Shining Thru

Trusting people is an interesting thing….you can’t really have close relationships, sexual or otherwise without the foundation of trust…and yet people throw it away as if it was dirty laundry.  You have to wonder if maybe you have given the gift of trust away to easily, and haven’t held the proper interviews….a bunch of things happen when you realize that something that you thought was there really isn’t and maybe never was.

Do you go on trusting people and risking being hurt, and betrayed or keep everything tight up inside and never let anyone in?

What happens when you are no longer sure what friendship means?  Or relationship?  What happens when you don’t know how you should interact with people because you just don’t know what could happen in the future.  I’m sure some people would argue that you need to treasure the time that you have and feel blessed that you had certain people in your life at all…but then what happens when that is suddenly taken from you, no warning, no goodbye, just gone….leaving the empty footsteps in the wake, just waiting to disappear with the wind.  It’s easy to say that  you just want to treasure the time that you have, until that time is gone, and then you have to realize that things are not always that simple.  I think, more times than not, people find themselves wanting that friendship, or that relationship back, if for nothing else, so they can feel that trust they thought they shared with the person again.  Even most friendships have an emotional connection that comes tumbling down when the people separate.

More than likely, the emptiness will fill again if you let it, but of course that leaves the opportunity open for history to repeat itself once again.  So you have to make the decision, do you allow yourself the chance to get hurt and accept new friends into your life, or do you hold back and keep to yourself to never feel the betrayal of a friend shutting you out?

I don’t understand people that think other people only exist to serve them….they only prove their point by ignoring people until they need something from them, and then all of the sudden they want to be your best friend…or at least until they get what they want from you.  I wish I could understand the mentality that would actually lead a person to think that it is ok to treat people that way, as if they are the Ruler of the land and everyone is just another humble servant who can’t wait to grant their every wish and desire. 

It’s amazing how people choose to interact with each other, or at least with certain people.  As if the people they encounter don’t feel put off at all by the treatment.  Have they never felt hurt or anger or frustration with someone for similar treatment?  Are they not able to feel these things because they are so centered around themselves that it doesn’t even occur to them to feel anything because they don’t notice how others treat them? 

I have to wonder if people realize how they appear when other people witness their treatment of the people around them.  Personally when I see someone who just uses another person, it makes me not want to trust them, or even help them out in any way.  It kind of makes me just want to let them flounder because they are obviously use to people giving them exactly what they want, when they want it; as if they are entitled to something that the rest of us can only dream of.

You can only trust people to be as exactly as they are.  A hard lesson that must be learned, or you can go through life trying to see the good and trusting people and getting screwed over in the end.

If you trust the people that only have their best interest at heart, to have yours as well, you will lose out every time.  And then people want to quickly back track and let you know that you should go on trusting them…but why??  What’s your motive?  There isn’t one….the only thing you can do is move forward a little wiser, and remember the lesson you learned about trust so that you never find yourself in that position again.

It’s such a shame that it comes down to this, I wish that we could believe what people tell us, and believe that they mean what they say when they appear to give a damn about you, but in reality, you have got to do what’s best for you.  Because you are the only person that you know what lies behind in the depths of the mind as motivation.  Everyone else’s dark recesses of the mind will always be a mystery.  You can never know what lies behind the actions of another until the end game is seen.  Trying to figure it out will only exhaust the mind, it’s better just to make sure that you are always watching out for yourself, and as selfish as that sounds, it’s better than getting screwed over.

It’s nice when you realize that the person you love really does love you for exactly who you are.  It’s nice to know that you are not expected to change, that it’s ok to be who you are.  Even the things that you fear would drive someone away are simply accepted by someone who truly loves you.  It’s so great to know that you don’t  have to that you can be completely honest and that the honesty hasn’t driven the person away….they are still there, still looking in your eyes lovingly and you know that they love you as much as you love them…that you are not alone, not drowning in this powerful emotion that you can’t choose to have or not have…it simply is or is not. 

