Shining Thru

Heaven…interesting word…I think it means something different to every person on the planet.  Some people don’t believe that such a place exists…some people believe that they can find heaven on earth.  Some people envision fluffy clouds and angels with harps…while others imagine a paradise customized to them.

One of the things that got me to thinking about what Heaven really is, is the movie What Dreams May Come, with Robin Williams.  A very interesting movie that has a different interpretation of heaven and hell…or at least different to what I had grown up hearing for most of my life.  The movie is kind of the same idea as The Lovely Bones as far as Heaven goes…meaning that each person can create their own heaven or they can travel and go to the shared part of heaven and see other people that share a vision of the same things of pleasure and peace.  In both movies, the people have to figure out how heaven operates and they have a guide…I have to wonder if a guardian angel’s (if you believe in such things) job doesn’t end when you die, but rather is just beginning as they have to then guide you through the steps of existence in heaven….

I think that there is a mystery that intrigues a lot of people associated with anything that we can’t see or isn’t found in this life time.  Heaven is one of those things that makes people wonder simply because it is something that wont have an answer until after you die…and even then you might not get to find out, depending on who ends up being right in the long run….Since there is no way to find out until we are indeed dead. Although some people believe that there are “near-death” experiences that reveal at least a slice of heaven or what lies on the way to heaven.  There was even a gospel written by someone who claimed that they went to heaven and were able to see all that lies there, but it was decided that it was not worthy of the Bible.

Heaven can inspire so many thoughts, death, dying, hell, angels, God or gods…..

I think there are moments in all of our lives when we wish we had a freeze ray like Dr. Horrible.  If we could just stop time for a little while and get all of those nagging chores done and still have time to relax, or simply to stop things in order to get our time together.  I can completely understand why someone would want to invent something like that.  Sometimes time goes by so fast that you don’t know where it went.  Other times change is so scary that you want to just freeze things so that you can keep them the same…just a little longer, put off the inevitable change a little bit longer.  Or maybe you’re experiencing such a great moment that you want it to last for awhile.  Who wouldn’t want to be able to stop time?

If you were able to stop time for a little while, what would you do with it?  Take some time to relax?  Get a massage?  Get things done?  Go on a vacation?  Would stopping time actually solve anything?  Would all of the problems and the fear of change still be there when you eventually unfroze everything?  Would you need or want to unfreeze things?  It’s an interesting thought….Like time travel, I wonder if it would be as great as it is in theory.  Theories are great because they never go wrong…everything works in theory.  I still think I would like the option of stopping time….Making sure there is time for all aspects of life.  Not caught up with work and ignoring the social life at all….What moment would you freeze, or who would you freeze if you had the time?

For those of you who have seen Dr. Horrible in action, you know that the freeze ray freezes a person, so who would you choose to freeze in time?  That one person who wont stop talking or who is always knocking on your door or calling your phone?  Is that the person you would like to just sort of take a time out for and stop time for them?  Would you pick the person who annoys you the most?  Or maybe the person you want to look at the most, but just don’t have time for at the moment?…..So many possibilities.

The Holidays….How do you celebrate?  With friends?  Family?  Does it really matter or are you just happy to have the time off of work?  Do we remember why there is a holiday, or simply get caught up in the commercials, shopping, and Santa?  Trying to get here or there, on to the next obligation….Do we take the time to actually reflect on what we are doing or do we simply go through the routine of trying to make sure that we see everyone and make everyone happy by bring a fruit platter or fudge tins. 

Are the holidays something to look forward to any more or simply something that we have to go through and so we do our duty and meet all of our obligations…..Obligations of the holidays can stretch from buying gifts (which I personally get pleasure from) to making sure you see all of the relatives…even the ones you might not like to be around so much.  Do we see those people because it’s the spirit of the season, or do we do it because we feel obligated to do so.  Sometimes even when we look forward to seeing certain people, once we get there we keep looking at the watch, waiting for dinner to be over, the polite conversation, the amusing stories that really only entertain the person telling them….

Sometimes it can be different.  Sometimes the season can be full of delightful surprises.  I have to wonder at how much we hope for these instead of making them happen?  Sometimes I think that we put too much time into thinking about things and not enough time in simply enjoying what we have and what’s going on. 

Holidays….a time to rejoice and enjoy some relaxation with family and friends…or a time of obligations and misery… I guess that’s up to the person…

It’s frustrating to look around at your life and the people around you and know that the boss is the one who gets to sit behind their desk and get paid 5 times more than you or more while you work your ass off.  Poor leadership is frustrating because it creates a poor work environment…if they’re not willing to do their job, there is a very slim chance that they are going to support you when you need it.  No Support in the work place makes you not want to go back.  To see the people who are suppose to be in the leadership roles frustrates you as they sit by and do nothing except criticize.  Never taking the time to find out how to make your job easier or how to support you but always adding a new responsibility to your job description so that their job is made easier.  It’s like some of our so called “leaders” feel that we are here to serve them instead of doing our own job.  Why is it that the those who work the hardest are always the ones that are over looked and get paid the least?  The leader gets to do all of the critique and take all of the credit but sometimes have no idea what the work actually entails that they are suppose to be supervising.  Sometimes they are so oblivious to the fact that maybe the people underneath them are doing the best they can with what they have and maybe that one extra thing cannot possibly get done within the confines.  Frustration builds up and so the work place is some place that is dreaded, where as it should make you happy to get up and go to work, eventually frustration can make you hit that snooze a few more times until one day you just roll over and decide you’re going to skip the annoyances that day.  I think that poor leadership can drive away good employees faster than anything else.

