Shining Thru

What does it take to accept yourself for who you are?  Does it include your feelings, even if you know they aren’t always logical…does it mean not making excuses or apologies for what comes natural…even if others see it as wrong?  Does it include the situation that you find yourself in?  Can you have confidence without complete acceptance of who you are?  What if there is something that is very natural in you, but something that you want to go away, should you try and change it, or accept it and just learn how to live with it? 

Strangely enough, I think that some of the cockiest people have the lowest self confidence and have not accepted who they are; they may not even know who they are.  Self discovery is a strange feeling and a long process.  I am willing to bet that some people die, having never figured out who they really were, having always lived in someone’s shadow or the ideals others’ set for them as a child. 

If you hate the situation that you find yourself in, I can see why it would be easy to focus that in as self hatred and blaming yourself for getting yourself in the situation…and although you are responsible for your own choices in life, I don’t think that it’s any reason to hate yourself for those choices…what’s done is done, the question is how will you grow from the experience and move forward into the future with your new understand of yourself and the life that you want to lead. 

I don’t think that we can change our nature…what comes natural to us, has been their since birth…but I do think that we can decide how to use what was given to us to live the type of life that we want to live.  I think that we can accept even our worse qualities and simply learn from them and turn it into something positive that will help you go forward in life. 

I do think that in order to be truly happy, which is something beyond simple contentment, you need to accept yourself…I’m just not sure as to what all that entails.

My friend said to me today “Life is all about self-confidence.”  I would agree with that to some extent, I would at least agree that having self-confidence, or the lack there of, definitely reflects in most parts of your life…your career, love life, social life….etc.  Having self-confidence can really change your life, and I can say that from experience.  I use to lack confidence in myself to the point where I didn’t have much of a social life or love life…I’ve always felt pretty confident in the work field, which is fortunate because no matter what I’ve been able to make a pretty good impression in the work field.  But having a career is only so fulfilling….

I think it’s important to distinguish between arrogance, the impression of confidence, and actually being comfortable with yourself and sure of yourself.  I think in a social/love life it is important that you know who you are and are comfortable with that before you bring other people into the mix at least in any type of serious way.  I think arrogance generally comes from the lack of self confidence and people overcompensating; and lets be serious, nobody likes anyone who thinks they are the end all be all, gift to the earth and can do no wrong.  If you are only giving the impression of confidence, it will catch up with you, people can pick up on your uncertainties, or you will simply come off as arrogant, and once again, nobody likes an arrogant person. 

It is very important to always portray confidence in the work place though, and I know that sounds contradictory, but it shouldn’t surprise anyone.  There are different rules for everything in life, this is no different.  I think you will be much more successful to always seem confident in your career…nobody wants to promote or even hire (in most cases) someone who seems unsure.  You could be the most qualified person, but if you don’t believe that and let the confidence of that knowledge shine through, your chances have just shrunk a great deal.

I guess what I’m saying in all of this, is that my friend was right, and self confidence is important in life….you can still exist but who knows to what quality of life you will have your existence until you simply die out and disappear off the radar……