Shining Thru

jumping surprises at every turn

jousting all around

comments and snide remarks

flying across the spaces

What happened to the holiday spirit?  When did it turn into blowing horns and backed up traffic, agonizing over money and pleasing everyone?  When did the holidays have to be a production instead of a nice quiet time with the family.  Now you’re driving as fast as you can from this place to that, catching a plane, and trying to make everyone happy.  Kids packed into the car, instead of shinning eyes watching for Santa.  It’s nice that some people might still pull off a nice holiday, but it seems like the culture is turning it over to stress and commercialism.  Nobody seems to be trying to just have a nice relaxed vacation with their family, there is always more on the list of things to do…always more responsibilities…always more people to see and make happy….When does it all stop?  When will we figure out to put those things aside and go back to the basics?  When will the stress disappear and when will we be able to ignore the latest add or gimmick?  I wish the holiday season was set back around family and friends…surrounding yourself with loved ones and simply feeling lucky to have those people around you.

Emotions running wild.

Frustration, Tired, Stress, Confusion, Hurt,

Turmoil of the heart and mind merge,

All combine into a crying outburst of feeling…

Feeling forgotten, alone, and unwanted.

Pushed aside for something more important.

Not having the security that you crave,

Knowing there is always the unknown factor.

After a long day of trying and not succeeding

Hoping, but not knowing if everything is okay.

What else can you do but cry out the overflow.

When you try to be understanding and are forgotten

When you get hurt because you trust and expect

The overflow grows…

I think it’s strange how something that would normally just roll off your back or even make you happy on one day, can really piss you off after a day of continual frustration….When things just happen one after another after another, the smallest thing can just make you go over the top so to speak.  Which is getting you to the point where you don’t want to deal with anyone else or anything else. 

Do you ever notice how some people just have that talent of getting under your skin…they just know the right (or wrong, depending on how you look at it) things to say at the exact moment that it’s going to stress you out.  Some people can instigate a fight between two people they hardly know and then just walk away from it.  Some people can make you so mad and angry that you lose your focus and can’t even consentrate because you’re too busy trying to figure out their logic and why they said what they did. 

Have you ever encountered people who have logic that literally hurts your head.  When you can’t even guess at where the stream of consciousness is coming from???  On a day like today they seem to pop up out of the woodwork.  You don’t even know where they come from.  Or maybe you know this is exactly how they are and always have been and probably always will be, but on one of those frustrating things where things just compound one right after the other they seem to really get under your skin, and you can’t shake the thought that the person is just plain stupid…but if you think about it for too long, you start to wonder if you’re missing something, or if you’re stupid because either A)you’ve been thinking about someone’s stupid voiced thought for way too long OR   B)you can’t grasp everyone’s line of thinking which makes you feel inadequate in some way. 

On a frustrating day, all you want is the safety of home, and to relax….isn’t it funny how that never seems to work out.  How you can’t relax, how sometimes you can’t even sleep when really that’s the only escape you know there is from the continual frustration of the day….