has been shuttered, but has a beautiful painting covering it to avoid suspicion.  Nobody bothering to look beyond the outer shell that covers the true purpose of the wall.

You wish you could find the way out the window and into the world you know is laying out there just waiting to be made into your path in life.  Getting a glimpse out the cracks of the shutter or as the curtain is blown to the side.  A beautiful landscape awaits the stories to be written on the hills.

Tired of wondering and wanting the real thing.  Tired of the secret window, unable to get a good look.  Once you sneak a glimpse you want to be able to run free in the sight.  You want to be in the picture and not staring at it through the cracks in the wall.

You might get hurt prying the window open but at least you wont be sneaking glimpses when you’re able.  At least you wont be holding back the secrets, at least you’ll have a way to climb out into the beauty you know is waiting there.

Crushing in from all sides

You feel the tightening in your belly

Your head is pounding with suppressed secrets

Not knowing what is coming, like an animal trapped in a cage

Backed up against the wall of the unknown

Feelings that you can’t let out because of a secret life

Things in this life you don’t want to explain

Things that can’t be foreseen where they will go or how they will end

Looking for the next step

Tired of taking the back roads and stepping around

Creeping in your own skin, just to stay above

Not wanting to drown in your own emotions

Just hoping that logic will keep hold

The crushing weight continuing to pull down.

Unnecessary tension can make a place miserable to be in.  No matter how much fun you’re having on a visit or in a place, tension can make things so awkward that you simply don’t want to be there any more.

All of the questions asked and unasked can create a horrible tension that just wont let up.  You know that answers will only lead to more emotions…so do you leave the questions unasked or unanswered?  Or do you go ahead and let all of the secrets you’ve been keeping either intentionally or just by coincidence out and see what happens?

Either route you want to take there is such potential for a bursting of emotions…. do you go with what has already been taking place, at least you know how the tension is working out or do you go ahead and open up the flood gates because you’re tired of the secrets and the judgments?

Tired of having to act in secrecy and think about how you’re actions or words could ruin everything and make everyone’s life hard….How long do you go on living in tension waiting for things to explode…???

Are secrets good things or bad?  Do they have to be one or the other?  Should people keep things just for themselves?  Is it possible to have secrets that you don’t even realize that you have?

What about things that you haven’t had time to puzzle out for yourself and therefore simply can’t share them with anyone?  If people hate surprises, should you try and force them onto them just because you like to see people surprised?

Secrets are kept every day.  It’s really nice when you know that you have someone you can tell all of your secrets to and still be loved for who you are, no matter how deviant or taboo the secrets may be.  It’s nice to know that at least one person will always love you no matter what.  It’s also nice to know that when you really love a person you can accept all of that person….all of the secrets, all of the things that make them unique.  It’s nice to be loved.  But what happens when that love is the secret that you have to keep from others…what happens when that love isn’t out in the open for everyone to see.  If you don’t know what will happen with the amazing love that fills you with a passion that wont fade.

Everyone has secrets from someone….even if it’s just from the people that you work with because you never know how they would react or how long you would have a job if you showed them who you truly are.  All that you can hope for is for the people that you love and who love you to always accept you and all of your secrets, openly and proudly.  No conditions…just love.