Shining Thru

There seems to be a thin line when trying to balance life out and experience it to the fullest…if you’re not involved in enough activities, groups, people, etc, then you feel like you never do anything but stay home….on the flip side when you start working multiple jobs, get involved with different clubs and groups, and start hanging out with different people it is easy to become overwhelmed to the point of not feeling like you ever have time for yourself….the problem being that by the time you get overwhelmed you are generally already committed, or have justified everything in your head to the point that you don’t want to back out of anything or give up anything…so then what do you do?  Continue to take away hours of sleep, just to get in some time to quiet your mind?  But if you use that as your answer, you start to suffer during the day….your patience grows thin, you get sick of things that are happening around you every day, you start not to enjoy being around the same people because you just want to be alone sometimes…What’s really sad is when you spend all of your time with people, and most of them are not the few that you really want to see….So now, you have a packed schedule, you’re seeing people that you don’t have patience for, and missing the people that you love.

I think that balancing out your life takes real talent…sometimes it’s a lot harder than you think, especially because every time you think you are walking along the tightrope without any problems, a strong breeze comes through and something throws you back off balance.  Sometimes you feel like you are trudging along, but as much as you try to move forward, sometimes you just sink deeper into the mud.

Other times things seem to go really well.  You do all of the things that you want to do, and see all of the people that you want to see….however, it’s easy to get distracted from the things that you need to do at that point.  I wish I could find that perfect balance between the two.

I’m kind of tried of hearing people complain about people in public service jobs:  the cops only eat donuts and drink coffee, teachers are over paid babysitters, nurses only write things down for the doctors, or couldn’t make it through med school….

People make these complaints until they need that service from someone in the community and we wonder why these people are bitter.  They probably love their job, or they wouldn’t do it for the crappy pay.  But instead of thanks they generally get complaints and people who don’t understand why anything that they dream up might simply not be possible….

Why do people think that only their needs are important?  Or that they should always be the first priority?  Instead the people who try to do public services only end up being complained about and hated.  People only want to complain, without taking the time to understand what others have to do.  I think that people should really take the time to look at what other people have to do instead of wondering why they are not doing what you want them to do.

Stinging slap, pleasant sting

The bad can sometimes feel good

Why is it that although one person may be hurt

Another person can feel loved by the same act?

Some words can reach out and touch one person…yet offend another

Some actions can draw the attention of some people…and get the silent treatment from others

Some people like the very things another person hates

People are all unique in their desires and wants….

I wonder why we all work so differently and yet we are all the same being….

We are all humans, we are all people society…some of different societies, but all societies none the less

And yet some of the things taboo in one culture are embarrassed in another…

One thing tabooed and outlawed in your own culture and society may be the very thing that you want the most in life…

Why is it that some people are forced to hide what they want simply because of society protocol?  

I don’t think that desires can be controlled…we can only control our reaction to our want

Should a person downplay their desires because society says it’s not something that they should want to have?  Or should they fight to have it?  Should they proudly open up about their desires…or sneak around behind closed doors?

Sadly I think that most people would agree that as long as our American society stays as judgemental as it is, then we will have to suppress what we want the most, and keep it behind closed doors, or give up the idea of a professional life.

It’s strange that our bodies crave things that we are sometimes unaware that we want or need so much.  It seems that everyone’s cravings are different, some people crave foods and drinks, while others crave adventure, or sex, or maybe some other thing that they have to keep hidden away behind closed doors. 

How is it that soemtimes our bodies understand something that our minds cannot?  Why is it that we get these great desires that cannot be ignored, it’s hard to put them out of mind for awhile.  Sometimes a person’s mood can be changed by the want of something that they want so badly. 

Sometimes we want a thing because it’s something that we are use to and haven’t had in awhile, sometimes we might not know why we want a particular thing.  It’s strange the way our body works with our minds…making us aware of different things, hunger, thirst, etc.  It’s the same thing when we want a particular thing…I have to wonder what makes our bodies feel like they want a certain thing for seemingly no reason….

“There it is.  We get used to everything.  We find hope in anything.”  -  Ender’s Shaddow by Orson Scott Card.

I thought this was a very interesting quote as I was reading along.  I was wondering if it was actually true.  I can remember when a teacher once told me of a motif found in Crime and Punishment which was a square foot of space, someone being trapped in a small space, praying for death, but then when faced with it, they choose to stay where they are.  I wonder if that is how it works for most people?  I wonder if most people will adapt and “get use to” ANYTHING rather than choosing death, or not being alive at that time.  …. it can’t work for everyone, or there wouldn’t be suicide….those people have obviously not been able to adapt, and just get use to their situation…or do they just snap and not give themselves time to get use to it? 

As for hope, it’s a concept that I’ve wondered about quite often…what makes us hope in something…a situation, a person, a religion, a higher being; whatever the thing may be that we find great hope in….what is the reason behind it?  Do we need to feel that there is hope?  Or is there really reason to hope?  What good does having hope do for a person?…..

Are there certain emotions and feelings that we search for in life and don’t feel complete until we find them?  Are some people designed to only search for some of those things while others crave to experience all of them?  Does everyone have need of “hope”?  What if they are in their perfect situation?  What about a person who has gotten so use to not having something that they no longer feel hope for anything, have no ambition, have not need for the emotional comfort of hope, since it has only let them down in the past?  What about the people who secretly hope, but don’t want to admit it to anyone, sometimes even themselves?  They want to hope, they still have this “need” for it, but have been let down so many times that they don’t want to give it another chance to knock them down again. 

Are these things instilled in most of us and we just adjust to what we do with the needs and desires we are designed with?  Or are they things that society has drilled into us as needing?  Maybe it’s neither of these options….