What is romance and where can you find it?  Can it be in a song, book, letter?  What about a smile, wink, look?  A touch, a date, a dinner?  A flower, a gift, wine?  What makes something romantic?

Why is it that it seems like one thing could be one of the most romantic things you can think of and absolutely repulse another person or at least make them role their eyes and wish their way out of the conversation or worse the experience if your thoughts are already taking action…..Why is it that one thing might work with one person…maybe you truly enjoyed it, but then tried with someone else, and it is just no use…just wont work.  Why are some things amazing with one person and then boring, something you might even resent with someone else?

I think it’s interesting to see how much the idea of romance has changed, not only on a personal level, but also as a society.  I know I am a romantic at heart.  I love things with personal meaning, I love a lot of the classic ideas of romance…however, I have found that with the right person, almost anything can melt my heart and give me that feeling of romance.

Why is it that some people can be so careless with their words, thinking that nothing they say matters; when others feel like people should hang on every syllable? 

Some people will say whatever pops into their minds, no matter what the consequences, mainly because they never stop to think about the consequences.  They also don’t always realize that somebody might be taking all of their spoken thoughts to heart.  Sometimes things should stay in a person’s head.  I, for one, am very glad that people can’t read each other’s minds.  I would be really embarrassed if people could hear or see every thought that popped into my head, and I don’t think I want to know what everyone around me really things about me.

Then the other group of people, don’t seem to realize when what they have to say really doesn’t affect the other person at all, and is just a waste of time as far as the listener is concerned.  Sometimes I think these people need to take a step back and realize that not everyone is going to care, and they should not automatically assume that people do care about what they have to say.  Not everyone is going to have the same interests as these talkers, but these people just don’t seem to realize that not everyone wants to listen.  Not everyone wants to waste their time with what the talker feels is important.  Some people just want to know what they absolutely need to know and then move on with their lives. 

It’s always amazing how two extremes exist every day side by side.  I’m not sure how people don’t drive each other crazy every day.  Or maybe they do and we just don’t hear about it.

Memories seem to be of importance in most cultures, back to ancient times when it was a treat to hear the story of the culture’s history.  And then we moved to journals and works of art (clay, paintings, tapestries, etc).  Writing the unknown thoughts that pour forth, the gaping knowledge you can’t always tap, not wanting to lose it….but why have we always wanted to keep things from our time alive?  Do we really write it to go back and read, do we hope that someone else will read it later?  Do we write to keep things alive at all, or to let it go?  What is the real purpose of all of the traditions that go into the keeping of memories?  It seems like every culture has their own traditions about storytelling and memories, but do they tell them to keep them alive and well or to let them go and learn from the past?

Brick wall covered in dirt

Surrounds the trapped mind

Not knowing only wondering

Thinking chaotic confusion

Circles swirling in the entrapment

Tumbling, Spinning, Something Missing

Pounding want for understanding

Falls on deaf ears

Muted by the bricks and stone

Alone and cold, you wait

Fighting the natural instinct to scream

You wait, listen, thinking

Round and Round you travel within yourself

Discovering the own horrors and depths of your mind

Finding the enclosed space of your head and thoughts to suffocate

Arms wrapping around as the only defense

The bricks and dirt close in on the spinning mind.

You never know what life will bring

What will come around the corner

What you may encounter next

What kind of reactions people will have

Who you will have to deal with and why

Will it be good news or bad news?

Will the dog lick you or bite you?

Will the storm be a show of majestic power or death and destruction?

Will someone stick by you or walk away?

Will things be easy or hard?

I guess it doesn’t matter as long as you take every day as it comes and get through everything that life throws at you.  Sitting alone at night thinking about where life has brought you can sometimes lead to your mind wandering into places that you never expected.  Coming back to dwell on thoughts of comfort and love…..

The red passion blossoming out of the bleakness

The gray, white and black, with a glimpse of color

The deep, bright red of passion and love bleeding out of the paper

The painted color that somehow brings life to the rest

The one image of color, a glimpse of passion in a world of grey

Inspiring image on the wall, a glimpse of hope and love and trust

The solid colors painted on, are able to bring your mind to life

Stir the emotions in your heart and the thoughts of your mind.

How can one image wield so much power sitting on the wall

A vision that you see every day, morning and night.

A constant reminder of a glimpse of unusual passion in a world of grey.