Shining Thru

Have you ever ran smack into a hard decision that leaves you feeling like you hit a brick wall…all disoriented and out of sorts, not really sure of what happened or where it came from?  Completely unexpected, not quite knowing what do to do, or the next step to take….You don’t want to disappoint anyone but you know you need to watch out for what’s best for you…what is the definition of the “right” thing to do…How do you know when you reach your final decision?  How do you know that you wont regret it…

I guess you really don’t know.  Sometimes you might just have to take a chance and trust your instincts, and if it turns out not to be right for you, you move on and make another decision to move on to something else….What else can you do?  Weigh the options, pick one, and hope things work out for the best….

Vacations are weird things….sometimes they can be so wonderful that you don’t want to go back to reality…other times they can become nothing more than a stretch of time of boredom….the other possibility is that it becomes more stressful than your day to day life in the working world.

For me, the holiday break is a welcome break, but by the time I go through the boredom stage and am just settling into enjoying the break, it is time to go back to work.  The first few days spent winding down and trying to get caught up in the things outside of work.  Then maybe a day of enjoyment, but generally over the holidays there are too many things to do and people to see to have time to rest.  Then there is the boredom stage of feeling like I’m not accomplishing anything.  Then I am able to enjoy a few days, happily oblivious to the work that is waiting for me back at the job.  Then reality hits…it’s time to go back….

Sadness, frustration that I didn’t have enough time to get everything done over the break that I had planned to do; knowing that I’m dragging my feet, all of the emotions filter through as I prepare for the next day of returning to work.  I wonder if it will be the same as when I left it or if I will feel good returning?  Will I find the joy that I did after the summer vacation?  Or will I be frustrated that I’m there and start a count down until the next vacation?…

I think it’s kind of odd how quickly we can fall out of our routine.  Just as you’re getting use to the nice extended weekend of Thanksgiving and relaxing into a new routine…it’s back to work and the daily grind.  Unfortunately really, the fact that you can’t really take a break because you spend the first few days winding down from everything at work and then you have to spend the last day getting ready to go back to work.  Some people can’t even stay away that long from their work and end up sneaking into the office or working from home when they could be relaxing.  We’re so trained into our routine that if we do get to take a breath it’s only a quick one before our mind is back at the work place…thinking about going back, preparing paperwork, finishing up a project, or actually going into the office because you’re afraid of the work load that is building up while everyone is suppose to be on a break, since you know there are others like you that just can’t seem to take a real break.  What would it take for us to all just put work aside and concentrate on the important things in life?  Forget about money, bills, work, paperwork???  What would it take…Will it ever be possible?  Could it ever be possible?  I think that society has ingrained certain worries and concerns over certain responsibilities to the point that we have a really hard time putting them to the side and taking a break just for ourselves.  Simply relaxing for relaxation sake.  Enjoying our family and friends without a second thought to any work that is awaiting us on the desk or stacked on the table at home.  Going back to work from this wonderful long weekend made me realize how little of the break I actually enjoyed, which is why I think that we all feel like the break wasn’t long enough.  Like I said, we spend the first two days trying t let go of everything at work and then the last day getting back into the swing of things.

It’s frustrating to look around at your life and the people around you and know that the boss is the one who gets to sit behind their desk and get paid 5 times more than you or more while you work your ass off.  Poor leadership is frustrating because it creates a poor work environment…if they’re not willing to do their job, there is a very slim chance that they are going to support you when you need it.  No Support in the work place makes you not want to go back.  To see the people who are suppose to be in the leadership roles frustrates you as they sit by and do nothing except criticize.  Never taking the time to find out how to make your job easier or how to support you but always adding a new responsibility to your job description so that their job is made easier.  It’s like some of our so called “leaders” feel that we are here to serve them instead of doing our own job.  Why is it that the those who work the hardest are always the ones that are over looked and get paid the least?  The leader gets to do all of the critique and take all of the credit but sometimes have no idea what the work actually entails that they are suppose to be supervising.  Sometimes they are so oblivious to the fact that maybe the people underneath them are doing the best they can with what they have and maybe that one extra thing cannot possibly get done within the confines.  Frustration builds up and so the work place is some place that is dreaded, where as it should make you happy to get up and go to work, eventually frustration can make you hit that snooze a few more times until one day you just roll over and decide you’re going to skip the annoyances that day.  I think that poor leadership can drive away good employees faster than anything else.