It’s nice to know that although there is a lot that goes wrong in life or at least not the way you expect things to go…it is a lot easier knowing that you are loved and that your love is accepted with an open heart and returned.  It’s just nice to know that someone cares.  Nice to know that sometimes there really is a perfect fit and that life keeps on going as long as you keep on living and don’t give up.

I heard someone the other day talk about how in our society today it’s almost necessary to build up walls to protect yourself from all of the liars and scams that come around today.  However, if we spend so much time trying to protect ourselves by blocking things from coming in, how will we ever take the risk that is necessary for trust?  If we don’t take the risks for trust, how can we ever expect to develop any kind of real relationship?

People are so scared of being hurt that they don’t want to risk the amazing feeling of trust.  Sometimes it seems like the fear of the  little bit of pain that you could experience really battles for control over the love and trust that you could have with a person.  If you never open yourself and take that risk than trust will never be available to you….that has to be the loneliest thing in the world for someone…not to have anyone to trust. 

I hope that most people can allow themselves for at least that one right person to open up to the experience of love and trust.  It would just make me sad to think of someone going their whole life without feeling those things.

It’s strange what happens when people decide to start opening up about personal issues, thoughts, feelings, etc….It’s strange at what kind of things allow different people to lower their guards and be honest with others and themselves.  Some people need others to trust in them before they will trust in that person…while others need a safe and small environment; still others sometimes only feel comfortable in front of a large crowd.  I think it’s so strange that we are all built differently to feel comfortable in different situations.  Some people have a best friend while others only really trust their family members.  I’m sure some of it is how we are raised, but I think that some of it is hardwired into us….something that we are born with and can’t help….however, I do think that it can be altered by extreme upbringings. 
So much of how we are is learned behavior…..I still believe that there are some things that we are just born with.  What makes a person trust another person, or feel comfortable in one situation, while in another situation that might even be very similar, they are withdrawn and shy….I wonder what it is that makes people feel safe and secure?

The BitterSweet moments in life always come when they are the least expected.  Generally you don’t think, ‘wow I would love for this to happen because it will make me completely miserable in another way.’  The BitterSweet moments are what make us know we are alive, that we can feel, that we still have a beating heart that can love, be exulted, but still break and bleed. 

Things to remember in life:

“True love promises risk, not a guarantee” -unknown

Sometimes you need to just go with things to see what happens next

Trust can be a friend or an enemy — you can either trust that things will work out the way they are suppose to, or feel betrayed by trusting your feelings

Someone always gets hurt – When you try to please everyone, everyone gets hurt.

Passion often rules over logic, so be careful who and what you are passionate about or you will be left vulnerable. 

Honesty can only get you so far

You are the only one who has to live with you for 24 hours a day 7 days a week

Feelings Lie

The people who love you the most can hurt you the most

There is always something that you didn’t see coming

You never know what could happen – only what has happened, how you handled it, and try and prepare for if it happens again

You can never be prepared, everything changes with time, the same exact thing never happens twice

You will change with every event that happens in your life, the positive, the negative, and the bittersweet.

I think that the smile is the most interesting of reactions to get from someone.  A smile can mean so many different things that it is hard to know which one you are looking at when you see a smile.  A smile can mask emotions when someone is confused, nervous, anxious, or sometimes even angry.  A smile can be used to flirt.  A smile can be used when someone is shy and doesn’t know what to say.  A smile can be used by the villain when they are up to something sinister.  A smile can be used to show appreciation.  There are many uses, but I really think that smiles bring confusion.  It is easy to misread a smile. 

I have heard someone say before to never trust someone who smiles a lot.  At the time it seemed strange to me because we are trained to believe that a smile is a welcoming and warm gesture.  It makes most people feel good to see someone smile.  Now I’m not so sure they didn’t have a point.  I guess it depends on the life experiences that get you to a conclusion like what you believe a smile is.